Here are some new medications for women:
Damitol- take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to eight hours
St. Mom's Wort- plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to 6 hours
Empty Nestrogen- highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful your kids were as teenagers, and how you couldn't wait until the moved out
Peptobimbo- liquid silicone for single women. 2 full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting (gotta help us guys out
)
Dumerol- when taken with peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, causing enjoyment of country-western music
Antiboyotics- when administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on makeup
Menicillin- potent antiboyotic for older women, increases resistance to such lines as "You make me want to be a better person. . .can we get naked now?"
All are meant in good fun, I mean no disrespect to anyone.
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