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New Medications For Women



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  #1  
Old Sep 24, 2002, 06:14 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2001
Talking New Medications For Women

NEW MEDICATIONS FOR WOMEN

S t . M o m ' s W o r t

Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
_______________ _______________
E m p t y N e s t r o g e n

Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
______________________________
P e p t o b i m b o

Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
_______________ ______________
D u m e r o l

When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q. causing enjoyment of country western music.
_______________ ______________
F l i p i t o r

Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
_______________ _______________
A n t i b o y o t i c s

When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades,freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up.
_____________________________
M e n i c i l l i n

Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"
_______________ ______________
B u y a g r a

Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree.
______________________________
Extra Strength Buy-One-all

When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
______________________________
J a c k A s s p i r i n

Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
_____________________________
A n t i - t a l k s i d e n t

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
_______________ _______________
S e x c e d r i n

More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
_______________ _______________
R a g a m e t

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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  #2  
Old Sep 24, 2002, 06:29 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2001

Clever - taking it to work tomorrow

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  #3  
Old Sep 28, 2002, 04:23 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2002

Do you suppose JackAsspirin is effective against headaches caused by doctors?

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  #4  
Old Sep 30, 2002, 06:08 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2002

Good one

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  #5  
Old Sep 30, 2002, 06:31 AM
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2002

LOVE This

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  #6  
Old Oct 09, 2002, 03:12 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2002

That is too cool ....have to take it to work tonoc.....ROTFL

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  #7  
Old Oct 10, 2002, 04:15 AM
debbyed's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2001


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  #8  
Old Oct 10, 2002, 04:32 AM
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2000
Re: New Medications For Women

Originally posted by andylane78

_____________________________
A n t i - t a l k s i d e n t

A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.

OH! OH! I need this one!

Heather

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