[butterphlyrn]

I had just gotten a patient extubated and gave him his call light so he could call me if he needed me. I left the room he put his light on. I went in and asked him what it was that he needed and he said... Yeah who won the football game last night. I told him I didn't know and put ESPN on his TV. A few minutes later he called again. I went in He said they just had the scores on the tv and he missed it he asked again if I new....

The other one I loved is when I handed a patient the call light and told them to call me if they needed anything. I left the room and the light went on.. I went in to see what they wanted and their reply was "Just checking"

[texas_lvn]

Originally Posted by dian57

I work in the headquarters (we call it the Mother Ship) of a multi-facility LTC organization. I had a young-ish Parkinson's resident whose symptoms manifested more like Michael J. Foxx than your typical "frozen" type. He had a penchant for nudity, the more public, the better.

Onto my unit marches my CEO on day, asking where this resident's room is. I direct her and follow her (to see what bizarre thing is going on with this guy NOW). She knocks and we enter to see his gyrating naked self, butt in the air, legs spread, on the carpet. He looks at us from between his legs (quite the picture) and tells her his urinal is full.

Apparently, he called her office and demanded to see her immediately.

Did she empty it? Haha I would have loved to see the look on her face!

[LLLRN]

LOL...LOL...Thanks for the best laugh I have had all day!

Originally Posted by dian57

I work in the headquarters (we call it the Mother Ship) of a multi-facility LTC organization. I had a young-ish Parkinson's resident whose symptoms manifested more like Michael J. Foxx than your typical "frozen" type. He had a penchant for nudity, the more public, the better.

Onto my unit marches my CEO on day, asking where this resident's room is. I direct her and follow her (to see what bizarre thing is going on with this guy NOW). She knocks and we enter to see his gyrating naked self, butt in the air, legs spread, on the carpet. He looks at us from between his legs (quite the picture) and tells her his urinal is full.

Apparently, he called her office and demanded to see her immediately.

[LLLRN]

I had a walkie-talkie patient that was admitted to the room her family donated to the hospital call me to put a straw that was on her bedside table into her juice. She called me a few minutes later to move her slippers closer to the bed. She told me she had a "girl" at home to do for her. She used the call bell once again to complain that we didn't have enough cable channels.
I felt like I was on nursing Candid Camera.

[kiyatylese]

I had an older patient press the call light to tell us that she had passed gas!!! She had the whole unit laughing all day long.
Of course we have call lights going off from rooms without patients also...

[bethin]

Weirdest? The time I answered a call light because the pt. wanted me to get the dancing, giggling little girls off the ceiling so she could sleep. And then she proceeded to do an imitation of them giggling. Creeped me out.

Total waste of my time? When a 24 yo walky talky can't put his own penis in the urinal.

[HONEYBEAR]

Keep em' coming guys

[Nurse-o-holic]

My personal favorite was a very large gentleman calling us (on a night shift) to come and 'look at something'...only to discover when we got down there he wanted to show off the battleship he just sank in the toilet bowl. I'm not even kidding, he was SO proud! (as an aside, we actually had to call maintainance on-call to unplug the toilet afterward...)

Another memorable was the dearest little confused lady who was using her call bell to play jeopardy on TV and was annoyed that 'the other fella' was winning. Even after being re-oriented, the bell was still ringing every 5 seconds.

[Hellllllo Nurse]

I have had a lot of experiences similar to what many posters on this thread have had. Such as: a pt calling to show off the size of his BM, and pt calling to "see how long it takes you to get here." I told him it will be different every time, depending on what's going on. I have even had a pt ask me if they were dead yet. Jeez- Have I worked with all of you?

I've even had the pt that screams "nurse, nurse!" At the TOP of her lungs, all night for the rest of her life. She was deaf, blind and demented.

She would shout "turn out the light" for the first few hrs of the shift.We would try to tell her the light was already out, but it was no use. We've all had those pts who are sooo deaf that you have to bend over, put your mouth right next to their ear and scream til your veins pop out of your neck.

Every evening after it got dark, she would switch to screaming "nurse" all night long. Towards the end of her life, she became even more confused- she started yelling "turn out the nurse" all night long. No kidding.



When pts are actively dying in hospice w/ their families sitting at there beside for hours w/ nothing to do, the family members often start obssessing over nothing.

For instance, many times I've had family members of a non-responsive pt ring the call light and say things like "her little finger just twitched. What does that mean?!"

Another time, a family member rang the light and wanted me to make arrangments to have someone go over to her house and clean up the dog poop in her yard. She said "well, Ive been here every evening after work. My yard is getting full of poop. What am I supposed to do?"

True story!

[Adam D. RN2005]

Last night, a group of us were standing by the nurses station, when a pt called in, and for about ten minutes b*t*hed and moaned about her roommate having a party with 20 people. And that they were spilling beer on here and that she wanted us to call the police to get rid of the "young wipersnappers" and arrest them. We were all trying real hard not to laugh. The funny thing was the pt was in the room alone and did not speak.