[Franemtnurse]

Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are going dead? Duh? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiotic moron?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you!!

[Chaya]

[EricEnfermero]

Those are hilarious, Fran. Now that you mention it, I think I may have actually done the vacuum cleaner thing. Shhh...

[underpaidrn]

I love these! I KNOW I've done the vacuum cleaner thingie. I have a Cockatiel and he leaves little feathers everywhere. Rather than try and pick them up by hand and throw them out, I run the vacuum over them incessantly until they finally get sucked up. Of course, in the time it takes me to do this, I could have picked them up, thrown them out and moved on to something else. Oh well

[danissa]

Oh Fran...you made me laugh out loud honey! This is soooo funny am printing it off now to stick in our wee girls room at work. Hilarious observations...and so true!!

[Murseintraining78]

Oh man did I need a good laugh today!!!! Thank you so much!!!!

[VivaLasViejas]

I've done the vacuum cleaner thing. And the remote thing. AND the refrigerator thing.

Too funny, Fran!!

[karlita]

These were fantastic! Thanks for sharing and making my day!

[earle58]

i LOVED, "why is there an "s" in lisp"?

don't know why, but it tickled my funny bone.
thank you, fran.
great questions.

leslie

[pagandeva2000]

I was always trying to figure out why they used sterile needles for lethal injections myself...