[crissrn27]

Originally Posted by markas214

Report what? That she has a "feeling" the woman is being abused. I like the way so many here are assuming that this is an abusive situation without first hand knowledge. Wait for your supervisor's return and discuss it then. If you go out on your own when the policy is using the chain of command you may end up fired. Especially if the patient subsequently sues you for defamation because while her husband is an obnoxious jerk she does not feel abused.

I think a suit for defamation wouldn't go very far. He did yell at her, answered questions for her and wouldn't allow her to answer questions, womans demeanor was timid, etc. Objective data, and the OP would be irresponsible not to do what was in her power to do. Maybe the woman doesn't "feel" abused. Maybe she isn't being abused, and her husband was just having a bad day and being snippy, who knows. But for everyone just to ignore it is the way a lot of woman (and some men) end up seriously injured or dead. If it were my daughter, or sister, or mother, the OP was suspecting of being abused, I'd want her to report it. Even if no abuse was occurring, its better safe than sorry. The couple in the OP can just laugh over the silly nurse that thought abuse was going on and go about their life. If she is being abused maybe she will get some much needed help. We wouldn't ignore it if she were a child, or an elderly person, would we?

[canoehead]

You can ask him to leave for part of the exam, call her at home and ask her about your concerns, continue to document his and her behaviors.

By doing that you have expressed your concern for her, and let her know there is someone outside the family that is available to talk to- someone who knows the resources available.

If she wants help, follow her lead- ask her what she wants, and go over the options to get it done. When she is ready and what she wants-it is her call. If you force your way into the situation you may tip him off, and prevent her next attempt to get help.

APS with a consenting adult seems pretty useless to me. They can't force anyone to do anything anymore than you or I could.

Working in the hospital I just ask for a UA and step into the bathroom to "explain" how to obtain the sample. So far no husband has found an excuse to come too, something about women and bathrooms puts them off.

[bethin]

I would report it. Have the husband step out telling him she needs a UA. Speak to the woman. She may deny the abuse but let her know that you are always there for her at any time if she wants to talk. Keep communication open. Also, by her husband responding to questions meant for the patient that is impeding medical care. The husband cannot possibly know how much pain the patient is in or how nauseated the patient is, color of urine (unless he sits in there with her). My heart goes out to this patient and everyone in her position. She is the one receiving medical care so she needs to answer the questions.

Maybe if he isn't hitting her and he gets reported he might change his ways. Might, but I won't hold my breath.

In response to some others posts, how many women who are abused show up at the hospital or police station proudly announcing that they are abused? None. I was abused for 2 years and was asked about it all the time. Each time I lied. Rarely anyone in an abusive relationship comes out until it's either too late or it get so horrible and they realize what they're really in. I'd hate for Dutchgirl to read about this patient in the newspaper. Just because you don't see bruises doesn't mean it's not abuse.

[whiskeygirl]

Originally Posted by canoehead

Working in the hospital I just ask for a UA and step into the bathroom to "explain" how to obtain the sample. So far no husband has found an excuse to come too, something about women and bathrooms puts them off.

CanoeHead-
This is GREAT advice! And likely to work. I will remember this and hope to be able to recall your suggestion when necessary.
WG

[rita359]

Sounds like the wife is afraid of her husband. However, making this situation better would have to be delicately handled or the womans situation could go from bad to worse. Much as we would like to have all women out of these situations individuals have to make their own decisions. Some of those decisions make little sense taken out of context from all else that is going on in a persons life. Sometime leaving is the most dangerous time of all.