When I worked in an ENT office a mother came in with her son and told us that her son had "taters" in his ear. Snickering it off and just thinking she just meant he needed his ears cleaned, we got him up in the chair and pulled down the microscope to look in his ear...low and behold, it wasn't a "tater" but a bean that had sprouted folage. Needless to say, the little boy had to go under general anesthesia in the hospital to get his ear cleaned out. Quite a learning experience and quite gross.
The pessary line was a true experience too. While working in the ED, a l.o.l. (little old lady) told us that she had a plant growing out from her "private area". I thought the lady had been confused, but the doctor told me to get her up in the stirrups...you can imagine my surprise at what we found. I will never forget that sight and that smell as long as I live.
The erection line was true too. When I worked in a prison, an inmate climbed off his bunk to take his first morning pee...and slipped, smacking that 'thing' on the bed post on his jump down. Although, the penis has no bones, the doctor diagnosed him as having a fractured penis. It folded on itself. He was in terrible pain...the erection couldn't go down because the blood was trapped from it folding on itself.
You guessed it..the poop line was true too. While working 3rd shift at a nursing home, I went into a patient's room to see why she was humming and awake at such a late hour. I walked over to her bed in the dark and leaned over the rail to talk to her quietly so I wouldn't wake up her room-mate. When I finished talking to her, I walked out of the room to let the STNA's know that there was a brown alert in her room...looked down and saw
I had poop all over the front of my uniform. The STNA's told me AFTER the fact that she had a history of making sculptures out of her poop and set them on her side rails to dry.
Gotta love this job eh?
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