[juliachloe]

"Let's go get wasted." - documenting in Pyxis the wasting of narcotics.

[JustaPatient]

I just remembered from a few years back after one of my surgeries I needed a cath insurted. I am and have always been very tickilish. I was laughing and trying to close my legs "Keep your legs open, I need to get this in there."

[grace90]

"Let me stick my hand down your pants a minute and get this".
- loosening a Flo-tech on a patient while she was wearing her pants over it

[silvergirl]

maybe i said this already...."Can I give you oral?" When being unable to tape report and you have to give the oncoming nurse verbal report......

[Jessiedog]

Originally Posted by JBudd

There isn't an orifice in the human body I haven't stuck a tube into.

AMEN SISTA!!

[Jessiedog]

A few that come to mind after reading these tonight:

A routine silly statement made by nurses when checking narcotics in our hospital was something like "And I'll drink the rest" when discarding the unneeded amount from the vial. Said this once to a new grad, only to realise how it sounded when she didn't understand. We would often make comments like this walking down the hall to double-check the patient, goodness only knows what the visitors thought...probably that all nurses were druggies.

When doing pressure care on feet and heels "I know you're sensitive, so I go hard and firm to finish quicker."

"It's easier if you don't move. Just lie quietly and it'll be over soon"

"So, where do you want it tonight?" for daily S/C heparin.

"Do you need help to finish?" from behind the curtain of a patient halfway through a sponge bath. The visitors outside didn't know where to look!!

[jeanyis]

On discharge day, doing a final head to toe assessment of a 15 year old who had just given birth to her first child and suffered a 2nd degree laceration.

Leaning down and to the side, looking at her peri area, noting that the area was healing nicely, I said, "Wow, that looks great."

[anurseuk]

Originally Posted by john privett

1.i have to stick this up your rectum
2.i need some of your urine
3.i'm going to take some of your blood
4.breathe this in and hold it
5.you have to swallow it
6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good
7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures
8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts
9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom
10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him

....how about during CPB surgeon to the perfusionist 'SUCK HARD!'

[AussieTina]

Originally Posted by Jessiedog

A few that come to mind after reading these tonight:

A routine silly statement made by nurses when checking narcotics in our hospital was something like "And I'll drink the rest" when discarding the unneeded amount from the vial. Said this once to a new grad, only to realise how it sounded when she didn't understand. We would often make comments like this walking down the hall to double-check the patient, goodness only knows what the visitors thought...probably that all nurses were druggies.!

When the next shfit comes on whoever has the DD keys always asks "Hey who wants to do drugs with me" (count the narcs) , man we have had some strange looks from families for that one HEHEHEHEHE