[ferfer]

I am in the last few months of school before I become an RN. Last night I found myself balling for no apparant reason and noticed it's a pattern lately. I do not know if it is burnout or what. I am almost there and yet I feel as though I have already exhausted all my energy and there is nothing much left to give to finish. I am soooooo tired of being tired, of feeling so utterly exhausted that I am now a raving caffeine addict (cardiac arrythmias and all to go with it). I am so tired of never seeing my daughter and my fiancee, and trying to explain to this 3 year old why I am not there for her- breaks my heart! I am so tired of being put-down by instructors that seem to thrive off of degrading people and slowly wittling away their only shreds of self-concept. That, along with the BS instructors that you have to kiss a** just to pass. I feel like this has just become too much. I have NO life outside of nursing and my GOD, I just want this to be over already. Thank you for letting me vent as nobody understands the way someone that has been through it could!

[orrnlori]

You're in you last few months, you're almost home. Don't give up, the hardest is behind you. I predict you'll get that nearing-the-finish-line ooomph very soon. I know you are tired. My last semester I had a calendar taped to the inside of my notebook and I was known for being able to give anyone in the class the number of days and hours we had left, each day was carefully marked with that info. As each day passed, I marked it out. It became exhilerating to mark through each day, that much closer to being done!!!!!! You'll be full time with your daughter and fiance in a few months. They've made it through it and so can you.

[suzanne4]

Remember what it was like when you were looking towards moving from 6th grade to 7th grade? You get quite nervous abou tleaving one world and going into another. PLUS you have unfortunately had the instructors for H***. I remember one teacher in particular. Actually had her for my first term, and if I ever would have had her again, I would have been out of there in a blink. You have made it through the worst of it, and in a few months, there will be nothing they can do it. It will just be you and your exams, then you get your wings!
Mark the days off on a calendar like suggested above, think of it as beginning the vavtion of your dreams. We know that you can do it..................

[canoehead]

This too, will pass.

I think we've all been there to some extent, but in the moment it seems like you will never be able to endure and reach your goal. My heart goes out to you.

I got through those times in my life by getting through small things and not thinking about ALL that had to be done. So just get up and go to that one class, and then see if you can find it in yourself to get through the next. After class, see if you have the energy to try and start the next task...always knowing a break is on the way. You CAN quit....but that would be such a waste of all you've come through...how could you justify that to yourself.

Plan your time to play with your daughter and savor those moments. This is a team effort, and think how proud she will be in years to come knowing she was such a vital part of the team helping Mom through school. Tell her that the time with her was what motivated you to work so hard, and she will understand. Because you KNOW that after you finish these few months the two of you are going to take a break and just go to parks,play together, and be the best family ever.

I think your fiance needs to do nothing but support you right now, as he knows the long term rewards coming. Sorry, no sympathy for him, tell him to get on the team and start pulling (in your best Dr. Phil voice!)

[ferfer]

Thank you already for your encouraging replies. I do not ever plan on quitting, after all I am this far! But I just needed to have a moment where I could vent about how much I hate this right now. Just wanted to re-afirm if this was normal or typical behavior for a student in my position? Just want to make sure this is STRESS and not an actual depression going on here.

I so much appreciate your encouragement as it will help me to get through it!

[Tweety]

Yes, it's absolutely normal. Nursing school was my life and it exhausted me until I could only put one foot in front of the other. I know exactly what you mean.

Best wishes and hang in there.

[canoehead]

Normal. Absolutely.

[lynn27]

Hi Ferfer...totally normal behavior! But some things will carry over to when you are finished with nursing school--you will always check out other people's veins when standing in checkout lines!

[lynn27]

On a more serious note...I know it is so hard for you right now. Try to hang in there as best you can and keep focusing on your future. I felt just like you do and I was so frustrated and tired of jumping through the hoops that when the time came for commencement--I simply didn't go. My reasoning--well, they can't MAKE me do anything ANYMORE and I don't want to deal with instructors that weren't fair to some of the other students (most notably the older, returning students). I now wish that I had gone just to see my fellow nursing students one last time (especially for a happy occasion). When you look back on these last months, it will seem like a blur (or just a bad dream) and you will wonder how you did it but you will be so very happy that you did! I am already looking forward to your post stating that you passed the NCLEX and are ready to start your dream career!

[traumaRUs]

Good luck. Above posters are right - this is normal and it will pass. Take care and good luck.!