Hi, apoole77--
Don't beat yourself up. That is what clinical instructors are for!!! LOL
Seriously, lighten up, enjoy the time you can breathe a little easier and study for that final exam you mentioned. Then...you get a break for the holidays, yes? Use that time to take care of you. No one else can or will. I learned the hardest way possible while taking care of two little ones and going full time to nursing school later in life that I was my own worst critic
and WAY too hard on myself. Still working on this issue, but I believe it will just have to be considered part of my persona 'til the end of my days. So, although I've improved on lightening up on me, I do still beat me up some!
I think it's a trait of good nurses and people in general who honestly care about their work/others perceptions of them.
Take a bubble bath, hug a child and/or dog, take a walk and just breathe deeply and look at the beautiful sky and your surroundings outside and just be. Pretend you're on a walk for the first time and seeing things around you that are new and fresh to your eyes and are hearing them for the first time ever.
Play or buy that CD that always peps you up. Dance when and where no one else can see you .... just do a silly crazed let it all hang out and get your stress level down by sheer physical energy release....dance
Eat chocolate, just enough to get that feel good feeling.
Read an important passage or inspiring few pages in a feel good book or the bible. Massage your feet. Massage your hands, palms especially. Lay down on a heating pad set on low for twenty minutes and just concentrate on breathing, in and out..slowly.
Is there a specific reason that you feel that you may have performed below clinical instructor's expectations of you in clinical this semester?
If not, then, you're being too hard on yourself. We could all improve on things with the use of hindsight but unfortunately impossible to rewind our lives and go back to improve those little things.
Take it easy on you....you're going to have plenty more clinical days that you can perform up to your and your instructor's expectations.
I never felt like I was as confident and that my clinical days went very smoothly. Just sheer nerves. Just me and my inner critic.
I'm sure that you've done better than you think. You're still a student. You're still learning. It's alright to feel insecure.
Take care.
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