[st4304]

Once upon a time, when I was a young, energetic nurse I admitted a handsome, young executive type...very good looking and about my age. I felt he was a little embarrassed for me to be admitting him and asking him such personal questions about, you know, his bowel patterns and such. However, I remained professional and we got through the admission. His admitting diagnosis was bowel related and I had an order to do an occult stool. Soooooooo, I asked in my most professional tone that he save his next bowel movement for the nurses to check and I placed a hat in the commode.

A couple of hours went by when his call light came on. When I entered his room, his face was very red. He had had a bowel movement and had saved it for me. I thanked him and entered the BR. There sitting in the middle of the hat was the perfect turd -- it looked just like a Dairy Queen large, chocolate cone -- even with the little curly-q on top! It was hilarious. Of course, my professionalism when out the door and I teased him unmercifully. He ended up having a great sense of humor, thank God!

Also, anyone ever have any experiences with exploding colostomy bags in the middle of the night after housekeeping has gone home? Just wondering. I have.

[OBNURSEHEATHER]

I'm sitting here laughing my a** off! What a wonderful description of a turd! No one's story can possibly live up to this one!!!



Heather

[misti_z]

That is sooooooooo funny

I had lab call me the other night and said they could not do the stool studies on the stool that was sent down earlier that day because it was undigested green beans!!!! GROSS.

[proud2bme]

St4304-

We call that "the perfect swirl"! LOL!

[ERNurse752]

Awhile back on the ICU, when we still used to dye our tube feedings blue, pts poop was this nasty liquid green stuff. It was especially nasty on the nights the cafeteria sent up creamed spinach on the soft diet trays...

YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

[disher]

A colleague had disimpacted a patient when she called me to check the patient's stool. (She thought she saw a tape worm). Went and looked asked the patient did you have Chinese food for supper last night? Patient said "yes why?" I replied "Looks like one of the noodles came out whole."
Both my colleague and patient say "Yuck". I shrug "Well it's better then a tapeworm".

[shannonRN]

when i worked rehab, we had a frequent flier ms patient. well, we had to disimpact her one evening. after a whole ordeal of turning, position, and digging...another nurse and myself had finished!!! then the patient turned to us and asked, "was it a boy or a girl?" the nurse i was with replied, "a boy." the patient the said, "i thought so, that one was stubborn!!!" but here is the great footnote, the patient was totally alert and oriented.

[fedupnurse]

When I write my book about this wacky hospital where I work, an entire chapter can be dedicated to POOP! We have a phrase "ROS" for river of $hit. That's when it rolls off the end of the bed and onto the floor and keeps on going like a dam that has burst. Frequently occurs during the death dump (which my 5 and 7 year old nephews thought was hysterical!).
My most interesting poop experience had to be a long term patient, vented, tube feeds, blah, blah, blah, had not gone in weeks. I was working days then and I said to the attending "I'm going to clean her out today and told him to write for enema's, Ducolox, balck and whites, anything and everything he could think of and just put until BM at the end of the orders. He complied, with the request that I wait to start until he left the unit for the day.
I go into the room of this poor woman with about 10 chucks and a Fleet's in hand. I turned her on her side and said I'm going to give you an enema now. As I took the cap of the enema this huge brick of stool exited her anus. I don't know how she didn't have major trauma from this rock hard mound of poop. She then proceeded to empty her bowels for the rest of the day. It took 2 of us to lift the initial pad off the bed. I swear that woman lost 20 pounds that day. Even though she was out of it, she had a smile on her face when I left and also didn't have any residual feeds which clearly had been a problem for weeks! See what happens when you aren't properly staffed??? Scary huh?

[gauge14iv]

Before I went to nursing school, I worked nights in a nursing home. One patient - a very elderly confused fellow - had a BM that was perfectly round - about the size of a soccer ball. It was hard and he did quite a bit of cussing while he passed it, but he was always cussing so we didn't think much of it. It was so large that we decided to weigh it just for fun...The turd weighed in at 7 lbs and 11 ounces.

[gauge14iv]

oops