[Future LPN Sheryl]

Subject: Nurses

Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?
A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at work anymore!

You know you're a nurse if...You believe every patient needs TLC:
> >Thorazine,Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one
night.

You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.

Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town
by heart.

You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock Almost everything can seem
humorous...eventually.

When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your
shoes.

Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors
and clamps in your pockets
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing you
than he can.

You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to
deliver.
You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and
triggers "flash backs."

You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if
someone from the Hospital/Agency is trying to call to ask you to work.
You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table
throw up.

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a
nurse.

Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them
on you.

You can intubate your friends at parties, You don't get excited about blood
loss...unless it's your own.

You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the
physician is more difficult."

You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to
HOLLER if they need help.

Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the
answer.

You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting
lines.

You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break,
sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop
near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.
.

[judy ann]

Yes. DNR on the sternum, No IV on the anticubitals, the carotids, and the subclavians. On the belly, NO Tubes, and on the mons, no foley. I think I have covered all bases.

[scrappy]

ROFLMBO!!!!! What's sad is most of these are true!!!

[micro]

the nurse that died and went to hell and it took her/him.......


ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

AND THANKS FOR ALL THE REST!!!!!!!!!