[Ruby Vee]

I love the ones who put on the call light to complain that they can't REACH their call light.

Or the guy who shouted "HELP! HELP! HELP!" until he had about four staff members around his bed. Turns out he wanted to know where his call light was in case he needed anything. No, he didn't need anything else. Just his call light. The one that was safety-pinned to his gown!

Or the woman who called hospital administration to complain that she didn't have a callbell. Apparently the fact that it was clipped to her siderail and she had to reach OVER it to reach the phone hadn't registered!

Then there was the guy who called to report a "little green mouse, sitting there, staring at me with his beady little eyes." Turns out he had that one right -- all except the green part, and since he was dig toxic, it could well have looked green to him!

Or the woman who called to report an intruder in her room -- she was right on, too! A confused little old man was trying to crawl into bed with her!

Ruby (approaching 500 posts!)

[Shastalee99]

Originally Posted by TreetopAngel_RN

One patient rung for me to put the head of his bed up...about one inch. As I was leaving the room his light came on again...to lower the head of the bed. I handed him the control and told him to adjust the bed where he wanted it. He told me, I can't see it, I'm almost blind. I showed him that the buttons were raised and any pointing up would raise and any pointing down would lower and to have fun with discovery.

I have had calls to move the bedside table an inch over, too. Any number of things that people can do for themselves. They get upset with me when I remind them it's a rehab unit and they need to do these things for themselves.

Those are day to day requests on my floor. God forbid a patient really needs something a bit more important 2 doors down...but they're the most important of course...

[nurse_ange1]

I'm just graduated from my nursing degree program, and I worked for 3 1/2 years of my 4 years as a health care aide at a nursing home during the night shift. I can totally relate to the guy who wants you to wipe..... his wife does it, why wont I???? Hmm... lets think about that. And of course I've had the guy who wants his bed repositioned, his pillow fluffed, his tissue box closer, his ice water colder....there should be a limit to the number of times one is allowed to enter a patient room for non-emergency reasons in one hour (I think 17 call bell rings from the same person in one hour is a bit much don't you?)
BUT nothing trumps the little ol' lady who could get get to the bathroom by herself and back but called me to "scratch her butt cuz it's itchy." She was totally serious, and serously not happy when I refused. I couldn't make this one up if I tried. Needless to say she got the "I'm here to do what you cannot do for yourself, and I think you can do that for yourself. But I can get you some barrier cream if you think that will help." OMG....

Don't get me wrong... I love my residents. And I would do anything for them that the actually "needed" so long as that need is not a full time maid.

[StuPer]

While I was in training on a surgical ward we had a guy come in for a routine scheduled operation. He walked onto the ward carrying a bag with his nightwear etc. and after ward administration was shown to his bed. He drew the curtains, got into his pyjamas and sat down on the chair at the side of the bed.
10 minutes later we get a call to this mans bed.... my preceptor and I go to the bed draw the curtain and he say's straight faced "can you help me into bed I can't do it on my own"... the look on the face of my preceptor was worth money alone, but the language she used to indicate he could get into his own damn bed, suddenly injected his backside with a rush of adrenaline and lo he flew into bed.... funnily enough he was very quiet for the remainder of his stay in the hospital.
regards StuPer

[elizabells]

Before I came to nrsg school I was a legal assistant at a small law firm, where I swear, I had to explain how to use the fax machine at least four times a day. I used to say that once I was a nurse, at least I'd be taking care of people who had an excuse for not being able to wipe their own @$$!

[teelee]

My favorite was an elderly man that went through every staff member asking if they were an RN. I happened to be the RN near by and He took me into the bathroom to show me he had passed a rather large amount of stool. :hatparty:


This actually helped my practice though. Now when I need to evaluate and assess such things, I tell patients to play show and tell with an RN. The accurate information is then attainable in the end. (My co-workers don't always appreciate it but my documentation is enhanced.

[TreetopAngel_RN]

Then I got the call from the fella who couldn't get his covers pulled up...there he was lying in the bed with his seatbelt still fastened and the wheelchair still attached to him.

I'll probably be able to come up with more...funny how you can forget the funny things.

[kmchugh]

At a hospital where I used to work, the staff on one floor was notorious for both incompetence and laziness. One night, paramedics from the county fire department showed up at the nurse's desk on this floor. It seems a patient, having rung his call light and waiting for more than an hour for his nurse to bring him some pain medicine, he finally dialed 911 to ask for an ambulance to take him to a "real hospital" before "these imposters" killed him.

Kevin McHugh

[Adam D. RN2005]

Originally Posted by elizabells

Before I came to nrsg school I was a legal assistant at a small law firm, where I swear, I had to explain how to use the fax machine at least four times a day. I used to say that once I was a nurse, at least I'd be taking care of people who had an excuse for not being able to wipe their own @$$!

This makes me think of the female patient who was embarrassed for me after wiping her. She stated "it must be so degrading to have to wipe someones @$$." I replied with "In any profession you have to do some @$$ wiping. In this profession, it is literal instead of figuirative."

Adam
I Graduate TODAY!! Yeah!!!

[madwife2002]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldoer

I once had a patient who called me to the room to wipe his butt because he did not wipe his own butt at home....his wife did. (I'm not kidding about this)

That same patient would call me to his room to pull the bedside table closer to him, and pour him a cup of cold water. He didn't have to do this for himself at home. His wife did it, or their "help" did it.

Was he too sick to wipe his own butt and get his own water? No. He was a walky-talky dressed in a silk robe and jammies who could do everything for himself if he wanted to. He didn't want to.

I have to ask did you wipe it for him lol