[betts]

* Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.

* Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best three years of your life.

* Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's all fun and games until someone loses their 'nads.

* Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong water stain remover.

* Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry knowledge into lucrative "home pharmaceuticals" business.

* If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.

* Boring lecture? Start a wave!

* College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1 delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.

* "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except at state colleges.

* Remember - almost no one complains when you puke in a dumpster.

* Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page senior essay.

* Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.

* Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor -- think of it as "acing Micro- Biology."

* In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.

[prmenrs]

You come up with the best stuff!! Thanks!