[TweetiePieRN]

As a student nurse I was explaining to a male patient about how I was going to give him a suppository. He was a tall cowboy-like gentleman. His eyes got all big and he said..."I've never had a woman stick her finger up my a$$ before". I was kinda embarrassed. The next thing to come out of my mouth...."Well, there's a 1st time for everything". We both laughed and then he got his suppository!

[Angela Mac]

Originally Posted by Traumamama59

I was assisting our ER doc with a pelvic on a patient (not one of my favorite ER jobs) and the patient decided that she "itched" down there. That wouldn't have been so bad, but then she asked the doc if he would scratch that "itch" while he was down here!

That doc didn't dare look at me or we have both fell over laughing! I still give that doc a bad time about that, even though he is the hospital medical director now.

Pam

That was great. I probably would not have been able to keep the laughter in. I was assisting a D.O with a pap and I could not believe what he said.......
He said, "you are not a natural blond." My mouth opened in shock.

[Franemtnurse]

I'm extremely sensitive to meds. When I was on the vent in ICU a couple years ago, I guess I gave them a hard time, because I had restraints on both wrists. I was in there 2 weeks.
After I was transferred to acute care, my daughter began telling me some very embarassing stories. The first one was (and I have no idea how I managed to do it) I call her number, and left the following message on her answering machine. "Laurell, you better not put your feet on the floor! A green monster is waiting to grab your tootsies! How do I know? My feet are sticking out."

I was also told the following day I did that, I again called her number. My son-in-law answered, and I sang Polly Wolly Doodle to him." He then hung up the phone, and said to Laurell, "You know what your mom just did? She replied, "Hard to tell." Then he told her I sang Polly Wolly Doodle to him, to which he added, "Ya know, I think they've legalized the use of medical marijhuana in that hospital, and are giving some to your mom."

Incident number 3 occured a few days later. I have a nurse friend who at the time, worked at a local physicians group. She was the triage nurse at the time. I called her at that office, and told her to help me with I don't remember what, and then said, "You have pull."

Incident number 4 I phoned another friend. When she answered, I said, "DEEP!" She asked again, what I was trying to tell her. I said, "DEEP!" After the third time of her telling me to say what I wanted because she was in a hurry, I said, "DEEP!"

After I was discharged, I sent for my medical records. On one page, a femail physician, and a very nice person, quoted, "I stood there for a half hour trying to descipher what she was saying. When I asked her a question, she would answer with a totally off the wall remark. Nothing she said made any sense." I asked my daughter about that, and she told me when I was asked a question, I would reply with an answer to a question that was asked far earlier.

[a_crftyldy]

Originally Posted by Frances LeMay

I'm extremely sensitive to meds. When I was on the vent in ICU a couple years ago, I guess I gave them a hard time, because I had restraints on both wrists. I was in there 2 weeks.
After I was transferred to acute care, my daughter began telling me some very embarassing stories. The first on was (and I have no idea how I managed to do it) I call her number, and left the following message on her answering machine. "Laurell, you better not put your feet on the floor! A green monster is waiting to grab your tootsies! How do I know? My feet are sticking out."

I was also told the following day I did that, I again called her number. My son-in-law answered, and I sang Polly Wolly Doodle to him." He then hung up the phone, and said to Laurell, "You know what your mom just did? She replied, "Hard to tell." Then he told her I sang Polly Wolly Doodle to him, to which he added, "Ya know, I think they've legalized the use of medical marijhuana in that hospital, and are giving some to your mom."

omg, that is toooooo funny! I sat here laughing so hard over that

[Rapheal]

"Would you please stop talking so loud!" From an 80 year old HOH woman without her hearing aides.

[ham22]

Originally Posted by dragonladymlb

I work in surgery. We had a 80 something little lady on our table for a local cystoscopy. I had prepped and draped her then the young good looking urologist sat between her legs which where in stirrups. Then she raised up on her elbows and told him, "You'er the cutest thing I've had between my legs in years." We all about died laughing while he turned beet red and sputtered "thank you."

That is the funniest thing I've heard in a looooooong time! Thanks for the laugh!

[RNtoJD]

Originally Posted by ham22

That is the funniest thing I've heard in a looooooong time! Thanks for the laugh!

Ditto!!

[DZcarrie]

i had a very elderly man in a wheelchair tell me yesterday:

"you're a very nice looking lady. You would have to watch out if i was 12 years younger!"

realizing that it just may be a few years more than that, he corrected himself.

"12 years...no....more like 20!"


i'm 23. he's 85.

[tshering dema]

well, i dont have anything to say for myself but i loved the jokes you guys told .. let me guess and tell someother day .. i am new in here .love you all

[HyperRNRachel]

I do not know if this is knee slapping funny but it is definitely cute. I had an 87 y/o male CVA, I was in his room with his nurse giving him meds. He looked at me and asked (kind of hard to understand d/t the stroke, but I made it out o.k.) how old did I think he was? I had read his chart and knew exactly how old he was, but I answered ..."well, I do not know how old you are BUT you look 67". His eyes lite up, and with the biggest smile possible, he says in a very flirtatious way.....I'm 68! I was very impressed that he still had his sense of humor. The other nurse asked him if he was flirting with me...he just smiled.

Helping a classmate change another patient's diaper, the lady asked us ..."aren’t yall tired of me *******" ? I love when patient have a good sense of humor.