[funnygirl_rn]

> > > "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have
> been with a loose woman."

> > > > The priest asks, "Is that you, Tommy
> Shaughnessy?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Yes, Father, it is."
> > > >
> > >
> > > > "And, who was the woman you were with?"
> > > >
> >
> > > > "Sure and I can't be telling you, Father. I
> don't want to be ruining her reputation."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or
> later, so you may as well be telling me now. Was it
> Brenda O'Malley?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "I cannot say."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Was it Patricia Kelly?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "I'll never tell."
> > > >
> > >
> > > > "Was it Liz Shannon?"
> > > >
> > > > "I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Was it Cathy Morgan?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "My lips are sealed."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a
> steadfast
> > > > lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that.
> But you've
> > > > sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend
> church
> > > > for three months. Now be off with you Lad."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean
> slides over and whispers,
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "What'd you get?"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Three months vacation and five good leads."

[sanakruz]

OY!

[nialloh]

The New Alphabet for Older People
------------------------------------------------
A's for arthritis
B's for bad back
C's for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention)
And other gastrointestinal glitches
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches
J is for joints that are failing to flex
L for libido--what happened to sex?
Wait! I forgot about K for bad knees
(I've got a few gaps in my M-memory)
N's for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteo-
P's for porosis
Q is for queasiness. Fatal? Just flu?
R is for reflux--one meal becomes two
S is for sleepless nights counting my fears
T is for tinnitus--bells in my ears
U is for difficulties urinary
V is for vertigo
W is worry About what the X--as in X ray--will find
But through the word "terminal" rushes to mind,
I'm proud, as each
Y - year - goes by, to reveal
A reservoir of undiminished
Z - zeal---

[Good_Queen_Bess]

LOL at that alphabet!

[nowplayingEDRN]