[grace90]

My nursing instructors never told us that the human bladder could be capable of holding 4000 cc of urine with distention up to the umbilicus- with no sensation of a problem whatsoever. "I pee just fine!" Yikes!

They never told us that young male trauma or ortho patients magically are able to urinate for the first time in 8 hours when the orderly comes in waving the little red straight cath.

That the first time after you get out of nursing orientation and are the one to deal with a problem, you're first impulse will be to "tell the nurse" only to realize that "you are the nurse".

And the most important thing they didn't teach us... to go with my hunch! If I have a hunch that this patient needs something and there is something serious going on and even if the doc doesn't think so, it's my job and responsibility to argue for the patient and get what I think they need. I may just turn out to be right.

That a "Thank You" to Dr.'s, orderlies, patient care assistants, fellow nurses, lab, respiratory, security, pharmacy, etc., goes a loooong way.

[texas_lvn]

That a "Thank You" to Dr.'s, orderlies, patient care assistants, fellow nurses, lab, respiratory, security, pharmacy, etc., goes a loooong way. [/quote]

This is the truth!

[LLLRN]

That if you choose to work in home health you will be inserting a foley into an elderly woman that weighs about 90lbs, but has the strength of 10 men. The room will be about 100 degrees, you will be sweating like a pig and the only light in the room will be a 25 watt light bulb on the other side of the room. In order to insert the catheter you will be on your knees in the bed with a pen light in your mouth and your elbow will be trying to hold her knees apart...oh yeah and don't forget sterile technique because this is the last catheter you have in your car and you are about 65 miles from your office.
Also, when you go to admit your patient for service, again about 65-70 miles from the office, the patient will be dead when you get there. Unfortunately, the family will not realize that grandma is not just sleeping and so when you let them know that she has expired the will all become so hysterical that the pregnant niece will start having contractions and need an ambulance. There will not be a current DNR order and you will need to carry your own phone because the family will have a phone that does not dial out long distance and you will be in the middle of nowhere.
And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.

[epiphany]

Originally Posted by LLLRN

That if you choose to work in home health you will be inserting a foley into an elderly woman that weighs about 90lbs, but has the strength of 10 men. The room will be about 100 degrees, you will be sweating like a pig and the only light in the room will be a 25 watt light bulb on the other side of the room. In order to insert the catheter you will be on your knees in the bed with a pen light in your mouth and your elbow will be trying to hold her knees apart...oh yeah and don't forget sterile technique because this is the last catheter you have in your car and you are about 65 miles from your office.
Also, when you go to admit your patient for service, again about 65-70 miles from the office, the patient will be dead when you get there. Unfortunately, the family will not realize that grandma is not just sleeping and so when you let them know that she has expired the will all become so hysterical that the pregnant niece will start having contractions and need an ambulance. There will not be a current DNR order and you will need to carry your own phone because the family will have a phone that does not dial out long distance and you will be in the middle of nowhere.
And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.

[BlueYYsRN]

[
And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.[/quote]


Poor chicken

Im sure it wasnt funny when it happened but OMG!

What have you done to deserve such karma???

[DragonflyLVN]

...how to tune out the resident with forced speech so you can finish charting.

...that spraying the inside of a mask with a small amount of body spray can make your end of a removing fecal impaction just a wee bit more pleasant.

...that nothing unites a majorly dysfunctional family faster than a well meaning outsider.

...how to keep from crying yourself as you explain to your demented resident, sometimes for the 7th or 8th time that day, that his beloved wife of 60 years has passed away...and then watch him cry like he just got the news for the first time.

...how to appropriately respond when the resident, whose buttock dressing you are changing, unexpectantly breaks wet, fragrant wind right in your face.

...to stand just out of reach of the known "hitters."

[DNRme]

you have no idea how funny you are.

[DNRme]

Originally Posted by A476

I THINK THAT ALL OF THAT IS NEED TO KNOW INFORMATION. HOW DARE THEY NOT SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THAT STUFF. WHEN I START SCHOOL I WILL HAVE ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS ANSWERED BEFORE I SET FOOT IN A CLINICAL . BUT MAYBE NOT. I HOPE I NEVER RUN INTO PROJECTILE VOMMITTING OR TOO MUCH POOP.

You have no idea how funny you are. Best wishes.

[LLLRN]

Originally Posted by BlueYYsRN

[
And last but not least, a bad day in home health will include running over a chicken.

Poor chicken

Im sure it wasnt funny when it happened but OMG!

What have you done to deserve such karma???[/quote]

Just lucky, I guess!!!

[karenG]

I have learnt.

to smile .. no matter what gets thrown at me...

that patients will tell me one thing and the doctor something completely different!

that the really ill patients are the ones who never complain

that people can hide all sorts of things about their person...........and be naked at the same time (think about it)

that tea strainers can be used as a contraceptive device..

NEVER EVER use the word 'quiet' - its fatal and will result in the shift from hell

that the minute I leave work.. the man with chest pain will arrest! in 26yrs as a nurse I have never seen an arrest.........they always wait until I have left the unit!!! odd that!

that all things come in threes.

oh.. and that i love my job!

Karen