[Marie_LPN]

Originally posted by pwp1289
boy was this teenager sorry------never masturbate using a pizza dough kneader!!!!!!!!!

How the HECK does someone get this idea???? lol

[SoonToBeNurse]

How in the world do people come up with these ideas!!!
Did Mom drop them on their heads!!! or is their gene pool just a mud puddle....

***!!!!

and just think...we are driving on the open roads with these people!!!!!

and....treating them in our offices and ER's and hospitals!!!!
(and paying for most of this with our tax dollars !!!!)

[Mimi2RN]

If you decide to go skinny-dipping at night in the neighbor's pool, be careful where you leave your clothes. A 16y/o acquired a black widow spider bite...on his penis! Explain THAT to your parents during the night .....go to ER, be admitted to peds.....ouchy!

[Big Bab's]

I'm no expert here but, it's my inderstanding that they have the rodents "de-toothed and de-clawed"?!?!

Originally posted by RN-PA
I agree. I also always thought they were urban legends and if not, animal abuse.

I never could understand how you could get a small rodent in there without it biting with those sharp little teeth or that it would immediately suffocate....

Ewwwww.

Sad.


I need to step out for some fresh air.



(By the way, I'm LOVING this thread! )

[LilgirlRN]

do not insert a semicid spermicidal suppository into your urinary meatus

do not assume you are "going thru the change" when you suddenly stop having a period when you are 43.

do not assume that your calan sr 240 has "cured" your hypertension and stop taking it, same can be said of insulin.

do not have a baby with a man (or a woman)who has already been in jail for molesting children.

don't leave your alzheimer's stricken mom with a gi bleed unattended, with the door closed, without telling someone.

do not leave your 7 year old in charge of your 4, 3, and 6 month old children.

do not try to "bake" the pain out of your chest for 2 days with hot wet rags when you are really having an MI.

throwing up once does not mean you need to go to the er for iv fluids.

if you are in the hospital for hyperemesis when you are pregnant, make sure the nurse is all the way out the door after injecting you with phenergan before getting in the bottom drawer of the bedside table to grab your potato chips.

showing the er security guard that you are carrying a weapon does not get your wife seen any faster.

[Hellllllo Nurse]

Originally posted by nursemouse
Your nurse and her colleagues are NOT Satanic priests and priestesses who are going to sacrifice you at dawn and then eat your heart.

Well, that all depends on where you work....

[Spidey's mom]

Quote from Lilgirl:
"do not assume you are "going thru the change" when you suddenly stop having a period when you are 43. "


ummm, ya . . . right.

I had irregular periods starting at 42 and thought I was pre-menopausal, bled for 16 days once, had Q2week periods for a couple of months, didn't get my period for 36 days and on a whim, took a preggers test which came back positive WHEN I WAS 43.

Never say never. . . . . (see child to your left)

steph

[Marie_LPN]

Originally posted by Big Bab's
I'm no expert here but, it's my inderstanding that they have the rodents "de-toothed and de-clawed"?!?!

Even more reason to consider the rodent up the butt as animal abuse.


(edited: 'fonsider' is not a word)

[nursemouse]

Originally posted by Hellllllo Nurse
Well, that all depends on where you work....

Actually, by the end of that night, I was tempted...

[Coldfoot]

Nail guns work on body parts just as well as on boards.

Spitting on the person that is getting ready to put in your foley might decrease the amount of lubrication they use.

"Dude, that was really stupid." 'That' being the action done just prior to coming to the ER.

Bending over to see if the dog you just hit is still alive is amost as smart as checking on the rattlesnake.

The 16 y/o male that was involved in the low speed MVA may have that priapism because of the hands on asssesment your cute female partner is doing, not because of a spinal injury.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all my patient for sharing their knowledge and life experiances with me.