[Franemtnurse]

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to
start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've
come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting
you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a
specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in
and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked
Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed.
Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can
really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions and
I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be
pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped
Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the
top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her
handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work
with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith
the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde
Park to get the job done right. People were crowding
around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened
in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three
hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and
yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness
approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally,
when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,
I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually
chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod
so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for
action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

[shinyblue.rn]

[that's a good one! QUOTE=Franemtnurse]

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to

start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've
come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting
you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a
specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in
and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked
Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub,
one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed.
Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can
really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work
for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different positions and
I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be
pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped
Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be
disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the
top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her
handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when
you consider their mother was so difficult to work
with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith
the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde

Park to get the job done right. People were crowding
around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened
in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three
hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and
yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness
approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally,
when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,
I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually
chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod
so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's
much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for
action. Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"


[/quote]

[nursebedlam]

good one

[ExquisiteRevelation]

[MandyInMS]

lol...