[Elenaster]

I was inspired by the looonngggg "you know you're a nurse if..." thread on the Nursing Humor forum, and thought we could do one based on our specialty. Here's a few I came up with and please feel free to add on!

You know you're a Neuro nurse if:

Your favorite patient is a GCS=3 and an orphan.

Along with standing orders for Dilantin and Decadron, you also have orders for restraints and Propofol.

If anyone in your family hits their head, the first thing you do is grab a penlight and check their pupils.

Every time you get a bad headache, you're sure you've either had an aneurysm rupture or have got a brain tumor.

You've ever referred to visiting hours as "inspection."

You give out points for creativity on patients that find new ways to swear at you.

You've ever had a patient proposition you or make sexually explicit comments right in front of his 80-year-old grandmother.

You've given a patient a 6 on motor (follows commands) when they stuck up both of their middle fingers at you when you asked them to "hold up two fingers."

You've heard your unit referred to as the "vegetable patch."

You wish you had a dollar for everytime you've heard from another nurse, "Neuro! I HATE neuro!"

[gwenith]

You are living "Survivor Intubation" and that means that the !#@# Propofol and restraints do NOT come off until the consultant is actually in the unit - no matter how many times the new resident tells you it is safe to turn it off at 0600!!!

You have ever had a patient write down the answers to "what day is it? and Where are you?" on the bottom of the tissue box and then catch them checking the answers

You have ever spent an entire shift saying "you are in hospital - you had an accident"


I'll think of some more and post them later

[Elenaster]

Good ones Gwenith!

How about (this is really awful):

You and your co-workers are going to write a book entitled, "How to successfully shoot yourself in the head," including tips on why blowing off your face is bad, reasons not to use a shotgun, and why shooting out your frontal lobe will make you a huge burden to your family.

[suzanne4]

When the residents come in for early rounds in the morning, still on night shift, they are asking the patient what is the date, aand they are all checking their watches..............

First sentence in report is when the pt pooped last....................

[jnette]

Great thread.......... these are cute !

I could think of some doozies specific to Dialysis, too ...

[bellehill]

When you judge craniotomy scars on their "coolness"

You applaude your patients who puke and miss their Miami J collar

Your patient says, "Haven't you figured out the date yet, I have been telling you all day long."

You can peg a pseudoseizure in 10 seconds

[gwenith]

You have ever gone to assess you patient only to find them sitting up in bed arms crossed saying

"My name is John Smith It is Tuesday the 20th April and I am in Woop Woop Hospital - now have you got any OTHER questions???"

[NeuroICURN]

OMG guys....I almost peed myself reading those!

I've had more than one patient flip off me and the docs when asked to hold up two fingers! LOL

And I swear I love that look that other RNs give you when you tell them you work neuro....and actually like it!

[my2sons]

...when you've suctioned brain out of someone's nose with a Yankauer. And re-applied a moustache dressing for visiting hours. ugh. sorry so gross.

[elkpark]

How about (this is really awful):

You and your co-workers are going to write a book entitled, "How to successfully shoot yourself in the head," including tips on why blowing off your face is bad, reasons not to use a shotgun, and why shooting out your frontal lobe will make you a huge burden to your family.

Not neuro, but in the neighborhood: I've spent years trying to convince the rest of the psych nursing community that we should develop a series of Public Service Announcements for TV and radio on "Ways You Should Not Bother Trying to Kill Yourself, Because They Won't Work" ...