[Kunzieo]

Way back in the day when I first started...

We have circle units. Handy, but slighly confusing, as the signs are between 2 rooms, and, well, the circles used to make me dizzy...but anyhow...

I went downstairs to grab some pneumo-boots and a pump. I walked into room 30 and announced to the nurse and the patient..."Didja order up some boots? Here they are!"
Nurse C burst out laughing and informed me that they were for the room next door, as the patient she was with was a double BKA.
Ooops.

[mindyg22]

Just bookmarking....these are funny!

[weezledawg]

Just last night a young man I work with on Med-Surg had a patient die. He calls the patient's mother and considerately asks her, "Is there any special postpartum care you would like us to provide your son?"

Poor boy was mortified.

OMG ALMOST DIED LAUGHING! Sucks it was about someone who died but still very funny...

[Diary/Dairy]

poor guy - sometimes those things just slip out~

[nursing is a joke]

I told this joke to a doctor who was getting on my nerves.

A group of people were on a bus and unfortunetly the bus crashed, killing all on board.

While waiting in line to get into heaven one passenger, at the end of the line, noticed that there was a very rude and abusive man in heaven who was screaming, yelling and insulting everyone in heaven.

When the person at the end of the line reached the pearly gates he asked the angel at the entrance, "Who is that abusive man and what is he doing in heaven?"

The angel said, " Oh, that's God, he thinks he's a doctor."

When the Dr. told me he didn't like the joke........... I asked him how he spelled his last name......... "G-O-D" He didn't like that either.

I reminded the Dr. that he pulls down his pants and sits on the toilet just like everyone else......... so if you don't want me to be rude to you....... don't be rude to me.

He has been nicer to me ever since.

[Franemtnurse]

Originally Posted by diarygirl512

poor guy - sometimes those things just slip out~

yes they do indeed. Now I'll tell you what I told my new doc when I first met him.

I said, "As one professional to another, (I think that part fell on deaf ears as I was only thinking about the ten body systems)I have one system that's perfectly intact. It's my reproductive system." His face turned cherry red. I apologized to him on my next visit, and he told me it was embarassing.

I still get teased by the office personnel about being his only patient who has made him blush.

[JaredCNA]

I work nights so when we get an admit from the ER they tend to come either right at change of shift (either 2300 or 0700). I'm always in a rush at that time, so often if it is a male pt who has no order for a catheter, I will help the nurse by bringing the pt a cup, a water pitcher and a urinal.

One time I made the mistake of saying, "Now, this one is for you to drink out of, and this one is for you to pee in. Don't confuse the two."

Just when I thought the pt was going to bust out laughing his wife looked at me and said, "That's not very funny, he drank out of his urinal by mistake when he was here a few days ago."

I never asked if there was water or urine in the urinal...or if there was water in it, had it once had urine it. And I really didn't care to know the answer. LOL

[grace90]

I was tired one night and in with a pt with a lot of pain, so I picked up her ice bag and tried to tell her "I'm gonna go refill your ice bag" but instead I turned vowels around and it came out "I'm gonna go refill your @$$ pike". Thank good for slightly HOH pt's! She was so miserable I don't think she heard me.

[JaredCNA]

In order to get an accurate weight on a pt, our beds must be zeroed out...so we have to weigh them with nothing on them but a sheet, a bedspread, a blanket, and a gown.

Well we got an admit from the ER and no one had zeroed the bed. The nurse asked me to help her get the pt over to the chair so that we could zero the bed.

Knowing nothing about the pt, I walked in the room with the nurse and said "Okay, we're gonna help you walk over to the chair so we can zero your bed and put a weight in the computer." Lo and behold as I pulled back the sheets, I saw that the pt had bilat AKA's.

I thought she didn't hear me and that I was okay because she was quiet, then as we went to lift her she said, "well it must be nice to walk over to a chair. I wouldn't know."

:-(

[Suninmyheart]

When I was a nursing student I was fluffing up someone's pillows and getting them settled in for the night. He had been having insomnia the previous few nights and when leaving the room I said "I hope you rest in peace tonight" Gulp! He gave me quite the shocked look.