[LasVegasRN]

Originally posted by Grace Oz
They "nitpick" all the fiction in a medical/ nursing/hospital, drama on TV movies!

Oh my God. I used to cringe everytime someone went into a "coma" on the Young and the Restless. It never failed. The person would be laying there with a nasal cannula and a big a$$ ventilator on the side of the bed just puffing away. On one episode they FINALLY got it right and had an ET tube in the person's mouth, but then they TALKED.

[Nurse_KBE]

wow!....u people are great!!...keep the jokes coming and let's face nursing in a funny & happy way rather than a serious one!..hehhehehehehhe....

[nurseratchett29]

You know you're a nurse when you covet those free pens that the drug reps hand out and actually casually pocket them when they're left lying around by some unsuspecting co-worker. OKAY, I CONFESS, I'M THE ONE WHO KEEPS ON STEALING YOUR PENS. I CAN'T HELP MY SELF, IT' A COMPULSION,AN ADDICTION, A FETISH.

[RNConnieF]

At lunch today we sat around the table discussing how we just suctioned tuna (yes, tuna fish) from room 10's ET tube. Our NM was kind enough to supply lunch today as a reward. What was the lunch you ask? Yup, tuna sandawiches. Did we even flinch? Nope, we're nurses.

As a night shift worker one night we decided to have sundaes as a treat. We all brought a little something (but no one remembered bowls) so guess we used clean emesis basins.. You know your a nurse when...

[NurseAngie]

Originally posted by kathkrn
These are some of hte favs from the ER that I work at:

-Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal
-You like to spend the holidays with your friends at work.
-You believe that a good tape job will fix anything.
-Your idea of a good time is a full arrest at shift change.
-You believe in a serial spraying of Prozac.
-You encourage an obxious patient to sign himself out so you don't have to deal with him.
-Your diet consists of foods that have gone through more processing than most computers.
-You say to yourself "Great veins" as you pass by perfect strangers.
-You want to hold a seminar entitled "Suicide...doing it right."
-You believe that "stupid" should be a diagnosis.
-You think caffiene should come in IV form.
-You enjoy restraining someone, and it is not for sex.
-Your bladder expands to the size of a Winnebago's water tank.
-Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard.
-You get an irrestiable urge to wolf down your food in less than 3 minutes, even when you are at a nice restaurant.
-You have referred to subcutaneous emphysema air as "Rice Krispies".
-You've held a 14 gauge needle over someone's vein and remarked "There's only going to be a little pain-this will only hurt for a second."
-You are the only one at the dinner table NOT allowed to talk about your day at work.
-Your life motto is "If it is wet, sticky and not yours, don't touch it."
-You've sworn that you are going to have "No Code" tattoed to your chest.
-Your family members have a fever of 105, a dismemberment of a limb and active vleeding before you give them any sympathy.
-You believe every patient needs TLC: thorazine, Lorazapam, and Compazine
-You hope there's a special place in Hell for the inventor of the call light
-You have a tendency to laugh at your patients "big" problem
-Your sense of humor seems more "warped" each year
-You think pizza, cookies, and a coke make a balanced meal
-You believe that saying "It can't get worse: causes it to get worse just to show you it can (Same lines of never say "quiet, not busy or, God forbid, SLOW")
-You have ever wolfed down a sandwich while emptying your bladder (And considered it your break)
-You have a recurring nightmare of being hit & run over by the portable x-ray machine
-You have ever had a patient say, "I'm not pregnant, I can't be pregnant! I can't be having a baby!" (While looking at their ultrasound showing them to be 39.4 weeks pregnant and having a contraction!!)
-You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level (we call it 'alco-lotto at our emerg)
-You believe the ER waiting room should have a Valium salt lick
-You know it's a full moon without looking at the sky
-You have ever had to deal with someone who thinks being constipated for 4 hrs is an emergency
You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley....
-You believe not all patients are annoying, some are unconscious
-You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock.....
-You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse
-Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them on you
-You can intubate your friends at parties
-You don't get excited about blood unless it's your own
-You live by the motto, " to be right is only half the battle, to convince the physician is more difficult."
-You've basted your thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe
-You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help
-Eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly normal
-You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during break, sitting up and not be embarrsased when you wake up
-You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off

ROCK ON! Especially about stupid ought to be a legitimate diagnosis!!!!


~Angie

[dianah]

My kids (11 and 13, boys) automatically show me the tissue after they've blown their nose.
And, when they c/o pain, they also automatically say, "Mom, I have a stomachache, it's a 6; no, I don't feel like I have to throw up. Yes, I just did try to go poop. It might be hungry pain. Oh! I tooted! (that's fart, at our house) I feel better now!"
Great posts, all you nurses and etc's!! -- D

[shanaRN]

-you are a nurse when you share stories about your patient you had last night that had a toilet bowl, (yes, a toilet bowl brush) stuck in his a$$, bristle side up. If only you could steal a copy of his x-rays.

-.....your husband swears you are a thief when you empty your pockets when you get home from work.

-.....you can disimpact and wipe the a$$ of your 91 yo pt then go on lunch break.......you think mint oil smells really good on the inside of the mask you're wearing for the job.

-....you can pick out the different foods in the OD's gastric contents you're lavaging. MMMMMMMM, spaghetti, peas and carrots!

[chrisrob]

so great to read these nurses throughout the world must be the same i have kids who dont throw up they vomit tummy ache is abdo pain indigetion is chest pain its great isn't it. and yes i'v woken up to the alarm in the morning thinking it was my crash bleep

[chrisrob]

another one a friend of mine a nurse whos husband is a docter her 7 year old son vomited coffee ground vomit thinking as you would stomach bleed she rushed him to the doc where her son promptly told the doc he had a nose bleed applied digital presuure himself and had probably swallowed some blood did she feel an idiot