[connyrn]

I learned a lot when I was a nurse's aide. I was like a child, learning very fast a lot of stuff.
I learned English, a new place, new kind of work and a totally new word!
I am going as far as, the day that I was absolutelly insulted when this patient a/ox3, said (that because I could not give her ice cream: pt NPO and diabetic) that I was a son of a @#$. I could not believe that someone who knew me for 1 year, could talk about my mother that way!!!!
Well, you expressions are taken literallly too often by foreigner! It can be real funny at times! Like, the day that I was working on the neuro unit and they paged Dr. Fu overhead, I was laughing inside because for me Fu = fou=crazy!
OK, let's get real! The possessed patient.
My preceptor was a retired nun, real sweat and honnest the God so beautifully glowing with her thick grey hair, her Colgate smile her pink cheeks like my grand-ma. The nun truly thought that this particularly pt was possessed. She had put some holy water in the room, blessed her, put palm branches on her headboard... all this specially, after she had heard that the pt would welcome us with brown balls.The pt would confectionate and line them up on her side-rail and she would fingerflick her "brown balls" (you know what these were, nooooo! not chocolate!) to whomever would come to get her up for any kind of care. She had rotten teeth, a devil look, hair straight up full of "calix" and make spooky sounds like in Exorcist, scratch you, thighten up... resist all the way to the cafeteria. Completely demented!
Well, you should have seen THE SCENE when the patient's family found out what the nun had done!!!! Just to say, the family was not a all catholic, but a totally opposite belief.
Woooooo!

[WriteStuff]

I was in my last year of Nursing School. We were doing our geriatric rotation in a small community hospital. My patient that day was a 91 year old gentleman who had all of his "faculties" intact, - mental and physical alike. He was to be discharged home that day.

I entered his room to assist him in morning cares and dressing to go home. He was a spry one for 91 years. He insisted on getting up immediately to "go to the bathroom first." Although he was on the spry side, I didn't trust him standing alone with me so I called one of my classmates to come and help.

We decided the best method would be to use his bedside commode. Now, for you nurses who entered the profession after the fact............back in the "cro-magnon" days of nursing, when I was a student, the hospitals used metal bedside commodes that had a seat, but also had a spring-loaded "platform" under the metal seat. The idea was for the nurse to push the metal bedpan onto this platform, which would then be held in place by the "springs" (flexible springs) as the bedpan rested on the platform. Got the picture there??

Ok. I'll call him Mr. Jones......91 yr. old Mr. Jones was in a great hurry that morning and urged us to "hurry with that contraption or you're going to have to shovel manure all morning you two!!!" My classmate stood in front of Mr. Jones to steady him as he positioned himself to sit on the commode. Suddenly, he began yelling: "Hurry it up, hurry it up......." I grabbed his metal bedpan from his bedside table and he leaned over at the waste, positioning his derriere over the "target" (metal seat of commode).

The closer he got to sitting, the louder he yelled at me: "HURRY UP WITH THAT THING WILL YOU?" Who was I to pay attention to "what" was also dangling into the open seat of the commode when I gave that bedpan a shove only Daddy would be proud of??

Suddenly , Mr. Jones gave out a blood curdling scream that was heard all over the hospital and people came flying into the room from every direction! I was in shock. What happened?

Yep, it happened alright. Mr. Jones, more than adequately "endowed" in the "family jewels" department, in his rush to sit, -combined with my youthful reflexes and lightening speed.....caught his penis between the metal rim of the seat, and the bedpan!

I got an "F" in Clincal that day.

Bonnie Creighton, RN

[Adam D. RN2005]

Originally Posted by WriteStuff

I was in my last year of Nursing School. We were doing our geriatric rotation in a small community hospital. My patient that day was a 91 year old gentleman who had all of his "faculties" intact, - mental and physical alike. He was to be discharged home that day.

I entered his room to assist him in morning cares and dressing to go home. He was a spry one for 91 years. He insisted on getting up immediately to "go to the bathroom first." Although he was on the spry side, I didn't trust him standing alone with me so I called one of my classmates to come and help.

We decided the best method would be to use his bedside commode. Now, for you nurses who entered the profession after the fact............back in the "cro-magnon" days of nursing, when I was a student, the hospitals used metal bedside commodes that had a seat, but also had a spring-loaded "platform" under the metal seat. The idea was for the nurse to push the metal bedpan onto this platform, which would then be held in place by the "springs" (flexible springs) as the bedpan rested on the platform. Got the picture there??

Ok. I'll call him Mr. Jones......91 yr. old Mr. Jones was in a great hurry that morning and urged us to "hurry with that contraption or you're going to have to shovel manure all morning you two!!!" My classmate stood in front of Mr. Jones to steady him as he positioned himself to sit on the commode. Suddenly, he began yelling: "Hurry it up, hurry it up......." I grabbed his metal bedpan from his bedside table and he leaned over at the waste, positioning his derriere over the "target" (metal seat of commode).

The closer he got to sitting, the louder he yelled at me: "HURRY UP WITH THAT THING WILL YOU?" Who was I to pay attention to "what" was also dangling into the open seat of the commode when I gave that bedpan a shove only Daddy would be proud of??

Suddenly , Mr. Jones gave out a blood curdling scream that was heard all over the hospital and people came flying into the room from every direction! I was in shock. What happened?

Yep, it happened alright. Mr. Jones, more than adequately "endowed" in the "family jewels" department, in his rush to sit, -combined with my youthful reflexes and lightening speed.....caught his penis between the metal rim of the seat, and the bedpan!

I got an "F" in Clincal that day.

Bonnie Creighton, RN

Just reading this is making me squirm. Let me ask, was he bobbitted (penial amputation for those who don't remember Loraina Bobbit did to her husband.) Or fully intact.

Adam D.
Graduate Nurse

[WriteStuff]

Originally Posted by Adam D. RN2005

Just reading this is making me squirm. Let me ask, was he bobbitted (penial amputation for those who don't remember Loraina Bobbit did to her husband.) Or fully intact.

Adam D.
Graduate Nurse

Fortunately Adam, he was NOT "bobbitted" that day, not even seriously injured, thank God for that! And you know...not only my story, but others of our stories we're sharing were not all that "funny" at the time. I think the comic relief is in the fact that he was not hurt and I can look back and see it as a humorous story. If I had done him true damage, I would not have shared this of course. But it is a true story. I did "giggle" a little when you you signed your post as "Adam", LOL.

[RN_Jen]

Originally Posted by Franemtnurse

I laughed soo hard I nearly peed my pants. Now I pee them without even trying.

OMG...toooooo funny!

[Keely-FutureRN]

Originally Posted by alvardalton

I was called in one night to special a patient, a LOL. This lady just had a hip fracture and was very aggressive about wanting to go home and was trying to get out of bed! The ward was busy and the order of the night was to keep her quiet and in bed (easier said than done!). This elderly woman was becoming increasingly annoyed with me as I continued to tell her to stay put. She was calling me a mean spirited individual and many other phrases she could think of!. Just as I was beginning to believe her it was time for my break (a sanity break!). I was off for just half an hour but when I came back the nurse that had taken over was at her wits end and frustrated with the LOL, she was glad to see me. I took over and she left. I was uncomfortable in the chair I was sitting in and as I had just managed to convince the lady to take a break from squirming (and resume in a little while!) I decided to lay on the floor. Just as I had gotten comfortable this little old lady who I thought hated me, looked over the bed rail at me and said "are you okay dear?". "Would you like me to get you a blanket?". I found this very funny, and sweet at the same time.

Aw.

Keely

[LoraLou]

My favorite funny story would have to be when i was an aide in a nursing home through school. Another aide and I were assisting a resident back into bed and she started to fall so the other aide I was working with kind of twisted around and landed with her back on the bed and the resident on top of her, so we just kind of stood there for a moment and the res. started laughing and we asked her what was going on and she just goes...Boy I never thought I'd be riding you like this.
To this day I look back and laugh at that.

[Franemtnurse]

Originally Posted by WriteStuff

I was in my last year of Nursing School. We were doing our geriatric rotation in a small community hospital. My patient that day was a 91 year old gentleman who had all of his "faculties" intact, - mental and physical alike. He was to be discharged home that day.

I entered his room to assist him in morning cares and dressing to go home. He was a spry one for 91 years. He insisted on getting up immediately to "go to the bathroom first." Although he was on the spry side, I didn't trust him standing alone with me so I called one of my classmates to come and help.

We decided the best method would be to use his bedside commode. Now, for you nurses who entered the profession after the fact............back in the "cro-magnon" days of nursing, when I was a student, the hospitals used metal bedside commodes that had a seat, but also had a spring-loaded "platform" under the metal seat. The idea was for the nurse to push the metal bedpan onto this platform, which would then be held in place by the "springs" (flexible springs) as the bedpan rested on the platform. Got the picture there??

Ok. I'll call him Mr. Jones......91 yr. old Mr. Jones was in a great hurry that morning and urged us to "hurry with that contraption or you're going to have to shovel manure all morning you two!!!" My classmate stood in front of Mr. Jones to steady him as he positioned himself to sit on the commode. Suddenly, he began yelling: "Hurry it up, hurry it up......." I grabbed his metal bedpan from his bedside table and he leaned over at the waste, positioning his derriere over the "target" (metal seat of commode).

The closer he got to sitting, the louder he yelled at me: "HURRY UP WITH THAT THING WILL YOU?" Who was I to pay attention to "what" was also dangling into the open seat of the commode when I gave that bedpan a shove only Daddy would be proud of??

Suddenly , Mr. Jones gave out a blood curdling scream that was heard all over the hospital and people came flying into the room from every direction! I was in shock. What happened?

Yep, it happened alright. Mr. Jones, more than adequately "endowed" in the "family jewels" department, in his rush to sit, -combined with my youthful reflexes and lightening speed.....caught his penis between the metal rim of the seat, and the bedpan!

I got an "F" in Clincal that day.

Bonnie Creighton, RN

Bonnie, you may have gotten an F for clinicals, but you sure got an A+ for humor and for Memorable Moments!!! Way 2 go!!!!!

[WriteStuff]

Originally Posted by Franemtnurse

Bonnie, you may have gotten an F for clinicals, but you sure got an A+ for humor and for Memorable Moments!!! Way 2 go!!!!!

Glad you saw the humor in it. Metal bedpans and bedside commodes with a spring-loaded platform went out of "fashion" right after that. LOL

[Danianne]

here is one. I work in LTC and one day my boss called at about 4:30 am to ask me to come in for a 6-2 "Bath Team" shift. any way I had never worked in the tub rom before and was just pretty much winging it . I had this guy on the bath chair (the electric ones that go Up and Down) and I was using the short tub with the deep foot well. so the sory goes I put the guy way way in the air and got his feet over the edge so far so good. slowly started pushing him forwards to the tub. he puts his feet into the water and lets out a blood curdiling yelp. I run over and thrust my hand into the water thinking that it was too hot but it felt fine. all the while he is waving his arms and gasping. i call to my partner and say somthing os wrong with ******* . she come over to assess the problem.. I had forgotten to hold up all the dangly bits that were hanging through the toilet seat type hole and had almost sheared the bits completely off. someone forgot to tell me that the chair only had 1/8 inch clearance aboce the side of the tub and when there was extreme dangliness (<-- not sure if this is word) to be careful and assist the dangliness over the side of the tub