[nerdtonurse?]

ER miracle -- as in, the ICU's full, pt needs an ICU bed, and

***miracle happens***

They are suddenly better enough to come to the floor, and they proceed to code within a few minutes to few hours of arrival on the floor. Which leads me to....

"CAV started at 2230" -- coding a vegetable.
"Crunchies" -- when you are performing CPR on a LOL or LOM and you feel their ribs break -- as in, "about the 3rd time I did a compression, I had crunchies"

C& T ward -- cabbages and turnips

"[insert name of your floor] smackdown" -- when it takes every NA, CNA, LPN, RN and security to restrain a paranoid schizophrenic who's trying to go out the window. Without opening the window.

"pee pot" -- a patient who's urine soaks the bed each and every void

[Peepsaretasty]

TTJ-Transfer To Jesus
RTDD-Refer To Dr Deere (as in John Deere)
PSTO (pronounced "pesto") Pet Smarter Than Owner

And who could forget Fartical for describing a pt who has just passed gas for the first time after surgery.

Used in a sentence: "Is Mrs Jones Fartical yet?" or "wooo hooo Mr Smith, you're fartical!"

[PICNICRN]

Not a diagnoses but.....

We used to refer to our lack of lunch breaks as being on the "(fill in the hospital's name) diet".

"hey Nancy, did you get lunch today"???

"No, I'm on the St. Rose Diet"

Worked great, I lost 5 pounds in 1 RSV season!