[Daywalker]

Originally Posted by oncnursemsn

BTW, what is "car surfing?"

Car surfing is when someone rides on the roof of a car while a "friend" drives like a maniac, and other "friends" tape the event.

[Elvish]

Originally Posted by Daywalker

Car surfing is when someone rides on the roof of a car while a "friend" drives like a maniac, and other "friends" tape the event.

Some friends.

[Parade]

Oh man, these are just a few I've learned as a UNIT CLERK.


Just because someone dares you to insert the handle of a wooden kitchen spoon into your penis doesn't mean that you are obligated to...and you definitely shouldn't.

If your boyfriend has a genital piercing and you are on your period, do NOT forgot this tiny fact and try to have sex anyway while your tampon is still in place. You won't find it amusing, but the staff sure will.

When angry because the ER doctor refused to write you a script for narcs (which you requested by proper pharmaceutical name), don't take your shoe off and proceed to stick it in the elevator and wait for the door to close. Seriously, the narcs are not worth it!

When someone in the hospital has called to inform you that your girlfriend has been stabbed in the abdomen, your reply probably shouldn't be "Which girlfriend?"

When 8 months pregnant, do not ride on the back of your new boyfriends crotch rocket, especially if you aren't going to bother to wear a helmet. And after you make it to the ER, don't tell them that the reason you didn't wear the helmet was because it would mess up your hair.

Four asprin and a wine cooler does not constitute an overdose, and will not win your ex-girlfriend back.

Raccoons are not domestic animals, and should not be treated as such.


Oh, the things I see in patient records...

OH WAIT, BEST ONE!

When angry because you've been sitting in the ER waiting room for 5 hours just to try and get a work excuse because you'd rather have a 3-day weekend to spend drinking in Mexico, it's not advisable to vent your anger by throwing lukewarm coffee on the Unit Clerk. She'll get revenge.

[bagladyrn]

Originally Posted by zoeboboey

Woo, don't blame you.



YOW.

Then again I am a very pale resident of Maine but I've done some stupid non-SPF stuff in my day. Like sun poisoning in April while spring skiing, my eyes were swollen totally shut, my face was puffed out to "here", and I was sick as a dog.

I've also done the "lay on the beach all day because my friends do it and get brown" thing. Course I was much younger and the sun was a little kinder then too. Still - I preferred to laughed at for being BEET RED than for being PALE AS A GHOST.

Kids are dum eh?

Have done the same thing myself but fell asleep on the beach - face down. Ended up with large blisters from the neck to my feet. You'd think someone might have noticed the red hair and (formerly) fish belly white skin and at least woke me up to burn the other side!
I've also discovered the hard way that the thinner air at altitude can lead to burns even when one wouldn't expect it (wearing suncsreen), that one can get a burn on their calves from reflected sunlight off rocks while hiking and that you should never drive across the desert with one elbow hanging out the open window of your truck - leads to a very strange version of "trucker's tan" and difficulty bending that arm for several days.

[rph3664]

Originally Posted by Kristyn, RN

Don't expect the nurse to feel sorry for you when you complain about the horrible taste of the lactulose we need you to drink to prevent hepatic encephalopathy.

To quote Nurse Ratched: "If you won't take it orally, I'm sure we can find some other way for you to take it."

(we don't have a mooning smiley)

[ink10300]

When you go to a waterpark all day in florida, wear sunscreen. Blisters are not fun. Trying to pop them is not going to make it heal faster, it is not like peeling. Peeling 3 times and still having a sunburn is very painful..

Be sure your Doula is not a narcotics pill popper. Calling her pill popping boyfriend to help her, will not be the help your looking for. Especially when the nurses have to take the time to kick them out because they are falling everywhere and the near empty pill bottle is laying out in the next bed.

Russian Roulette is not fun if you or your friend get the bullet.

No thank you, I really don't care that you have a penis rod implant.

Just because your a minister/pastor of a church does not give you the right to beat your wife and tell her to refuse her Chemo because you can't hide your character and your mad we know how evil you really are.

Be careful in construction sites, the rebar is not a good place to fall on your butt. You could end up with a colostomy and one less testicle.

If you know you are HIV positive and you have AIDS, get steralized. Especially if your 5th child died at 6 months because you did not take your AZT, and even more so when you don't plan on taking any of your meds again even when you get pregnant for the 6th time.

You are an IV drug user and your afraid of having your blood drawn?

Your friend takes your meds because you borrowed his, but the CNA is the one who stole them? First it was only 3, then it was 30, now it's 120? Oh, as long as you have the police report, you can get them refilled? And the Doctor believes you, that's great.

If you think you have a compression fracture, do not allow your friend to "crack your back", it will not go back into place.

If you attempt to pierce your friends eyebrow and you have no idea what your doing, the eye twitching that suddenly started may not go away.

It's better to have a dentist pull out your teeth instead of your friend. Especially if you are 12 and your still not sure if the 7 teeth she already pulled out were/are the baby ones.

Clorox bleach is for clothes. You use different bleach for hair.

Ok, so i'm guilty in some of these, but i'm not admitting which ones...

[BlueRidgeHomeRN]

[quote=ink10300;2850275]

Clorox bleach is for clothes. You use different bleach for hair.
quote]

AND Clorox was never intended to be used as a douche or enema so you can feel "really clean down there".

[rph3664]

[quote=BlueRidgeHomeRN;2850679]

Originally Posted by ink10300

Clorox bleach is for clothes. You use different bleach for hair.
quote]

AND Clorox was never intended to be used as a douche or enema so you can feel "really clean down there".

You mean Dakin's Solution.......never mind.

Jay Leno's "Headlines" once featured an old magazine ad which described how a woman "restored harmony to my marriage" by using Lysol.



But seriously, in the pre-antibiotic days, Lysol was indeed used for this purpose. I have heard that the bottle (glass, of course) even had instructions on the label! It was something like a teaspoonful in a quart of water.

Many years ago, I heard about an abandoned factory building where teenagers liked to go to party, and the kids found some 55-gallon drums full of pure mercury. They were dipping their arms in it, throwing it around, and one kid even dipped a cigarette in it and smoked it, hoping to get high. He almost died, and several kids' houses had to be gutted because the mercury they brought in on their shoes and clothing was poisoning their families.

Sticking your hand into a running printing press is usually not a good idea either. Before I went back to school, I worked at an insurance company, and there was one company that had repeated worker's comp claims for this very act.

[santhony44]

Originally Posted by BlueRidgeHomeRN

AND Clorox was never intended to be used as a douche or enema so you can feel "really clean down there".

Neither was Tide.

I had a hospital patient once tell her roommate to douche with Tide. Judging by the look on the roommate's face, I doubt she went home and tried it.

[akoalaatemylion]

Wow - it has taken me days to read over from the very beginning - but totally worth it for the wisdom I have gained. I am still a student, but I have worked with high schoolers in a summer program for many years, and they have taught me a few medical lessons as well...

$50 is not worth scalding your tesicles when dared to stick them in a mug of hot water (perhaps they misinterpreted the meaning of "teabagging?" - especially when your mother then appropriates said $50 and makes you tell the story yourself to every doctor you have to see (and anyone else who asks).

Don't leave contact lenses in for three weeks at a time. You might scratch your cornea, contract an eye infection and have to wear a large eye patch - while living in a dorm with 200 other kids aged 14-17, who tend not to be too sensitive about that kind of thing.

If you have previously dislocated your shoulder, setting up a 'fight club' in your dorm lounge might not be a good idea - funny how it'll pop right back out again.

...and for the love of all that is holy, drink water and eat regular meals when you are traipsing about in hot, humid weather. It will freak people out when you and five other students pass out. In front of a Senate building. Next to the Capitol Police. They will call the Mass Casualty Vehicle to transport you. News crews will show up. Your advisors will be annoyed when you are asked what you had for breakfast and you reply "Diet Coke."