[Blessed2BeMommy]

Originally Posted by Jayfa

Hi guys

I had a situation in class yesterday where i was the victim of bullying by a number of other students. Briefly, they were making fun of my level of class participation. It was not in fun - it was nasty!

I have a class presentation due next week and am considering making class bullying my subject. The tutor has been advised.

So, all you students and new graduates out there, I'm doing a survey on whether you've been bullied in class and, if so, how did you deal with it?

I'm hoping that I can get my message accross to these people without having to involve the Institute and without confrontation.

I would appreciate your input. Thanks.

Oh, yeah, I've been put through the wringer. I was told to keep my mouth shut, that no one was interested in what I had to say... I was told that the problem was that I addressed the instructor instead of just "chatting" with my friends like everyone else does.

I had one girl who would put her arm out and wave her face in front of me during our clinical discussions. She would consistently cut me off if I said anything. She was extremely rude at all times. From what I understand, she was even worse behind my back and made all sorts of rude comments about me and my family. I have a recently disabled husband and six children, which is why I have to work 3-5 12-hour shifts each week while attending a full time accelerated nursing school program. I maintain a 3.70 GPA (If you look just at last block's grades it was a 4.0) and work my butt off to attend school and care for my family.

I know that my clinical instructor was horrified by it and took it to the administration who stepped in and told her to cut it out or risk being booted from the program.

But until this block, when she started to cut me off and drown me out AGAIN (and one of her little lackeys was chiming in) I finally said firmly, "Tell you what, I'll just wait until you're finished and then I'll take my turn." And I maintained eye contact with her until she apologized and allowed me to finish.

She's been much nicer to me since then.

[locolorenzo22]

Many bullies are just weak, oppourtunistic people who can't stand that someone who might just be "better" than them, would dare to think themselves above that person. However, most of us don't care and really only focus on the main goal: Our own passing and license. don't stand for abuse, but stand up for yourself! If you cannot be your own advocate, how can you advocate for patients?
Thankfully, I haven't really had to deal with this as we are all friendly to each other and our struggles. I have a few friends in clinical/class/etc who I really want to succeed so I coach a little, but I hope for them to make it through. Plus some of us are planning a 1st year spring break trip to sunny Mexico after getting jobs!! LOL

[Danish]

We HAD a few in our class, but they are gone already. Some people sit in their little clique and laugh and make smart comments, but those are the ones looking over your shoulder at clinicals and asking you all the questions. Also, after every test, they want to know what you got. I just laugh (especially when there is a curve set and they fall short )
I feel like I have a goal to reach and Im not letting anyone stand in my way. They are just in it for the short term and will not last once they/if they make it out there in the real world.

[Jayfa]

Originally Posted by Danish

We HAD a few in our class, but they are gone already. Some people sit in their little clique and laugh and make smart comments, but those are the ones looking over your shoulder at clinicals and asking you all the questions. Also, after every test, they want to know what you got. I just laugh (especially when there is a curve set and they fall short )
I feel like I have a goal to reach and Im not letting anyone stand in my way. They are just in it for the short term and will not last once they/if they make it out there in the real world.

Interesting you should say that about test results. That's exactly what happened today. The bully didn't ask - she sent one of her lackies to do it. I thought about telling her to mind her own business but didn't want to lower myself to their level so I just told her. One of my tutors approached me today and has offered to counsel me in dealing with the bullying. I'm meeting with her next week.

[Danish]

Jayfa

It is a sign of their weakness...trust me. Just do what you have to do and stay away from the ones who try to bring you down. They will be gone before you know it.

Im on lunch break right now from my peds clinical and heard 2 students talking in the parking lot. Just being nasty about another girl in the class. I wanted to say something, but just kept walking. Karma is an amazing thing

[xt1]

Some people have the worst personalities. Maybe they are trying to encourage you to participate more or maybe they really are bullies. Regardless, nursing requires us to step out of our comfort zone and to become the leader. The one who takes risks and makes choices confidently. Just remember your not there to make friends... your there to learn. If you need to work on anxiety related to poor self concept then do so but do it because you want to be the best nurse you can be and not to please your classmates.

As for the original question, I have not experienced bullying and tend not to engage in discussions related to things other than the current nursing subject being discussed.

[Lancer08]

Last semester, I watched, with amazement, one person from my clinical group, tell off another student (bullied her), on our last day. The student bully told the other student that our entire class was against her. It was horrible and it was untrue, as I let her know. God, I thought she was going to quit but she was stronger than he. The cliques in nursing school are awful, they cause these problems and it's usually ONE person that's steering the wheel and setting the others off. These types of personalities are present at every level of nursing. What is even more discerning is that I have friends that are not involved in nursing but are very much aware of how cruel nurses are to each other. Unfortunately, there are many instructors who run unchecked with the same attitudes leading to the loss of many future nurses. When is this going to cease?
I am sorry that you were bullied by you classmates and your supervisors or your instructors.....but there are many nurses out there that are keenly in touch with this behavior. As a student, you will come in contact with alot of them when you are doing your clinical rotation in the hospital. If if were not for those nurses, I think I would have have an even dimmer view.

[moongirl]

Originally Posted by Jayfa

Interesting you should say that about test results. That's exactly what happened today. The bully didn't ask - she sent one of her lackies to do it. I thought about telling her to mind her own business but didn't want to lower myself to their level so I just told her. One of my tutors approached me today and has offered to counsel me in dealing with the bullying. I'm meeting with her next week.

" the test? Oh I did really well again, 98%. How about you?"

good luck, stand up for yourself and dont let them see you sweat.

[Jayfa]

Originally Posted by moongirl

" the test? Oh I did really well again, 98%. How about you?"

good luck, stand up for yourself and dont let them see you sweat.

I got 88%. Lucky in China, but I should have done better. First one though, so the next one I'm determined to blitz. Congrats on your score

[miss arron]

good lord hon... i'd start a new job search. that's an uber-toxic environment. i don't know you find the strength to keep going back

Originally Posted by CRNI-ICU20

So...to answer your question...of were any of us bullied....
Yes...I have been....
Alot in nursing...
When I first rec'd my RN...a supervisor made fun of me in front of other nurses that since I didn't attend a traditional nursing school, "I must have received my nursing degree in the mail"...and walked off and laughed...
I graduated number two in the state that year...and no...it was just as hard if not harder to do it the way I did....but I did it to save myself and my children who had been abandoned by my ex (their father)
On another occasion, I was ganged up on by a hateful night shift bunch who used to tamper with my IV rates, (I caught one of them cranking up the pump to 999 on a CHF patient) When confronted, she lied and just said she was trying to clear the air out of the tubing...a patent lie...
I took it to my supervisor....she wasn't even reprimanded...but I started taping all my pump switches and lockouts....so I could keep a close eye on my drips....this same night shift was ruthless with others....very clique-y and backstabbing.
I went to day shift, and one night shift nurse went to the day shift RN's and told them that "you're going to have trouble with her..."
I had never been out of line with any of them...ever...
Once I was on call....and to "punish" me, they all had ONE PATIENT each...and they called me in to take a patient who had already died to do post mortem care....while they all sat on their butts and watched me...
Yup...sometimes, there are some real demented people in the nursing profession....
There have been more recent episodes....whereby a chaplain took notes on her perceptions of what I was saying to an out of control family member...I mentioned this on another thread...and painted me as some sort of jerk to this family member....then took it to my boss...who then called me in her office an proceded to reem me out...
There was and incident where a lab person began to yell at me over the phone, so I just hung up on her, and was told by my supervisor that "this does not reflect the values of _______Hospital. "....to which I said,"her yelling doesn't relfect my personal values of taking care of myself...and if she yells at me again...I will hang up on her again....there is nothing in my job description that says I have to listen to that" and "when you write a policy that says I have to....then I will."
She backed off...but I know that this will somehow be woven into my yearly eval....which is just another way to bully someone...demean and tear them down...
I think the spirit of this is all about CONTROL....
Keeping person cowered and subjugated is the name of the game with these people.