[becca47]

I had just moved here to OKC area as an agency LPN. my first assignment was in a nursing home. I was told I needed to get a cath UA and the last 3 shifts was unable to get it. I went in the room with 2 assisting me because the pt is uncooperative and fights. So, thye were holding her legs apart as i was swabing with the betadine (you know the procedure) the patient said, "that was a good [word for female genitalia] til you gone and done that. I have never forgot that. That was in 1991.

[Shantas]

Today I had my first day of orientation in a psych hospital. We had this 8 yrs old boy, he was there beacause he had problems with anger management and he has tempertantrum, he was throwing chairs at home when he got mad.
So during a group the facilitator asked him.." Joe why did you come here?: He replies "I got mad and threw a chair". The facilitator ask "What could you have done differently when you got mad"....Joe goes..."well I threw a chair, parhaps I could have thrown a table instead"......

[oncnursemsn]

This is a great post! I was caring for a very sensitive oncology patient who had spend hundreds of her own dollars for wigs when she went bald from chemo. She mentioned many times how important her hair was to her. After finishing up, before I left, told her, "Ok, I'll get out of your hair now." oops.
Had a great teenager who was dying from her leukemia. Had to give her a unit of blood, and as I was hanging it, "Oh, you must be dying to get this." yeh, she was.... oops.
Jess

[kemrich]

Not funniest ever of course...but funniest in last 24hrs! So yesterday I have this confused, unsteady gait, cyanosed, decreased Sp02 pt come in at 1800h, sats of about 73ish on room air, when questioned re:02 use, pt states usually uses, but occasionally takes it off and forgets to put back on. So when asked about what the pt thinks brought him in that day, he stated that he thought he took his 02 off to have a cigarette in the morning, and then may have forgotten to put it back on. I asked him why he took it off (thought I'd humour the man) and he, looking at me like I was an idiot, stated "OBVIOUSLY because I didn't want to blow myself up!"

SAFETY FIRST!!!

[mindyg22]

These are funny!

[DownStethoscope]

I had a female patient the other day, and I was telling her that her Doc had prescribed some new meds for her:

Me: Well, I think all you have to take tonight is just one lopressor.

Pt: Oh? I thought I was done for the day. I already took a little blue pill.

Me ::eyebrow raised:: What are you doing taking little blue pills?

::her friend starts giggling::

Pt: It had an "M" on it.

Me: Okay, just as long as it didn't have a "V" on it, we're good.

[fey_lassRN]

Originally Posted by MamaTheNurse

oh yeah - OB is great - my husband misses the stories that I came home with when I worked in OB
we had a patient come in to deliver with a tatoo just above her pubic hair that was a word for female genitalia and below it was an arrow pointing down towards said body part - the OB who did her delivery was quite amused and said "How dumb are the guys that she's fooling around with that she has to provide them with directions to where they need to go?" I said "Well, obviously one was smart enough to follow the directions...."

I'm also OB, and I love the tats!

[fey_lassRN]

Originally Posted by tryingtomakeit

OMG!!! I just got off work and I had an incident happen that made me immediately think of this thread!

I work in L&D and when our patients come in for pitocin inductions, part of our protocol is to administer a fleets enema.

Well, I had a patient to come in this morning to be induced who was only 17 years old. I got through her paperwork and thought to myself, "To only be 17 years old this girl seems to have it all together." I then told her that I would have to give her an enema and she asked what an enema was. So I explained it to her - I showed her the enema and told her that I would put the liquid into her rectum and that she should hold it for a bit, then when she needed to, we would get up and go to the bathroom. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Won't that drown my baby??!!!!!!!!"

That is too funny! We use the large bucket enemas for our inductions, and explaining it to the teen moms is always funny.

[peridotgirl]

what kind of pill has the "M" on it?

[mshultz]

Originally Posted by peridotgirl

what kind of pill has the "M" on it?

Hint: They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.