[grace90]

Originally Posted by RNelf

If snorting cocaine makes you paranoid, it's probably best to lock up your dogs in the garage before you indulge. Otherwise, if they start barking, you are likely to think it's the police coming to arrest you and rapidly consume your entire stash. Your heart probably won't like that, and after you end up in the ICU, the nursing staff will start calling you "Casey Jones".

Also, if you are diabetic, (heck, even if you're not!) it's not a good idea to drink 14 liters of regular Sprite in one evening. Same patient, same night as above incident. His blood glucose was over 1000.

Some people's children...

[kukukajoo]

1000? was he in a coma?

[Irish339]

Never let a medical student cut a bloody down jacket while the industrial heat fan is blowing in the trauma room.

Never try to train your pirana to eat meat from your hand.

Never try to convince an ER nurse you 'fell' onto whatever object is stuck in your rectum.

If you're cornering a squirrel on a power line...they bite.....*THEY BITE!!*

Don't wipe your face with alcohol then open the gas oven to check the chicken.

Don't use the vacuum cleaner for anything other than picking up debris off the floor.

Don't call the ER to see if eating spoiled yogurt can hurt you....2 hours after you've eaten it.

Don't call the ER to see if you can get AIDS from eating feces. Just don't call....don't ask make us think about things like that.

[Emmanuel Goldstein]

Originally Posted by Irish339

If you're cornering a squirrel on a power line...they bite.....*THEY BITE!!*

Don't wipe your face with alcohol then open the gas oven to check the chicken.

ROFL!!!

The neighbors dogs are going crazy now... I'm laughing so hard

[elizabells]

Originally Posted by Irish339

Don't call the ER to see if you can get AIDS from eating feces. Just don't call....don't ask make us think about things like that.

Don't read this thread while eating fudge brownie ice cream. No lie. Eating it right now.

[galenight]

Originally Posted by Irish339

Never let a medical student cut a bloody down jacket while the industrial heat fan is blowing in the trauma room.

.

OHmygosh... got a mental picture of this. Too funny... feathers everywhere.. wounds, everyone's hair... equipment.... LOL

[curiousauntie]

Originally Posted by Dave ARNP

Just today a patient taught me that spermacidal foam tastes like Downey.


EWWW

Dave

...and he knows what Downey tastes like because???...

[grace90]

Sending in a victim of your drunken rage, and then some time later coming in yourself claiming so much pain isn't gonna get you a bit of sympathy

[JustaPatient]

Originally Posted by grace90

If you're gonna be a big enough of a to light your girlfriend on fire you really shouldn't get sick yourself in jail and be brought to the same hospital she got treated at, and expect lots of pain meds and compassion, ain't gonna happen buddy

wow. he actually lit his girlfriend on fire?

[grace90]

Originally Posted by JustaPatient

wow. he actually lit his girlfriend on fire?

I am unable to answer any more questions about my last post seeing as I have contracted a serious case of HIPAA-titis.