[john privett]

1.is that thing grounded?
2.50 mgs of epinephrine, coming right up
3.360 joules didnt do the trick, so i severed the wires wires and stuck it on his tongue, hey it was a last ditch effort
4.aw c'mon doc, that guy was always complaining of chest pain
5.he said he was thirsty, so i told him to get up off his fat ass and get a drink
6.i never thought the colostomy bag would actually explode...and/or
7.but he dared me to light it
8.i thought recycling plastic iv tubing would be good for the environment
9.i wasnt being judgemental when i told the guy we'd need a colonoscopy the size of a 747 to do his flex sig
10.look, between you and me boss, this whole computer charting is so time consuming, that i figured i'd just estimate his lab values

[Terre]

I knew of a staff nurse who actually got fired for calling in sick with this excuse...
"Something came up...and it won't be down until morning."