[Transgender_n_TN]

Hi, everyone.

I finally decided to join the site. lol

I need some advice and help. I'm a 30 year old single male starting my transition to MTF transsexual. I was accepted to a BSN program and start my clinicals in Fall '09. And might have a problem when it comes time for me to start living full time as a female. The problem with my school is that it is a private Christian school. I chose this particular school because it has one of the best nursing programs in the city. And I am transitioning while still in school because i've been informed that universities and colleges will not change names on students records AFTER you have finished a program regardless of a legal name change. It must be changed while you are in college or before graduation.

I'm not sure of how the school will deal with me transitioning. I've been told by nurses I work with who are former students of the same college that I won't be put out explicitly or overtly for being transgender, but they will do their best to ride me out of the program.

What should I do? I can't put off my transition because there are set times and accomplishments you are supposed to keep in order to transition properly. My job is not a problem, they will allow me to transition on the job.

School is another matter.

[Daytonite]

It seems to me that before I would jeopardize my place in a school, I would talk to the counselor that you are working with regarding the transgender change. Some years ago we worked with a male doctor who had surgery and became female, so he must have been able to get documents changed over OK. The next place I would go would be the state board of nursing and ask them how they deal with this because it seems to me that this is a legal issue. A lawyer would probably be the appropriate person to be asking about this. They deal with names changes and that kind of stuff. With the new same sex marriage laws now they are going to have to sort out that stuff too. I would leave the school out of it. Once you have your formal education and license, that can't be taken away.

[Transgender_n_TN]

I'm not sure if this is correct, but i've been told that once you get a legal name change your degrees don't matter. Because legally they were obtained under another name.

And I'm in the process of seeking legal counsel. The name change I can handle myself, the rest I need some help on. And my college does have a counselor, and everything discussed with her is supposed to be private and confidential. I might be making a mountain out of mole hill, but I want to make sure I can finish what I started.

[GGT1]

I believe someone gave you the wrong information regarding the "legal name change" and that a degree would not "matter". Women have name changes ALL THE TIME and their degrees still "matter".

The only question I have for you is, why not wait until after nursing school. I really think you will have a rough time going through those changes and all the drama that comes with it while in nursing school. Not to mention... a private christian school????? Sounds like you are trying to make life difficult for yourself?

[rnmomtobe2010]

I am not judging, but I am at a lost for words on this one...I hope all goes well with you, though...

[SKM-NURSIEPOOH]

Hiya Transgender,

I was wondering...is it possible to put school off until after you've finished with the transitional period? I think it would make life a little easier for you not to mention it would avoid possible sticky situations with the nursing department &/or chair.

Since this is a christian based university, they may or may not want to operate. Many there might feel put upon & that might not be a good environment for you.

Do consider discussing this with a lawyer even before talking with a school counselor. There's no reason to alert the university at this stage. Also, do follow-up with your SBON to see where they stand on the issue. I really can't see where they would have a problem, but you never know.

Good luck to ya ~ Cheers ,
Moe

[Daytonite]

Look, I know you are eager to get on with a new life, but confession isn't the way to do it. I don't have a real good opinion of most religions and I come from a Catholic background and have a bunch of cousins who are nuns and priests. I know the inside hypocrisy. I'm serious. Just clam up with regard to the school. Go to school as "Joe" and say nothing about even getting this surgery because if the religious leaders of the place get wind of it you may very well find yourself thrown out for moral reasons on their part and you don't want that, do you? Just work with your counselor and consult a lawyer, dummy up, and after you graduate, "Joe" becomes "Josephine" and there's nothing the school can do about it then. Save all your records and make copies just in case they say they lost your transcripts just to be difficult.

We would like to think that we live in a wonderful world, but you never know where bigotry is lurking, so protect yourself. Religion doesn't exempt people from bias or breaking the law. We Americans love a good fight, but I have to tell you that those fights are tiring and take a lot out of you. Try anonymity first.

[Alois Wolf]

Hey hun, it's going to be okay and I applaud your courage in doing what you feel is right in your life. This is my suggestion to you however, and you may take it or leave it:

Nursing school is a very stressful time in ones life. Making the big change is just as if not more stressful. If I were in your position I would wait until after I graduated then decide to move on to making the MTF change. Not because it would be easier to be accepted, but only because right now you should be diverted all your attention on doing well in school and once hormone therapy start and everything like that... emotions will fly.

I hope you all the best, from one of your glbt family.

P.S. I want to stress that if you decide to postpone this, it should be (in my opinion) for your OWN emotional and academic reasons, not the schools. Personally I feel you shouldn't give a damn about what they think about you. If you do decide to go through with it and they make it hard on you, you will persevere... and if they step over the line then it will become a legal issue. It makes me sad that in today's day and age we still have to worry about things like this. Just the other day there was a car in front of me all the way to school with a bumper sticker that was very homophobic and by now I've learned to just laugh at the stupidity of bigotry. You'll make it, don't worry.

[casi]

Right now I wouldn't worry about the school as much as I'd worry about making two huge life changes at once. It sounds like it would be a lot of stress to me.

However, I must say do what is best for you right now. If you think you can and need to go through both changes right now do it! You need to take care of yourself.

[Jules A]

Hi and welcome to our group,
It is a lot on your plate at once so definitely make sure there isn't an easier way to accomplish your goals. There was a transgender CNA student at my CC one year but I have no clue how difficult it might have been for her. We were in a fairly progressive city also which I'm sure helped.

Would you be able to change your name before school and start dressing/living as female during school as you undergo the process? Depending on your appearance I'm thinking you might be able to just fly under the radar and not even have to address the issue with them. I would also wounder about the emotional effects of taking hormones while under the extreme stress of nursing school. Just PMS alone was enough to do me in each month, lol. Wishing you all the best. Jules