[ceecel.dee]

You can do it Kathryn! It will take work, but it sounds like you can do the hard work! It felt good to write all this down, because you are now on the road to recovery, so keep talking, surround yourself with positive people.
Ask for a preceptor/mentor at your next job so that you have someone who can give you the feedback you need to feel confident in your skills again.
The best of luck!

[barefootlady]

Kathryn,
Your honesty is to be commended. I agree with many other posters who have advised you to seek professional counselling prior to returning to nursing full time. I would speak to an attorney if possible. The board may even be able to help you. I do not know why you would have to mention the state that considered your license conditions unfilled, you let the license lapse, so do a search and see what happens. Use the link on this board, it will be faster and easier.
I do not know where you are but, since your experience is with the health department, why not start there? I know the pay is a little low, and since you are a single parent every penny counts, but it is a job you enjoyed and are familiar with.
I am sure there is a place for you in nursing, there are so many different areas open now. I wish you good luck on the refresher course, here in WV they are few and far between.

[Jnaviles]

Kathryn

I also agree with everyone post here.
1. you are a very brave and strong person to admit that you have an eating disorder that is the first step to getting better
2. You got a divorce of someone that hurts you and your girls

Now you are on your way to restore your life and your nursing career. Learn to look yourself in a mirror and see a very brave and strong women in front of you. Hug yourself and learn to love yourself. You deserve tons of kudos. I hope everything works out for you and God Bless you and your girls.

[coral0033]

My Dear, what RN/WRITER HAS MENTIONED,adhere to all that is said i am a PSCHY nurse myself i could not have put it better you have had the courage to write about youself, so your selfesteem is not that low just work on every thing and be positive in what ever you go to do keep saying to yourself that you will suceed when those bad times come before you think of somthing nicethat has happend in your life.Good luck work on it.

[leslymill]

Kathryn,
My name is Leslie. I am going through some very VERY similar circumstances. I am dooing the refresher course right now. I requested it from the state board because of my attitude change regarding my career choice. I LOVED nursing for 10 years and hated it for 12. I have had my license attacked and left it and New Orleans to their demise. My family is talking me back into it. I have not needed a Zantac in 4 years. Last week I started on 75mg a day. I don't have anorexia. I am glad I don't have headaches. Stomach to jaw burns after just a bite of food now...sigh. At least I like nursing again. I hope and pray I get a good precepter to build up my confidence and help me identify any anger I may be trying to hide.
If you need an ear, or have an ear, for someone going through what your going through, send me a PM.

[deeDawntee]

I was truly moved and touched by your post. You have been through sooo much. I am sorry that you didn't have the support that you needed with that bogus licensure issue. It sounds if you had pursued a lawyer or other support you would have had a very good chance of beating those charges. That is something you cannot change.

I have had mental health issues and an eating disorder myself and the most important thing you can do for yourself is to find a long-term therapist who you can use as support as you go through your refresher course and interview and start your first job. I would start that process now and use your therapist as a guide as to when you should start the refresher course etc, however given the strength of your post, I think you can start soon. But please get that therapist in your corner. I am still in therapy and am now an ICU nurse and just achieved my CCRN! There is NO WAY I would have ever achieved these milestones without a therapist in my corner. Would not have happened!! Getting myself into long-term therapy is the very best thing I have ever done for myself! Remember,
relationships heal. A healing connection is what you need.

[P_RN]

Just a note to say this original post is from 2005.

[RN mom of 2]

"At any rate, you have permission to eat. You have permission to hug yourself and be on your own team. You have permission to love yourself right this minute and not have to wait until you have wiped up all the spilled milk. You have permission to laugh and sleep and cuddle your kids and want things and not want things and just be you every minute of every day."

I'm not sure if rn/writer is still posting here, but that was so lovely. I think we all need to here that once in awhile.

[ricemilk]

I read your other post about wanting to get into active nursing. I was inspired with that. You should go for it, you'll never know how many patients under your care will be blessed if you wont.

Then I've read your very brave revelation here, I was doubly inspired. No, triple inspired...I'm humbled...there's so many things to learn from your experience...I really admire your courage to stand up after that great storm in your life...God has great purposes for you knowing He has bestowed you with so much talent and wit, and one of it, obviously, is this- to serve as an encouragement to us. Thank you so much!

Trials work for us, and not against us. Humble yourself before the Lord, and HE WILL LIFT YOU UP.

God bless your plans and efforts!

[RN mom of 2]

Originally Posted by ricemilk

You should go for it, you'll never know how many patients under your care will be blessed if you wont.

This is a wonderful way to look at it! I am still struggling with returning to work. I've been away for 8 yrs now and it makes it even more daunting to go back. I'm going to keep what you stated in mind. Thank you for that!