[merry nurse]

I once had a colonoscopy by a DR. Auger..... My girlfriend breaks up with her boyfriend. Next day I go on and on about how she really is lucky to be rid of him, that he is homely, etc. He was standing in the corner of the room listening. They had made up..... I was preaching to some c.n.a.s about how we were derived from a one cell organism, and said (orgasm). oops.

[mtymom]

Originally Posted by nekhismom

Fran, I often answer my phone, "house of beauty, this is cutie!" I usually get loud laughs.

My name is Jennifer, sometimes I answer my phone "Jen's mule barn, head mule speaking. I get a lot of laughs from that one.

[student4ever]

Originally Posted by MsDolfinn

To this day I can't say Outback Steakhouse properly on the first try. It always comes out 'Outhouse Steakback'. My friends have taken to asking me to "Meet them in the Outhouse for a quickie...dinner that is."

When we're at work, the girls and I frequently reverse the beginnings of words so we can "safely" use swear words (ie it's a mell of a hess in here!) - folks don't try this at home!!

one day I was wearing a lace bra, which I knew I shouldn't have worn because it would ITCH!!! I was trying to say, I can't wait to get out of this itchy "bucking fra," but since I was used to saying "bucking fra" and was thinking I needed to "spoonerize it," I ended up saying loudly enough for the whole ed, waiting room included that "I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF THIS ITCHY ****ING BRA!!!!" I'm still surprised that the waiting room full of conservative little old folks (we have a lot of mennonites in our area) didn't suddenly all develop chest pain and diaphoresis!
I usually only open my mouth to switch feet!
xxx

[TDub]

When I was about 10, my mother told me I looked like the wrath of God. (Hair uncombed, sleep wrinkles on face, etc.) I looked all confused and asked, "Who's Aratha Gopp?"


Forever after, it's been 'Aratha Gopp' in my family if you look like hell.

[Franemtnurse]

Originally Posted by mtymom

My name is Jennifer, sometimes I answer my phone "Jen's mule barn, head mule speaking. I get a lot of laughs from that one.

When I'm in my silly mood, I sometimes answer the phone with, "Fearless Fanny's House of Pleasure. How may I help you today?" After I say that, there's usually silence on the other end.

[prmenrs]

My dad used to answer the phone: "Curly's Bar and Grill, Curly's not here." He got laughs even if it was the Admiral calling.

[lionkore]

my sister, "Kristy," (not her real name), is a unit clerk on the med-surg floor of the hospital where I work. she's used to answering the phone with excellent customer service: "med-surg, this is Kristy, can I help you?"

well one frazzled day, lots of admits, transfers, lost paperwork, missing dietary trays, she picks up the phone to answer an outside caller (a pt's family member), and shows her true feelings: "med-surg, this is Kristy, can you help me?"

[leopold]

one time when I was working as a cna I was going over the bath sheets with the nurse and she said did this patient get a bath? And I said...Whoa! Hold on a second -- someone next door to me just had a very loud orgasm... anyway, I said, yes I gave X a bath. She looked at me funny and said what? And I said I gave X a bath. Then I realized that X was the name of one of my fellow cnas. After that whenever he was around she would just look at me and smirk.

[lady_jezebel]

Originally Posted by Rapheal

My McDonalds story. I was waiting in the drive thru a very long time. Had my neices in the car with me. I was trying to be in a pleasant mood and when we pulled up to get our food I said " A little short handed today?" The man at the window just looked at me without responding. He starts to hand me our food. He has a deformity where both his arms basically in stubs. I was mortified.

Dead silence in the car as we pull out. My neice says "Good going Auntie". The other neices break out in laughter. I will never forget it.

Oh, my goodness. What dumb luck. How mortifying for you. I can't believe I just laughed my a-- off, for that's sad really. I'm ashamed of myself...

[lady_jezebel]

Originally Posted by msonurse

I was getting report from a nurse I did not know and she told me my patient had had a bilateral lobectomy and I looked at her and said "Oh my gosh! Both ears?!!!!!!!!" She did not think it was funny.

too, too funny