[LatteGuzzler]

During a wild trauma thrash about 20 years ago, a resident kept running around the gurney pumping up the pressure bags on the blood to make them run faster. I warned him that he was pumping the pressure bags into the little "red zone' that appeared on the attached dial. He ignored me. Suddenly a blood bag on an IV pole above me burst explosively. It was like the scene from "Carrie" . I had to continue on through the thrash, covered with, and sliding around in blood.

ps: I am awed by some of your stories. I thought I had heard it all when it came to gross, but you guys take the cake.

[pollux]

I was taking care of a young chronic child on our unit. She was vomiting a lot and we tried everything to convince the surgeon to do a fundo on her without succes. One afternoon, I was helping a colleegue to turn her. She had finished her gavage more than an hrs ago so it was safe. As we turned her around she started to vomit.... a projectile type of vomiting!! I shouted to my collegue to watch out, she turned her faster and my mouth wide open became a recipient for that emisis. I had no sympathy from my colleegue , she just bursted into a laugh... Oh well...... By the way , no I did not vomit but I felt nauseated for a while lolllll

[dedjames]

Yep there are some really great gross-out stories. Just the sort that are fun to tell in the crowded restuarant early in the morninga after a long night shift :-)

Mine is from many years ago when I was working in a Burn ICU. My patient was a severe burn, tubed, ventilated, on pressors and in a RotoRest bed to stave off ARDS. If you ever worked with one of those beds (do they still use them? Never sure that they actually worked) they have access panels/doors on the bottom of the bed to get to the patient so you didn't have to disassemble the bed or take them out of rotation. A colleague had just helped me do dressings on the man and we were cleaning up when the sure sound and smell of a Jevity-built Plastipoop struck us. I rorated the man over and crawled under the bed, took down the butt-hatch and cleand him up. I was covering the pad with a Chux, preparing to close it back up when he let go again... While I was still under the bed... Under the hatch. Sure enough he let go his load right on my head.

The men's locker room didn't have a shower, so I had to use the women's. The whole time I was showering my darling colleagues kept poking their noses into the locker room to ask me if I'd hurry up 'cause they needed my help to clean up a patient.

HaHa

Just one more story in the Naked Hospital.

[monkijr]

[quote]Originally posted by Stud Muffin
[however he didn't realise there was a lid on it and he hoiked the biggest golly onto the lid that you've ever seen. I yelled at him that there is a lid on the cup and he promply sucked up the golly, took the lid off and spat it into the cup.

STUD MUFFIN, POOR THING!!!! YOU WIN, FOR GROSS!!!!!!
OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!! I CAN HANDLE ANYTHING, BLOOD, VOMIT, GUTS, I GAGGGED READING THIS. I HATE SPUTUM!!!!! WHERE IS THE VOMITTING SMILEY FACE.

[nerdse]

Yuck.....have had all sorts of stuff like this and more but a lot of the gross stuff happened in OB, how did you OB sorts miss out....I didn't. OB's must get that way from what they do but they really act ugly sometimes. One of them liked to wipe his snotty nose on the nursery nurse's scrubs so she had to change... but one of the not quite so gross but still good ones -- a nervous new dad makes the mistake of walking into the unlocked doctor's dressing room instead of the dad's dressing room and falls right over the married doc doing some 'comparison shopping' with his office nurse right at THE MOMENT....and the idiot yells at the new dad and it was his wife's OB. Not physically gross but definitely makes you sick... if you are going to philander, be a bit discreet; at least lock the door. I hope that OB got a little, shall we say, "bone trouble" out of that one. He had it, er, coming....

[foresteif]

I think the grossest thing that has ever happened to me as a nurse has got to have happened about 20 years ago when I first started working at a nursing home. I had a female elderly patient that would eat ANYTHING, we had to be very careful what we left near her as it would inevitably end up in her mouth..... one afternoon one of the CNAs I was working with called me into her room .................. there was something strange hanging out of her rectum... it took a few for us to figure out exactly what it was, it turned out to be an entire pair of pantyhose!! (not to mention all the feces mixed up in them) To this day I have no idea how this little old lady managed to swallow this item without choking to death... the really gross part of this story was our attempts to dislodge said item, eventually (Thank goodness) successful.

[Tinaboo]

Tough job nurses hav eh.

[birder101]

oh my gosh. the peanut butter sandwich in the vag...a is great. What a hoot. I thing that is even funnier than the nursing home porn star. obviously, these two need to get together.

[Nurse K-Bear]

when I was working as a Nurse Extern while in school, I was answering a call light. The patient said he dropped his emesis basin and needed it. I went to pick it up off the floor for him (no time to run down the hall for a new one) yup you guessed it he proceeded to puke all over my head. I then ran into the patients bathroom and tried to wash my hair and puked in the sink. My coworkers said I was baptized into nursing and if I wanted to re-evaluate my career choice now would be the time.
I now make sure all post op patients have their emesis basin, and if I think they are going to puke a lot I make sure their larger basin is handy as well!
This thread has made my day!!

[galenight]

I've got two only moderately gross stories in comparison with these others:

One day while doing my LPN clinicals (I'm now an RN) we were in the nursing home. I had to care for a lady who had a glass eye. She mentioned that it needed cleaning, so I went looking for my instructor to give me some pointers. When I couldn't immediately find her I went to tell her it would be a few minutes. She said, Oh I don't need you to do it, I can do it myself. She then proceeded to remove the eye, pop it into her mouth.. rolled it around a bit (I'm paralyzed and speechless.. a rarity for me), then popped it right back in!!! EWWW

Once while a new nurse, I was in a room with two aides cleaning up an elderly gentleman. He wouldn't bear weight so one fo the aides and I were holding him up while the other was cleaning his very poopy bottom. As is typical when you are cleaning someone up it was hotter than hades in there, so the aide that was cleaning wiped her brow and cheek of sweat. At the very moment she was through the other aide and I noticed a large smear of stool across one cheek. Now, I don't know about you but when something is so hysterically funny that I'm laughing so hard I can't talk, and neither could my helper. We just laughed and laughed we thought we were gonna lose our hold on this guy. And the aide kept saying what is so funny... oh my god.. I cannot to this day look at her without flahsbacks of her with a poppy cheek!