[NancyJo]

Originally Posted by madwife2002

Can hardly believe these stories, I have never unless they are physically unable ever been asked such things. MY BIG question is do you wipe butts when the patient is perfectly able??????????????????? And if you do so why?

No I don't. I also give a little inservice as Triage posted earlier on getting them ready for home. I also make sure to document the pt. education and that I will continue to encourage pt. to independently complete tasks/ADL's that they are able to do.

[fluffwad]

Had an elderly couple, both very demented. One night he got it up and neither one could remember what this was all about. So she smeared stick deodorant all over it to take down the swelling. She rang to ask if we thought this would work.

[Cubby]

If only I could remember them all. All I can say is-a call light in the hands of an Alzheimer's patient is both a source of joy and endless frustration! Use your imagination

[suzy253]

About 6:30 a.m.--beginning change of shift--7-3 coming on; students showing up. Dear old lady rang her bell continuously and calling out to anyone who would listen to her walking by in the hallway. Her complaint was that she came 'in here' to get some sleep and needed rest and that the 'goings-on' in the hallway were disturbing her. Welcome to the Fatima Hilton.

[BSN2004]

"Can you pick up my (used) tissue up off the floor?" while the patient is 2 feet away on a floor mat doing yoga.

[rn500]

OH I SWEAR I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN AGAIN ABOUT MY OB PTS CALLING ME!!

You guys are killing me here! OMG my sides hurt!

[Adam D. RN2005]

I use to work in a senior assistant facility. They gave us pagers which were activated by the call lights. Well we always see rooms in the Alzheimer's unit coming up. And we would have to go to the computer to manually reset them. Well, when I transfered into the unit I found out why we would get six or seven call lights coming on together. It seems that one of the residents was a wanderer and she would wander into each room, pull the call light and then wanderer to the next room and do the same. And in that unit there was no light above the door and since we did not use pagers up there, we never knew which rooms were set off.
After working nearly 6 months in that unit, I saw it all.
The fingerpainters, wanderers, talkers, kleptomaniac. (yes we had a Klepto on the floor). And then there was the one that insisted she was married to me and hung onto me for dear life the entire shift.
Adam
Graduate Nurse

[OntCaRPN]

Many years ago our facility installed the light system you can speak over. This was supposed to save steps. You can just take the pain pill, glass of water, blanket with you the first time you go. Many, many pts call and say something like ...."I'd like to see a nurse". I say "Can I help you?" .... "Yes, it's Fred here in room 12, I'd like to see a nurse." .... "What's up Fred? Can I help you with something?" ...... "Yes, it's Fred and I'd like a nurse please."
Sometimes it's kind of cute. If we're busy and they want something I could have taken with me, it's not funny.
I often wonder .... in the middle of the night .... who do they think is answering the call bells?
I've started telling pts on admission, not only how to use the callbell but also that it is a nurse who answers. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it don't

[Gromit]

Only have a few:
Had a patient who had been used to having female nurses (no way could I ever be confused with that gender. I'm just a big-ole' biker boy, I may have long hair, but I've never been mistaken gender-wise (grin) ) well, this 'gentleman' (about 60 yrs old, if memory serves) would have the nurse put his 'member' into a urinal, and hold it there, so he could pee (and surprisingly enough, they had been doing it). I went in, and he looked up at me (now, it should be noted that he had full use of his hands, and while he was not able to walk, he certainly could do the job sans-assistance) and said "You're not female!" (I had -as always- introduced myself to each of my patients when my shift began -this was a few hours into the 12 hour shift) -I said 'correct.' -he said, "I always have a nurse help me pee." -I told him that as far as I was concerned, that was an " 'owner-operator' function" and that he had better figure that one out, or hold it until morning, but either way was fine with me.
Oddly enough, as far as I know, he never needed a nurse to help him pee anymore.

Had a little old lady buzz me because she couldn't change the channel on the TV, and she was tired of the program she was seeing. Could I shut it off for her or get her another TV ?? (our rooms are all private, hard-wired telemetry with full-service monitors in each room) -she had craned her neck around, and was staring (not happily) at the monitor on the wall, watching her rhythm, respiratory and pulse-ox strips run by on the screen. Each time she hit the button, her lights were going on and off, but the TV buttons were at the other end. Once I turned the call-controller around, she hit the TV channels, and the TV on the wall at the end of her bed lit up, she was happy as punch and asleep in less than half an hour.

Had a guy who was up there in age, who woke up screaming and cussing, several of us converged on his room, he was rolled onto his side, tugging HARD on his foley catheter, yelling "I can't get my penis out of this hose!"

[Gromit]

Originally Posted by Adam D. RN2005

I use to work in a senior assistant facility. They gave us pagers which were activated by the call lights. Well we always see rooms in the Alzheimer's unit coming up. And we would have to go to the computer to manually reset them. Well, when I transfered into the unit I found out why we would get six or seven call lights coming on together. It seems that one of the residents was a wanderer and she would wander into each room, pull the call light and then wanderer to the next room and do the same. And in that unit there was no light above the door and since we did not use pagers up there, we never knew which rooms were set off.
After working nearly 6 months in that unit, I saw it all.
The fingerpainters, wanderers, talkers, kleptomaniac. (yes we had a Klepto on the floor). And then there was the one that insisted she was married to me and hung onto me for dear life the entire shift.
Adam
Graduate Nurse

Adam, THAT is a riot!! hehehe.
I was a tech at a facility a few years ago, and we had this lady on our floor (she had been there for quite a while) -she was nice as pie, and during the day, was pretty well oriented. At NIGHT, however, she was Houdini Encarnate. She must have worked with linen all her working life, because she had this habit of taking every sheet, bedspread, fitted sheet (towel, washcloth, etc etc) and folding it, then stacking them in neat, organized, squares. One night she did this, and (quite by accident) stacked 'em on her bed-monitor strip, so we weren't alerted (this time) when she got out of bed. I went to do an accu-check on her (she was Q2hours -ours was a diabetic specialty floor, Q 1 hr, or 2 hr was normal for us) and she was missing. Her sheets (and the ones on the empty bed next to her) were folded and stacked neatly. So were the ones from the two empty rooms down the hall. I caught her in the third room, folding the sheets for the empty bed next to the one occupied one. She walked back, saying how nice I was to come and get her so she could have her break.
This lady cried the day she was discharged, telling us all how she was going to miss us. Keeping up with her could be a royal pain, but she was such a likable person