[Thanet]

Originally Posted by Suesquatch

*snort*

I have lots of little old ladies in their late 80s and 90s who visit with their parents regularly.

Ooookay.

I nursed an old lady a few years back and her 80 year old daughter would come and visit her each week.















My patient lady was 103.

[weezledawg]

You almost poodled in your pants?

[TraumaRN1983]

I had a 16 year old male patient who had just had a hemicolectomy. My unit secretary tells me that my patient just called and asked to have his "surgical socks" taken off. As I am walking toward my patient's room I realize that he is probably talking about his SCD's. So I go into the room and ask my patient "Did you want help taking off your SCD's?" He gets this terrified look on his face (oh by the way, his mom is also in the room) and says "What are you talking about? I don't have any STD's!" I explain to him that I was talking about his sequential compression devices aka SCD's, to which he replies "Oh yeah, I wanted those taken off." I managed to keep a straight face in the room but practically fell on the floor laughing once I got out into the hallway! So funny!

[fatiguedRN]

How about waking up a patient introducing yourself as the nurse and being asked in return, "What tribe do you come from?"

[DisneyDreamin]

This was before I started working at my current facility, but the older nurses were telling me about 2 lil elderly ladies who were roomies. One night they could hear a lot of commotion from the room. As the entered they saw B bed pt standing over A bed pt coaching her to "Have Her Baby". Both residents are there to this day and I smile everytime I have to go in there.

One of my residents kept asking for "bigger titties" so I found a sheet rolled it up and put it under her gown. Resident was very happy except "I dont have the crack in the middle". It took me a lil bit of time to figure out she wanted cleavage. So I grabbed a rubberband and made her cleavage. I have never seen someone so excited. I could not fill her other request, that was for "bigger hips, to get a man". I loved that lady.

[JustaPatient]

Originally Posted by TraumaRN1983

I had a 16 year old male patient who had just had a hemicolectomy. My unit secretary tells me that my patient just called and asked to have his "surgical socks" taken off. As I am walking toward my patient's room I realize that he is probably talking about his SCD's. So I go into the room and ask my patient "Did you want help taking off your SCD's?" He gets this terrified look on his face (oh by the way, his mom is also in the room) and says "What are you talking about? I don't have any STD's!" I explain to him that I was talking about his sequential compression devices aka SCD's, to which he replies "Oh yeah, I wanted those taken off." I managed to keep a straight face in the room but practically fell on the floor laughing once I got out into the hallway! So funny!

ahhh so that is what they are called. I always call them the squeezy boots.

[JustaPatient]

So this is not a co-worker or a patient but one of my doctors who I had never met before. I saw a neurosergeon on friday, I said that I had not had an MRI of my head of years (used to have them yearly). His response, I know, the MRI I was looking at you had 2 eyes. You see January 2007 (last year) I had my right eye removed. He had NO clue before I walked in there that my eye was gone. lol.

[MIA-RN]

I had a confused patient once climb up on a chair in the dayroom unbeknownst to me or the rest of the staff and subsequently fall off. After we got him back up, he seemed fine. As I was charting the incident, he came up to the nurse's station and announced to me "Well, I broke it good. I guess its time to bury the body now."
I asked him what body.
He pointed to himself "This one. Its no good anymore now that I fell. We need to get rid of the body" The poor dear had a history of abdominal surgery and thought that for whatever reason, his insides had been all rebuilt, and that his fall off the chair had broken what he referred to as 'the doctor's fine handiwork'.
I reassured him that he wasn't dead, and he was much happier.

[Meri333]

I was in a patients room once changing an IV bag... my patient was a SUPER confused little old lady about 85trs old. I was standing next to her bedside table and knocked over the chart I had with me. She says, "What was that?!?" I said, "Ma'am, you just farted" and she says, "Oh my! I'm so sorry!"... I ran out of there laughing sooooo hard! Isn't that horrible of me? But it was sooooooooooo funny! I went to the nurses station and told everyone... everyone was rolling on the floor!

[mrsraisinkain]

Originally Posted by Meri333

I was in a patients room once changing an IV bag... my patient was a SUPER confused little old lady about 85trs old. I was standing next to her bedside table and knocked over the chart I had with me. She says, "What was that?!?" I said, "Ma'am, you just farted" and she says, "Oh my! I'm so sorry!"... I ran out of there laughing sooooo hard! Isn't that horrible of me? But it was sooooooooooo funny! I went to the nurses station and told everyone... everyone was rolling on the floor!

Shame on you!!

(But still I will admit somewhere deep inside I laughed a little bit... Shame on me!!)