[wincha]

Originally Posted by viking woman

Just popped in to see what was new on the site and HAD to respond to this thread; especially since Hubby 'picked' a fight with me last night for missing a shift at work!

I recently returned to floor nursing (I am an LPN in a SNF/LTC) at my former place of employment. I have had an injury that affected the number of hours I can comfortably work and I related this to the DON when hired back, so that she would schedule me accordingly. What does she do my first month back? Schedules me 6 days a week! I became stressed, exhausted, sick with the flu and in pain. I called in a couple of times.

The next month it was apparent that I was being 'punished' by my schedule. Minimal hours (not enough to live on) and lousy shifts (I was hired for a specific shift, but willing to cover).

This last week our college age daughter had a medical emergency, Hubby could not leave work to accompany me, so I left to attend to her, got snowed in and yes, I missed another shift!

My point being, I feel very guilty, I have discussed all of these factors with my DON, I hold her partially responsible for her poor scheduling abilities and burning all of our nurses out at this facility! We have had a very high rate of call-in's since I have returned! We are all exhausted. Oddly enough though, our numbers of staff available to work is not low. There are plenty of nurses that we could each have to only work ONE week end a month, yet I worked 3! We are also very 'top' heavy with RN's promoted to desk jobs that never get pulled to cover the floor! That includes the DON.

Needless to say, our morale is in the toilet. What is the solution?

she said she would work with you and did not. i would get a docs note limiting your hours however if she punishes you by no hours or lousy shifts i would find another job and give her notice

[Gompers]

Originally Posted by maralenn

Also, MODERN RNs are different than the RNs of years ago. The RNs of years ago lived in a different economy, when one paycheck per household sufficed and you could take time off to raise your children until they entered school. MODERN RNs must find a way to try to balance work and home, lest they find themselves homeless for not being able to pay the mortgage. There are some lucky RNs who are married to someone who has enough money to carry the household, but not the majority. MODERN RNs are just as dedicated to their workplace as "seasoned" RNs. We are not eager to call in, aloof about our impact on our co-workers, apathetic toward our workplace, etc., but when we are forced to make a choice between our children and our workplace, I think our social obligation to be good parents and our deep love for our children will prevail.

Great post!

I don't think there is anything wrong with making family the priority over work. If and when I have kids, if one of them is very sick, I would most likely call in as well if my husband wasn't able to stay home that day. It doesn't mean that I am not loyal to my job - it just means that I am more loyal to my family. They can always find someone else to take my shift - but I can't find someone else to care for my family member!

We have several nurses that call in when their parents are sick, as well. We don't get upset about it either, that's for sure. Our unit is full of aging nurses and their parents will not be around for long. So if a nurse calls in and just says, "My mom is really sick, I'm taking her to the hospital..." we say, "You take care, okay?" because if we made that nurse feel so guilty that she came in - and her mother ended up passing away - what kind of people would that make us?

Family is the number one priority. Work is after that. The hospital will not collapse if you call in. If you or another member of your family is very sick, then just call in and stop feeling guilty! You will not do your patients any good - and might well cause them harm - if you come in when you are sick or have had no sleep.

[wincha]

Originally Posted by jcgcrna

Your employer hired you not your kids (or husband, truck, animals). You have a duty to those who pay you. Get someone to take care of your other business or take vacation time. I have no empathy for those who carelessly dump on their colleagues for other than true emergencies. Modern RN's have very little loyalty to their fellow nurses or to their institution. Always a sore subject for someone who has been nursing for about 36 years and has called in for real reasoins of personal illness about 2-3 times.
JCGCRNA

[/quote]

that was pretty cold. many companies do recognize sick days for family members. why would you use vacation time when you are sick? you didn't plan it. also you can't just get someone to come to your home when your kids are sick or you can't take them to a daycare when they are sick. your post looks like it is from someone who doesn't have kids are would dose them up with motrin and send them to school anyway to get the entire class sick so you could go to work. if some people are lucky they might have family in town but thats not always the case.

[maralenn]

Not everything is about making money. A good employor knows this. Just because they pay you doesn't mean they should be your top priority, especially when having and raising children. IMO you have more of a duty to take care of your children since they can't take care of themselves. YOU are soley responsible for them where as at work your shift can be covered by someone else. No one else is going to step in and take care of your kids like you would. Obviously the OP didn't just "carelessly dump on her colleagues", but let's think about this... you can always find another job you will never be able to get back the time you don't spend with your children. Everything has a time and place, in my life my kids always take priority over everything. Calling in because your kid is sick I assure you is a very REAL reason. It is people like you who make it harder for parents too get by in the workforce. It's definitly commendable that you have such a good attendance record at work. How would you kids describe you as a parent?[/quote]


YAY JennyLR!!!! Woo-hoo!!!!

[maralenn]

that was pretty cold. many companies do recognize sick days for family members. why would you use vacation time when you are sick? you didn't plan it. also you can't just get someone to come to your home when your kids are sick or you can't take them to a daycare when they are sick. your post looks like it is from someone who doesn't have kids are would dose them up with motrin and send them to school anyway to get the entire class sick so you could go to work. if some people are lucky they might have family in town but thats not always the case.[/quote]

AAAAAMEN, Wincha!!!

[mercyteapot]

[quote=jcgcrna]Your employer hired you not your kids (or husband, truck, animals). You have a duty to those who pay you. Get someone to take care of your other business or take vacation time. I have no empathy for those who carelessly dump on their colleagues for other than true emergencies. Modern RN's have very little loyalty to their fellow nurses or to their institution. Always a sore subject for someone who has been nursing for about 36 years and has called in for real reasoins of personal illness about 2-3 times.
JCGCRNA

I don't understand what difference you think it makes whether she took a sick day or a vacation day (as you are advocating). Her shift would still need to be covered. What possible advantage is there to the rest of the employees in her using a vacation day imappropriately rather than a sick day appropriately??? As far as only calling off for personal illness 2-3 times in 36 years, I wonder how often you worked just ill enough to be contagious (as, in my own experience, most people with near perfect attendance do). If you are one of those blessed with remarkable health, you should be grateful, but also realistic enough to know that we wouldn't be given a certain number of sick days in the first place if it wasn't anticipated that they'd be needed.

[ADONLTC]

I work as a DON in a moderately sized nursing home (140 residents) I have 3 nursing units, staffed with a RN nurse manager, LPNs and CNAs. I found this thread interesting for a number of reasons. In the 5 months I have been in this job, staffing and staffing issues seem to take up most of my time. I am constantly amazed at the excuses that people use when they call in sick. Recent excuses:

· A LPN who called in, telling the supervisor that she was sick, but then told her coworkers that she had a wild weekend of sex with her boyfriend and that she was too tired to come to work.

· A CNA who called in because he had to take his wife to the Emergency room. Actually, he was at a party and didn’t want to come to work. How did we know? The supervisor called the ED and they had never heard of him. His coworker told me that he was at the same party.

· A CNA, when being counseled for being constantly tardy, said that he was late because the speed limit on the road he came to work on dropped from 55 to 35 (and had for years) and it was slowing him down. It never occurred to him that maybe he should leave for work earlier.

· One CNA didn’t like the idea of being written up for attendance because “her son was sick.” She forgot to mention the 5 other times she called in because she “just couldn’t get out of bed.”

· A CNA who told me that "well, when I come to work I’m a great worker."

· A CNA who no called, no showed because she "forgot" she was scheduled, even though she had told the scheduler the day before that she was working.

Cotjocky stated that she “called in sick simply because I didn't feel like going in. There were just a few times that I needed a mental health day.” What she did was make her co-workers pick up her slack. The idea of a “mental health day” is bogus. Calling in because you “don’t feel like going in” is childish and immature. An adult take responsibility for being at work, even if you “don’t feel like it.” If one of my staff needs a day off I would rather they come to me, sit down and work out a scheduled day off that works for both of us.

The OP says that she called in because she was taking care of sick kids and was too tried to work due to lack of sleep. I have to ask, why didn’t your husband stay home and take care of the kids? When my children were young, my wife and I split the duties. I would stay home one day and she would stay home the next. I tell the staff who work in the nursing department that they need to find back up babysitters (yes, I know, not always easy), but ultimately, their attendance is their responsibility.

Viking woman holds her DON “partially responsible for her poor scheduling abilities and burning all of our nurses out at this facility!” Did she ever stop to ask why the nurses were being burned out? Is it possible that the call ins are to blame? Has she ever sat down with her DON and worked out a schedule?

When I hire people, I tell them that I have only 3 expectations of them: They come to work, they be there on time and they do their job when they get there. You can be the best nurse, the best nursing assistant, the best at what you do, but if you are not coming to work, you are useless.

As the DON, I have to balance the needs of the staff with the needs of the residents. I do understand that emergencies happen. Kids get sick, cars break down, life happens. I would like to know, however, why these “happens” always seem to happen to the same staff people. I can accept the occasional call in. I cannot accept those who call in for the least little thing.

[wincha]

The OP says that she called in because she was taking care of sick kids and was too tried to work due to lack of sleep. I have to ask, why didn’t your husband stay home and take care of the kids? When my children were young, my wife and I split the duties. I would stay home one day and she would stay home the next. I tell the staff who work in the nursing department that they need to find back up babysitters (yes, I know, not always easy), but ultimately, their attendance is their responsibility. >>

I'll reply to this one. If I worked full time my husband would still make more than twice my salary. I am going to work full time and expect him to help out some when the kids are sick(luckily not often) but this is when he doesn't have meetings scheduled. He doesn't work 8 hour shifts actually when he is in his busy season he works 16 plus hour days and there are many other times of the years he puts in alot of hours. . When I had a child that had a severe illness I had to take a 4 month leave off of work years ago. My husband is a professional and has clients that he sees and cannot cancel because his children are sick. He rarely takes off if he is sick. If he can walk out that door he will go to work. I have gone to work wheezing with bronchitus. My job doesn't care. I get it the poster is a male nurse and maybe his wife has a flexible job. My husband is the breadwinner so thats why when my kids were young I worked very part time in the evening. Now that my youngest is in school all day I am getting a full time job. I also have teenagers that might be able to help out on spring break and summer vacation. Many companies do recognize sick days for the family including the children or even parents some nurses are now taking care of.

[ADONLTC]

Wincha states: If I worked full time my husband would still make more than twice my salary.
So, does that mean that your job isn't as important as your husbands? I have been the "breadwinner" in my family, but my wifes job was just as important to her as mine was.

Wincha states: When I had a child that had a severe illness I had to take a 4 month leave off of work years ago.
There is a big difference between taking a 4 month leave of absence and calling in sick everytime your child is sick, instead of yoiur husband taking the time off

Wincha states: My husband is a professional and has clients that he sees and cannot cancel because his children are sick.
Does that mean that you are NOT a professional and you should be able to call in?

Wincha states: I get it the poster is a male nurse and maybe his wife has a flexible job.
Actually, when my youngest was 7 we could work it out that my wife could stay home full time. But before that happened, I still split the time with my wife. Im also the one who got up in the middle of the night with sick kids (my wife is not a nurse - cant stand sick people)

Wincha states: Many companies do recognize sick days for the family including the children or even parents some nurses are now taking care of.
I have no problems with staff occasionally calling in for a sick child and I certainly let the staff use sick time (persoanl time) to care for them. I have a real issue with the expectation that the women are the only ones to do it. and I have VERY BIG issues with staff that use it as an excuse.

And BTW, are you considered a "female" nurse? Im a nurse, who happens to be male, not a "male nurse".

[Lisa CCU RN]

Originally Posted by jcgcrna

Your employer hired you not your kids (or husband, truck, animals). You have a duty to those who pay you. Get someone to take care of your other business or take vacation time. I have no empathy for those who carelessly dump on their colleagues for other than true emergencies. Modern RN's have very little loyalty to their fellow nurses or to their institution. Always a sore subject for someone who has been nursing for about 36 years and has called in for real reasoins of personal illness about 2-3 times.
JCGCRNA

Has anyone else called in sick when their children were sick? I work night shift on a very busy cardiac step down unit. My 7 year old had a fever of 102.6 when I went to work. My husband was given a medication schedule for the Tylenol and motrin. When I returned from work in the morning, my husband told me the children had a 2 hour delay from school due to snow Despite the fact he an important meeting, he rearranged his schedule so I could take a shower and go to bed with my sick son and try to get some sleep. Half way through my shower he informed me the 2 hour delay was now a cancelled school day. I told my hubby to just go to work. The few hours he had arranged for me to sleep was not going to happen with 2 very excited kids who wanted to play in the snow. I now have three children staying home from school. I was so worried about not being able to get the sleep I needed before the next shift I called in sick. I have NEVER called in sick unless I was truely sick. I have been feeling sick to my stomach ever since.

Please tell me some of you have used your sick days for family sick days and that management didn't punish you for it. I have to go into work tonight and know I don't look sick...the guilt is just killing me....

P.S. I called in 8 hours before my shift started. I tried to give as much notice as possible..I do hope they found a replacement

[/quote]
You're 61. You'd think you'd be wiser than this.

We (I'm referring to modern RN's ) live in a totally different world. You can't keep your kids from getting sick and you can't expect safe patient care from someone who has not slept for 48 hours.

Employers have options to provide adequate staffing--it's called AGENCY.

If you pay workers, you should be smart enough to realize that people don't run on D batteries and we don't have perfect kids that don't get sick.

There rarely is a place that watches sick kids.