[k7w4lpn]

Has anyone ever 'lanced' an infected sebaceous cyst?? I assisted my charge nurse when we discovered one the size of a half-dollar on this woman's chest (at the nursing home we work at). She wiped it down with betadine & alcohol, then made a tiny opening in it with a 19g needle. We each pushed from opposite sides, and the stuff came out with such force & so much that it hit the wall & wardrobe closet across the room!! It looked like a crime scene!!! NASTY!!!!!!! I retched the whole time!!!!!...And I thought loogies were bad enough...............lol

[TheLionessRN]

Oh, how lucky I feel right now, because I have so many wonderful, gross stories. I think one of the most unique gross things that I have ever dealt with was the 750# man. To begin with, this patient was only in his late 30s. He had come to our hospital the prior week, and was there for about 2 days, and was discharged quickly only because our resident "Dr. Admit" had gone on vacation and the doc that covered for him cleaned house the very next day. Other than his size, this man was not very nice. He had a bad attitude, and went out of his way to be difficult for all of the staff. One morning, during that first admission, he decided to haul himself up from his bari-bed and walk to the bathroom himself---God only knows how he did this. He was discovered at shift change, first thing in the morning, laying on his face, like a beached whale on the bathroom floor. It took 8 people and over an hour to get him off the floor and back into bed.
Anyway, the following week this patient was brought back in sometime in the middle of the night. The EMTs had to just put him on a tarp and remove the stretcher and put him on the floor of the rig. They somehow got him into a regular hospital bed (that has never worked since then) and left him there, on this big tarp. The night nurse left him there, which is another story in itself, and I had the blessed luck of being his nurse that day. Our first job was to get him a bari-bed on a Saturday, and to actually get him out of the bed and standing. It only took 4 people to get him up and out of the bed, and we pushed a bed long ways against a wall for him to use as a prop until we could get his bed. He had to stand there until the big bed arrived. The man had not had a bath in at least over a week. We had an order to put a foley in him, but, I swear to you all, no one could find his penis. We put a wash basin on the floor with lots of towels around it and told him to just let go. He then reported having had a bowel movement, and, since I was his lucky nurse, I was the one to clean him up. I had to actually dig to find his rectum, and went in almost to my elbow between his cheeks. There were two people on either side of him, keeping him steady and helping me while I dressed some wounds on the backs of his thighs. He needed to be washed down in the process, so I was on my knees behind this 750# man when he passed a large puff of gas. LOL, if you can imagine this, I fell backward on my rear end like I had been pushed, and the two people holding his arms both stepped away from him like someone had pulled a string. It was all we could do to keep a straight face all that morning, and of course, I was the "butt" of a great deal of jokes that day.

[ccrn]

I was working med/surg one night and I walked into my patient's room just in time to find him holding his urinal (filled with urine) up to his lips like a mug of beer and taking a big swig. I guess he was really thirsty....he drank the whole thing!

[KayleighRN]

Your story had me rolling! sorry for your misfortune..
I thought a pt I had was huge at 5' and 412#. I was told she had a foley in report.. Well, when I went to wash her, I couldn't find where it had been put in! It was like the tube went into an abyss of fat. I had to go get two other nurses to hold the fat on her legs back to check out the situation!!

[dianser]

I, too, work in long term care. Prior to doing CBGs in the mornings I carefully observed where the hand I want to prick is. It seems the one that is closest to me is the hand that is in the crotch...women and men!
My other story is of a demented lady. She always ate breakfast in her room. She usually had a BM after breakfast. Sounds normal doesn't it? Well, she had a habit of "digging herself out". If her tray was still in the room she would leave a special "tip" for the kitchen help in her ceral bowl and then carefully cover it up with a saucer!

[Enabled]

I have come to believe that every work situation has it Yuckies. I found the hardest task was to disimpact someone. I was given the lovely task on an admission. I thought when I had about 5lbs out it would do it. They xrayed the little old lady and she was still f ull. She couldn't have gone in a month. I couldn't do any more so ome of my colleagues rescued me. I had a fellow RN to BSN nursing student say that she would help the tech with one patient as it was a 'sacrifice' for her to do it. What if there wasn't a tech. During my first nursing assignment back in the days of Fred Flinstone which I know some of you remember I had a patient next to the station that had been yelling that there was someone in her room. We explained it as the drapes and had them removed as it was such an issue. Well she continued yelling through the weekend and then around 4a Monday morning I realized it was quiet. Your right she yelled herself to death. I have found that some of the older amputees particularly the 90 year old bilateral ones are sure spry in getting over those handle bars.

[sunnygirl272]

Originally posted by KayleighRN
Your story had me rolling! sorry for your misfortune..
I thought a pt I had was huge at 5' and 412#. I was told she had a foley in report.. Well, when I went to wash her, I couldn't find where it had been put in! It was like the tube went into an abyss of fat. I had to go get two other nurses to hold the fat on her legs back to check out the situation!!

i also have the obese client with a catheter story...had a home care client..it took 2 of us to do her cath change..with her sitting in her recliner....she would hold up her own belly...the other nurse would hold apart her inner thigh wings...(oh yeah...you know those kind of thighs...) and me kneeling on the nasty floor, feeding it in blind...got it everytime...oh..yeah...she was a noncompliant diabetic with chronic yeast infection...cottage cheese crawling down those thighs...

[ERNurse752]

"...cottage cheese crawling down those thighs..."

You don't know how glad I am that I'm not eating cottage cheese for breakfast right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[VivaLasViejas]

Here's from the LTC archives........One night a couple of hours after I'd done the shift assessment on a (supposedly) A & O SNF admit, the CNA brought me a napkin which held what appeared to be a few malted milk balls, but on closer inspection turned out to be four small, rock hard stools. "You're not gonna believe where I found these," she said. "They were lined up on Mr. Smith's bed table." Well, I'd certainly seen s**t before, but I just had to find out what had possessed this seemingly "with-it" gentleman to deal with it this way. When I asked him, however, he just shrugged, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and said "There wasn't any other place to put it". Well, there was no way I could argue against that kind of logic......but eeewwwww!

[teeituptom]

howdy yall
from deep in the heat of texas

Maybe he was getting ready to shoot marbles