[gonzo1]

More please. I'm laughing my arse off.

[Logan]

Hi,

This thread is funny!

Thanks,
matthew (Who has been laughing so hard his wife thinks he's gone crazy).

[shill]

How about, "I'm going to stick this in your mouth under your tongue, don't bite it, just hold it with your lips".... as you go to take an oral temp..

[Nurse`Chief~Chickie]

You won't need your underwear, but you can leave you socks on.

[Marie_LPN]

"How much tail do you want?" (asking a surgeon how much of the tail of a silicone ear patch he wants left on).

[Marie_LPN]

"Suck for me" (suctioning for a surgeon)

[Tanvi Tusti]

"Open your legs for me and try to relax, it makes it so much easier for me to get it in and is much better for you".... my little speech when preparing a woman for her pap smear!! Never thought about how that sounds before now lol

[augigi]

"This may make you gag, but just try to swallow".

Inserting NG tube.

[JBudd]

There isn't an orifice in the human body I haven't stuck a tube into.

[muffie]

roll up your sleeves and pull down your pants and lie down on the bed so i can do my thing
[put in iv and shave groins]!