[Rapheal]

I introduce myself to the patient than go back to check the chart. Yep, this is the correct patient- but the nurse forgot to tell me that this elderly female patient had a beard and mustache. Thought she was a gent. lol

First spare minute I got- I gave her a shave.

[z's playa]

You seriously shaved her?

[Diamond Nurse]

I dont know if this is funny or scary but..........I had a new admit left over from day shift. Seems they could not get the TF going.
"we tried everything, 3 different pumps, new bag, everything... it wont even flush. Just waiting for the Dr. to call and see if he wants her in the ER." they stated.
I went to access it and found the end cap from the tubing crammed into the lumen of the catheter... completely occluding it!
let me know if ya wanna hear another one...

[Hellllllo Nurse]

When I was in RN school clinicals, I was assigned to a woman in her twenties who was admitted for acute asthma exacerbation.
(I had already been an LPN for 7 years at the time).


I was listening to the woman's lung sounds and noticed that her belly was awfully big for a petite woman. She then piped up "Can you hear the baby's heart?"

No one had told me this woman was 9 mos pregnant!!

Didn't get the info in report, wasn't written on the report sheet or the kardex. Lovely!

[angelbear]

Good thing I was always in the habit of doing rounds/bed checks first thing as I was not told we had a new admit. This was 50 bed unit on LTC couldnt even find a chart on her it was locked in unit managers office. Very scary.

[RN-PA]

I once went in to examine a patient for the first time. Assessed lungs, heart, abdomen, worked my way down to check for lower extremity edema and pedal pulses only to find when I lifted the covers on the bed that the patient had bilateral AKA's (Above the knee amputations)! The 7-3 nurse neglected to report that minor part of the patient's previous medical history.

[Loribabble]

These aren't funny exactly - but I work on a limited stay/observation unit at a major trauma hospital. I have to admit that I love my job and we have GREAT staffing. There are 2 RN's over night for only 7 pts, low acuity and we have a MA until 1am.



They are always trying to send us total spine pts from the ER - happens all the time - they take 5 people to transport, turn etc - many have made it to the floor because we were specifically told different.

The other was according to the ER report - a totally stable 60y/o with a mod high calcium, what showed up on the unit was a 450 pound woman, non-mobile, completely dehissed midline abdominal incision, with a peg tube, foley and FREQUENTLY incont of stool etc, and no IV access - with a critical calcium level..... UGH!!!!

BTW - this was not intended to bash anyone from the ER - you guys are awesome and I am thankful you are there.... just a couple of bad apples in the bunch

[Dave ARNP]

Not so much in shift report, but.....

When you the nurses give report to the practitioner. PLEASE TELL ME MY PATIENT IS DEAD! It's REALLY when we code a patient who was pronounced about ten minutes ago.

Dave

[angelbear]

Oh please tell me you are kidding. That did not happen.

[Big Bab's]

I had a funny one when I was working as a home health CNA while going thru nursing school.......I was sent to do a bed bath on an 86 year old man in his home bath, blah blah blah.....Well no one told me this man had a HUGE hernia that was all in his scrotum!!!....At that point in my career that was the most major ANYTHING I had ever seen!!!....It honestly looked like he had two sacks of flour down there!!......Well, I pulled myself together and got his bath done and then headed back to the office, when I walked in the door everybody started laughing when they saw the look on my face!!....THIS was my "initiation".........Nice huh?!?....Oh yeah!!...Did I mention they ALSO forgot to tell me that he was a "grabber", I felt soooo molested by the time I left........ick!!!