[Paragoddess2RN]

Do not put the defib pads on, charge up and SHOCK...just to see if they work like they do on TV...true story.

NEVER build a doghouse with a chain saw...for a 1 pound chihuahua.

[nursebabygirl 08]

Originally Posted by ink10300

Unless, you are using as a anti-wrinkle night cream, than knock yourself out. It actually does work on wrinkles! Just DON'T get it in your eyes.

oh boyyy!!! You know i actually heard that before!

[CountryVisitingNurse]

Never try to get your neighbour to help to trim the top of your hedge by lifting up your lawnmover.... both of these guys lost all their fingers....

[nursebabygirl 08]

Originally Posted by CountryVisitingNurse

Never try to get your neighbour to help to trim the top of your hedge by lifting up your lawnmover.... both of these guys lost all their fingers....

need i say more?

[rph3664]

Originally Posted by CountryVisitingNurse

Never try to get your neighbour to help to trim the top of your hedge by lifting up your lawnmover.... both of these guys lost all their fingers....

Did either of these guys play drums for Spinal Tap? You know, the whole bizarre gardening accident thing? At least it wasn't fatal.

[10MG-IV]

always ask the person their name and always look at the name bracelet. Some people think it is funny if you call out a name and will say "what?" or yes to any name you call out. just something patients have taught me. Never assume.

[Natkat]

Originally Posted by rph3664

Had a "friend" working on the floor, maybe?

Did anyone catch him in the utility room?

I did clinicals on a unit where the staff was so tired of constantly fetching things for patients that someone gave out the code to the nutrition room. It just so happened that this code was the code to everything else, including the supply room and the med room. Very bad idea.

[Biol20fan]

Originally Posted by Natkat

I did clinicals on a unit where the staff was so tired of constantly fetching things for patients that someone gave out the code to the nutrition room. It just so happened that this code was the code to everything else, including the supply room and the med room. Very bad idea.

Oh. My. God.

Did they figure out who did that? And what happened to them?

I'm always so paranoid when I punch in code numbers; I protect them like I'd protect my ATM codes.

[southlandshari]

Never cut 18 inches off of a swimming pool "noodle" (anyone with kids under 10 will recognize this latest aquatic toy), wittle the end to a sharp point, attach a string and a ring at one end, and then insert it in your rectum.

Especially not if your um....purpose....for doing so requires you to push the noodle to an internal depth at which the artificially pointy end threatens to puncture a lung.

Because the aforementioned action will preclude your best-laid plan of pulling the noodle out with the string-ring combo post um....purpose...and will result in an ER visit that I assure you is no more comfortable for the staff than it is for you.

[southlandshari]

Originally Posted by JaredCNA

Oh, I'm reluctant to share this one, but...

Never prostitute yourself out to homeless folks, and definitely don't let them stick their penis in your colostomy.

No matter how I try to forget that one...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!







Damn. I have worked so hard for so long to convince myself that our regular patient, "Miss ------" was the only sad and tortured soul on earth who did this.

Until now.

Thanks for bursting my last remaining bubble of blessed naivete.