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by msdr

My nurse,

I don't know if you are here or not, but I had to put this letter out here and try. I want you to know how much you changed my life.

8 years ago you save me. I came into the ER late that night and everything was a blur. I barely remember your face, because I had overdosed on Tylenol. I wouldnt say what I took, so it took awhile for the bloodwork to come back, by midnight I was on your ward in the PICU.

My mother left me in the elevator. What I thought was her hand I was reaching for was yours. You got me undressed and put me on a gown. You taped my NG tube so it would quit pulling on everything. I cried and screamed for mother, but she wouldn't answer the phone when you called. After everything settled you held my hand and we watched a movie until I fell asleep.

The next night I saw you, you told me I was too pretty and smart to do this to myself. You helped me brush my teeth, and wash up. I was in a world of pain and constantly had asthma attacks, you held my hand again until I fell asleep. You gave me my nasty meds through my tube and made me swear to never forget. Under no circumstances was I to come back. You were there for 4 days. My mother never came back. You bought me some cheapie sweats to wear and snuck me ice cream. We ate jello and you told me about your cat. I told you about mine.

When I left you said you never wanted to see me again like this. That it was never this bad and that I better not come back. To go make something of myself and to h#ll with everyone else.

I haven't seen you since and I just wanted you to know, I'm ok. You helped me decide I wanted to be a nurse. I only have 2 years left in school. I'm doing pretty good, now.

I never got to tell you, but thank you. You saved my life and you gave me a dream. I had every intention of swallowing another bottle of pills until you came along. I want to be like you one day. I don't know if you are here, but this would be the only way I could think to tell you.


-A

[2bNurseNik]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

This was beautiful. Best of luck to you.

[maralenn]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

Wow. That brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes, I think all of us nurses wonder if we've really made an impact on our patients. This was absolutely inspiring.

And KUDOS TO YOU!!! What a brave and wonderful person you are! I hope you have the beautiful life that you deserve.

Good luck to you in school and in life. We're here for you if you need anything.

[dream8]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

Dont make me cry..

This is exactly why I became a nurse...This is the beauty of this profession. It touches so many lives in a simple but lasting way. I had a situation similar to this also. The care I received during two of my hospital visits, reconfirmed my aspirations to be a nurse.

Wow.. through all the stress we have to through stories like this give it all meaning.

[earle58]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

msdr, your story was very powerful.
and to think that one day, you as a nurse, will touch another's soul just as deeply... and will inspire another to spread the love.
the very best of everything to you.
and thank you.

leslie

[SANDRA RN]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

Best Of Luck To You. Your Story Was Beautiful.

[iceyspots]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

Thanks for letting us know there are still some out there who appreciate us

[annmariern]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

thank you. i really needed to remember why I do it today after being slapped around by managers who are more concerned about having a "stepford nurse" than a bit one who genuinely cares about the people they care for; reminded me just how much impact, good or bad we have on out peeps, for us its just another shift, for them its a significant event in their lives and they are vulnerable. I hope your nurse is here. As for you, I hope you are proud of what how far you have come and for noticing the difference it makes to do a nurses job well Good luck and thanks.

[AliRae]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

As a PICU nurse, I've taken care of many young, promising kids who have overdosed. Every once in a while, we hear about one who, after multiple attempts, finally succeeds in completing their suicide. I was just sitting here thinking about one of those girls, almost in tears because of what I thought was the futility of what we do. Until I saw your story.

I wasn't your nurse back then, but reading your story just now gave ME hope. Hope that, somewhere, there's a girl out there who has turned her life around because of something myself or one of the girls I work with did or said. I'm tempted to print out your post and slap it on the break room door. "Look, ladies," I'll say, "look what it can mean."

[NYDreamer]

Re: I don't know if you are here or not

Everytime I think of quitting and just giving up, I'll think of this story and remind myself why I want to be a nurse