[Angie O'Plasty, RN]

I got one elderly male patient all cleaned up and changed the bedding and I was about to put the gown on him when he announced, "I don't want to wear anything. I want to be naked."

"Fine," I replied. I grabbed a hand towel and meant to say, "This will help prevent any problems," because he was incontinent, but what came out was, "Here, this will cover up your little problem" and tossed it atop his privates.

Behind the curtain, the other patient guffawed, and my patient protested, "Little problem?"

Backpedalling, I said, "No, I didn't mean 'little' as in you, I meant... " Both guys were whooping with laughter by now, and thoroughly enjoying my embarrassment, "Oh fer pete's sake, you know what I meant."

The second patient stopped laughing long enough to comment, "Thanks, that was better than a comedy show."

[grace90]

Originally Posted by Mannursemike

Being the brilliant student nurse that i am, i recently asked a man with an ostomy "when was your last bowel movement?"

He looked at me like 'you gotta be kidding me'! He then replied, "before my surgery"

I did that with a patient on POD#2, after having an emergency colostomy.

[peridotgirl]

what does POD mean?

[Angie O'Plasty, RN]

Originally Posted by peridotgirl

what does POD mean?

Post-op day.

[squeakykitty]

One time in high school my friend said "Oh" followed by the F-word. I wasn't listening and thought she was telling me to "Hurry up!".

I answered her with "I am, I am!!"

It took me quite a while to live that one down.

[squeakykitty]

Originally Posted by Ehope

These are great!

In my office we use a computer system with the unfortunate acronym of WANG that crashes and freezes at least once a day.

One day I hear my very straight-laced older male co-worker yell to the guy sitting in the cubicle across from him: "Hey Stan, is your WANG up? I can't seem to get mine going."

I thought I was gonna die laughing.

I don't think this guy will ever live this down.

[grace90]

At the end of a busy night shift, I paged a hospitalist for something, and when he returned my call I answered and heard something about how someone was gonna take some toys of his. I guess I was slap-happy cuz I said "Hey, I'll take your.......". SILENCE
I'm thinking Oh, @#$%, now I've done it. I didn't mean it in any flirtatious way, but it certainly ended up sounding that way. Sure this doc is a hotty, but I don't make it a habit to flirt with docs, especially ones I talk to so often.

[BabySweetpea]

I was in a room with 4 male patients in it. I had one man in the bathroom at the sink brushing his teeth, but I had to empty a foley on my other patient, but the urinal was in the bathroom on the back of the toilet. So I said outside the door "hey "bob"(not real name), you decent, can I come grab something?", as soon as it came out of my mouth I knew I what I had said. Well, the other man that had nothing to do with any of this said from his bed, "can I go in the bathroom next?" HAHAHA! Boy did they all laugh at me for two days. I was so embarassed!!!!

[Indy]

So I got out of my outpatient procedure, sitting in a wheelchair, still very drunk but good to be driven home, and in walks the cardiologist who most intimidated me when I was a brand new nurse. Tall guy, humongous round-lensed glasses. The thing that had made me "get over" myself when I worked there was the one patient telling me he reminded her of tweety bird.

So I looked up, he looked right at me, I yelled, "heeeeyyyyy Tweety Bird, doncha speak?!" WTH. Ahh well I don't have to call that doc and wake him up anymore so I guess it's ok.

[jakay RN]

thats soo funny