[Elvish]

That no matter how long I have been waiting for the doc to call me back, as soon as I get up to:
1) pee
2) hang a new bag of IVF
3) check on a potentially breaking antepartum
4) pull someone's meds from the pyxis; or
5) anything else

s/he will call back.

[nrsang97]

That eventhough you just did the dressing change that took you 30 minutes the doc will come and unwrap it just to see the wound. (I always knew as soon as I redid the dressing for a certian doc's pt he would come and unwrap the dressing to see the wound and always at the end of my shift.)

That as soon as you leave the floor to get something to eat, or go to the bathroom your portable phone will ring.

That as soon as you sit down at 3am to eat your lunch the resident will call you into room 55 for a hypertensive emergency and you will find blown pupils and be running to stat CT and possibly OR. ( was charge but not my pt)

That the confused little old men and women have the strength of a football team when you need to start a IV or insert a foley.

That calling a abnormal lab in the middle of the night will get you chewed out by the doc.

Calling mulitple times on the same pt which you have great concerns will get you chewed out.

That you will get a dead pt from the ER. "Well she was a DNR", and the paperwork never filled out.

That you will have to explain to the same family 20,099 times that the pt is brain dead and NO the vent dosen't control their arm movement.

That you will have to tell the family to stop watching the monitor.

That you will have a family member ask if they can do a "brain transplant".

That being a nurse ment anything and everything is your fault.

That little confused old men and women are jsut as good as Houdidni at getting out of their restraints. And will have every tube, IV pulled out.

That some famlies will believe that their loved one will get better even they have blown pupils and have a GCS of 3, and Gift of Life has been called.

That you would see the pt that everyone wrote off for dead recover ( not be completely normal) but get better, off the vent , trach decannulated, moving everything, peg removed, and eating.

That a restrained pt can and will self extubate if motivated enough.


That calling to have tylenol changed to q4 from q8 on the hospice pt with a temp of 105 will get you told by the uncaring doc "Just do what you want."

That at 4am the pt family will want to visit.

That no matter how many times you tell the family to let the pt rest they won't.

[nuttpn]

-to NEVER drop your pt's atropine bottle in the same pocket you carry your own eyedrops in so you don't forget it in the room while you console the dying pt's daughter at 2am...by 4am you will begin wondering if anyone had died from an overdose of immodium (because you'd had a bout of GI trouble yourself and taken it a few times because you were stuck at work) when your realize your pupils are fixed and dilated to 8mm, you are experiencing severe eye pain, and begin to develop a headache...you will feel like a jackass when both bottles fall from your pocket and you realize your mistake and have to call the nsg supervisor to come read the atropine entry in a drug book to you (because you've lost the ability to focus on anything within 10 feet of you) and s/he will not be successful at stifling their laughter...your vision won't be completely normal for nearly two weeks and it will take much, MUCH longer for your coworkers, friends, and family to forget (they still haven't)

[babydoll99_99]

That the first time you forget to tell a male infant not to pee on you before you take off the diaper, he will, in the face, and you will be holding him naked on the way to the scale and will not be able to get out of the line of fire.

That family members always know better than doctors or nurses and will tell you so frequently.

That you will have patients that will touch your heart and stick with you for a long, long time after you discharge them, and it is not necessarily a bad thing.

That medical knowledge and common sense do not always go hand in hand, or even agree.

That there will be days that you hate your job and never ever want to go back, but that feeling fades when you go home and vent to your significant other.

That patients will forgive you if you forget something for them, if you admit it and say you are sorry (and mean it).

That joking with patients is not taboo and can make some very introverted patients open up and tell you what they need.

That sometimes medicine cannot fix everything and you will have to be able to explain that to the patient that has just put all their trust in you.

That a soft voice and a kind look in your eyes can go a long way to calming a very anxious patient.

That taking 5 minutes to go take a picture of an infant in a quarantined NICU for the mom just may well be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her.

[Franemtnurse]

That when someone tells you it won't be long, they really mean it because the physician isn't available

That Ativan is a multiuse drug

That some people will spread patient info

[fancy2309]

Amen about the body paint poo! I've seen that entirely too many times!

How about playing scavenger hunt to find the sweet little Alzheimer's patient someone let out of the doors?

Or having to take Sweet grandma's teeth out to keep from a savage bite?

[peridotgirl]

that in the real world there is no "follow the book". You do, however, have to follow agency policy.

that the "buddy system" doesn't exist. You are on your own, working independently. And about that nurse who will gladly double check your medical math for a med--- just forget it, she has other things to do.

[stitch2006]

- That every family member "has" a doctor in the family who they can get on the phone in an instant
- That no matter how many times you ask a pt if they have any pain and their response is No or 0/10... as soon as family walks in, they miraculously have pain that has never been tx-ed

- That pts usually have chest pain 5 minutes before change of shift or have explosive diarrhea 5 minutes before change of shift


-

[Jessiedog]

That sleep is optional for nurses. Doing an afternoon shift followed by the night shift because you are the only one able to monitor the 2-month-old with bronchiolitis in the isolette is normal. Hourly obs, respiratory status, comfort feeds, IV hydration etc can be performed when you've been on your feet and dealing with anxious parents for 28 hours.

When you call the RMO on call at 5am because your 18-month-old patient has been fitting tonic clonic for SEVEN MINUTES despite your giving them PR Diazepam doesn"t mean they will actually attend! They wait until the fitting has finished before looking into the room, stating "He looks OK now" and walking off!

That it's possible to care for your own patient load, mentor a graduate nurse caring for the next four-bed room, supervise the nursing student and field questions from a colleague placed in paediatric specialty because she was the only one available, all AT THE SAME TIME!

They also never told me that when you leave your career after 15 years because of burn-out and depression that you would feel so guilty, and also that hardly anybody in the hospital notices! A surgeon colleague looked at me after three years of abscence and asked "Have I seen you on the wards lately??" Hmmmmmm.........

[qaqueen]

Originally Posted by Emmanuel Goldstein

The trick is to poke 'em (like the Pillsbury Dough Boy).

Seriously. It works

poke them in the belly???