[ibmaryann]

I sent this to another forum but I think actual students would be helpful. I will be starting Nursing in the Fall of 2006.

I just read a post that said that around half of the married students divorced during nursing school. I had another lady say that their was alot of divorces during nursing school due to stress.

My question is has everyone found this to be true? I am happily married now with two children. If this is true what suggestions do you have to help you through it.

God Bless,
Mary Ann

[WeeBabyRN]

I feel like it doesn't matter what the stats are. You know yourself and your marriage, you will keep it together if that is your goal and priority. Things haven't been as wonderful as they used to be, but I think they will go back once my sympathetic nervous system isn't always in overdrive....

[DDD]

I'm just going to say it like it is...

Don't listen to the cry babies. 50/50 divorce rate? Really. So they have the data at hand? Much Ado About Nothing. The whole "Nursing School Causes Divorce" can be a self-fulfiling prophecy if you let it. Another example of if you repeat a lie enough, it becomes the truth.

How's it any different than a job? You do a 40 or 50 hr work week. Treat it just like that. Set those hours aside, do the work, and leave it there. Don't bring it home with you.

For better or worse...don't forget it. If getting an "A" rather than a "B" is more important than your marriage, then you have the wrong priorities. If this "hard time" will cause you to divorce, then you'll be divorced whether or not go anyhow. I mean, you're going to face tough times either way. Commit to daily time with the family, and put them first (which is why you are doing this in the first place, I hope), and everything will be fine.

[Nurse-To-Be-Joy]

Don't listen to that. I'm married too, but you just have to treat nursing school like a full-time job. Remember to always put your family first, as DDD said above. Be positive and enjoy your family!

[Momto3andNurse2B]

Originally Posted by DDD

How's it any different than a job? You do a 40 or 50 hr work week. Treat it just like that. Set those hours aside, do the work, and leave it there. Don't bring it home with you.

For better or worse...don't forget it. If getting an "A" rather than a "B" is more important than your marriage, then you have the wrong priorities. If this "hard time" will cause you to divorce, then you'll be divorced whether or not go anyhow. I mean, you're going to face tough times either way. Commit to daily time with the family, and put them first (which is why you are doing this in the first place, I hope), and everything will be fine.

Well said. I will be graduating in May of '07 from an ADN program (God willing.) I have done exactly as you said...I treat school like a full-time job, but family time is family time...period. I have sacrificed very little of my time with my family for school. That being said, what used to be a 3.8 overall GPA is now about a 3.5...if I end up with a "C" because I didn't studay ALL day Saturday and Sunday every week, then so be it...my family is more important.

[karmyk]

I think it depends on the marriage... you'll find that most strenuous academic programs (nursing school, med school, pt school, etc.) have high divorce rates.

One of the guys who used to work for me was having a tough time when his wife was going to nursing school. It wasn't necessarily the marriage or their relationship that was tough (they both loved each other dearly)... but it was the time and stress. He ended up having to take care of the kids as well as do his job as our workcenter's NCOIC (military thing)... which basically was also a 24-hours a day, 7 days a week job. When the war kicked off, the man never slept. I swear, our entire shop worked from 5:00 a.m. until about 1:00 a.m. or 2:00 a.m. the next morning, and we did the same on weekends... and the military doesn't pay overtime. His kids were at our office a lot.... and we usually tried our best to cover for him whenever his kids were sick or having problems with school. I tried my hardest to push for his promotion and give him high scores on his enlisted performance report (because, the nursing school problems aside, he was an excellent NCOIC and airman/soldier), but the Group Superintendent and Group Commander (our big bosses) were against it because they thought that my NCOIC didn't give his 110% to the military and was too worried about his family to deserve a promotion... It was disappointing.

I can totally understand where marriages can fail if the love, devotion, etc. are already in trouble to begin with... especially if the other spouse is very high-maintenance, insecure, jealous, etc. Nursing school is tough.

[RN2bemommyof3]

I just wanted to add that the divorce rate is that high in the country so I don't think it has anything to do with nursing school. Also, people quit to easily if they are divorcing over something that is only temporary!

[marilynmom]

Originally Posted by DDD

I'm just going to say it like it is...

Don't listen to the cry babies. 50/50 divorce rate? Really. So they have the data at hand? Much Ado About Nothing. The whole "Nursing School Causes Divorce" can be a self-fulfiling prophecy if you let it. Another example of if you repeat a lie enough, it becomes the truth.

How's it any different than a job? You do a 40 or 50 hr work week. Treat it just like that. Set those hours aside, do the work, and leave it there. Don't bring it home with you.

For better or worse...don't forget it. If getting an "A" rather than a "B" is more important than your marriage, then you have the wrong priorities. If this "hard time" will cause you to divorce, then you'll be divorced whether or not go anyhow. I mean, you're going to face tough times either way. Commit to daily time with the family, and put them first (which is why you are doing this in the first place, I hope), and everything will be fine.

Nothing "causes" divorce except the people involved. It's nursing school, nothing more, and it's a short (though stressful) part of life. Life has a lot of stress, things happen, get over it is what I say.

My family comes first, my health, my well being, school comes after all that.

[RNsRWe]

If approximately half of all nursing students divorce, then they're average Americans. About half of all Americans divorce!

If you have a strong marriage, stress doesn't change that. Sometimes, it strengthens it. A weak marriage, OTOH, is weakened in times of stress.

No one can "make" your marriage go bad except you and your husband combined. School is what you want? He'll support you? Go for it!

[fleur-de-lis]

I agree that it is not nursing school that causes divorce, but the people in the marriage. It is more how you handle it and negotiate your life together that determines success or failure. I have found that it is important to regularly check in with my husband and see how he is handling things, since he had had to assume more responsibilities since I started school. Some guys tend to conceal their stress until it erupts, normally at their loved ones! I try to gauge how stressed he is and decompress the situation before it gets out of hand. You have to decide before school what things you will NOT compromise, such as Date nights or family dinners, then stick to it throughout school. Set time for studying, and when the time is up, put it away!