[TriageRN_34]

So a doctor sees that his clinic isn't getting enough business so he asks the nurses what he may do to improve the office...

A nurse pops up and says..."well doc, improve the lobby to make it calming and soothing..and add some plants..and maybe an exotic bird!"

The doc loved the idea..and got right on it!

He spent a fortune on the lobby...a fortune on the plants..and by the time he got to the bird..he was strapped....

So he asked his friend about birds..and the guy knew of one parrot going cheep! So he said...'get it for me!'. The guy got it for him and billed him....

So, little did the doc know this discount bird was from a house of ill repute! And the bird would see a matronly looking woman and say...."my madam my madam"....

Then he would see a nice young lady and say "another girl..newbie..you newbie!"....

This went on forever..yet the bird never said anything to men that came in...untill....

A man came in, nicely dressed young guy with stunning EVERYTHING..and the bird said "Hello Steve! Hello Steve!". The doc noticed but said nothing...but did giggle a bit in private along with all the nurses!

Then the doctors wife came in to take the doc for dinner...and the bird said, instead of the usual...

"Hey ya Fran..pretty Fran...Steve is here, better get the leopard skin teddy!"

DOHHHHHHHHH! LOL

[gretchendance]

This lady has a turtle, and the turtle dies. She's heartbroken. She brings the dead turtle in to the vet's office. "Doctor, doctor, what's wrong with my turtle?" Vet examines. "Lady, your turtle's dead." "Oh, I just can't believe that! I need a second opinion." So the vet goes to the back room and comes out followed by a Labrador Retriever. Dog goes over, sniffs the turtle, turns and walks back out. "Lady, your turtle's dead," says the vet. "Oh no!! It just can't be true! Can I have one more opinion?" So the vet goes to the back room and comes out followed by a big tom cat. Cat goes over, sniffs the turtle, turns around and lumbers on out. "Lady," says the vet, "your turtle's dead. You've just gotta accept it." "Oh, OK. Breaks my heart but you must be right. Now what do I owe you?" "$452," says the vet.
"$452?? Why so much?" "Well, my bill is only $52. The other $400 is for the lab tests and the cat scan."

This patient's husband was just full of well-delivered little jokes for the nurses. Very refreshing to find, and offered freely without being intrusive.

[BSNtobe2009]

Ok, this one is a true story:

A friend that I have in NY has a neighbor that has a parrot. His apartment is has a window on the busy side of a street, and guess what his parrot can immitate?

Car alarms, various types, police sirens, ambulance, the 'honk' of various horns including the fire truck, knocking of the door, and the occasional, "Hey, get the F**k outta my way!".

Now, just when you think it couldn't get any crazier...a few weeks ago the Parrot learned a new sound...one he has been hearing alot in the apartment.

The Parrot's owner has a bed, that let's say, is very squeeky, and a girlfriend he has been seeing for a year....I think further explanation is unnecessary