[eccentricRN]

You feel like the worst mother in the world, at least I did... but school had to come first, plus I had to hold together the household, do most of the chores, pay bills...yadda, yadda, yadda... My son was 2 when I started & I graduated last Dec, & he just turned 6... lots of time I hated & he hated to hear "mommy has to study, I cant right now...maybe tomorrow"... but tomorrow is here & we survived & I think my dh & my son were much more relieved when I walked for graduation than I was!!!
It hurts a little now, but they're young & this will soon be a thing of the past...and what a great gift you give your children...the idea that it's never too late & where there's a will there's a way!!!
Hang in there... find a way to make time for you & your kids... I designated every Fri evening to my son... you'll find what works for you. Good Luck... it doesn't last for ever!!!!

[bookworm1]

yep, same thing here, too! I forget to sign the nightly homework slips, don't always do a thorough check of the nightly math papers, forget to send in field trip slips... I am grateful that of my youngest two children, one has a teacher that is a mother and a recent grad, so she understands that my brain is always functioning on over drive. The other teacher is not so understanding and has a tendency to make me feel like the lousiest mother in the world. On top of that, this teacher has the pleasure of teaching my daughter that suffers from attachment disorder, PTSD, and a myriad of other things. I know it's not fair to them, but in the end they will all greatly benefit. I only have one more year to go...
Lets face it-because we are mothers, we would feel guilty for something no matter what!

[KarmaInMotion]

My family and I are still working through this. My first year of prereqs was a breeze. Husband and older daughter (7 then) I think got a kick out of it as much as me. My son was 2 and in his own world. Classes were easy.

Between terms of the second year of prereqs I was spending more time away or more time unavailable studying, writing papers, or whatever. My husband and I got into a big fight. He is sick and he used to always make comments about how much time he had left to live. I finally had to get harsh and break it down for him. I yelled at him and told him that he was the one always making comments about being on deaths doorstep, so he should be the most supportive to make sure I am able to provide for our kids if he is ever not around. He finally got it.

Since then, he has been doing his best to help out more and help our kids be more self sufficient and helpful as well. My daughter understands I am doing this to be able to provide for her long term. My son is now almost 4 and the one having some trouble coping, but we're working on it. My daughter has been through quite a bit and knows this is a better alternative to having an uncertain job with mediocre pay and few options or opportuinities. That's also the way I try to boost myself if I ever start to feel guilty too. I imagine the long term alternative "carreer" and lifestyle.

Even now entering NS and knowing all the work ahead still, I am trying to prepare my family for what is to come for the next 2 years. I take advantage of any extra time to hug and love my kids and I tell them every chance I can that I love them. Forget the perfect house, the kids need to learn too, be it teamwork for the family or just how to take care of themselves at their appropriate levels.

Never feel guilty for working toward enhancing and enriching future lives - yours, your family's and let's not forget our many future patients'. Moms can only do som much, we're human too.

[MrsBradyMom]

Yup, another bad mommy here. I am no longer with my kids' father, but I have remarried and my husband also has 3 kids. I guess in a lot of ways my kids may have it easier since they visit their dad two overnights a week. I have dumped a lot of activities at my ex's doorstep such as taking the kids to school every am for me, T-Ball games/practices, and even teaching my oldest how to drive. As much as it pains me to say.....I guess I owe him.

Does anyone else feel like they spoil their kids more now? I find myself saying "fine, have a snack" just so I can get 10 more minutes of peace. The oldest girls (17,18) always seem to pick the perfect time to drop "bombs" on me as well. My baby (5) is not doing so hot in kindergarten and I just wonder if it's because he's lacking my attention. My husband is wonderful, but his position is one of a laid back stepdad. He fears tramping on my ex's toes and therefore likes to say "thats what they have a father for" whenever I ask him to do something. It must be a guy thing. My ex seems to appreciate it, but it annoys the heck out of me and I don't think the kids understand it. My position on being a stepmom is the more the merrier. You can never have enough love (and eyes) looking out for you.

I guess maybe I got sidetracked there, but I do understand and feel everyone's pain and guilt. It's a terrible feeling.

[rockenmomRN]

O FREAKIN' MG...IM CRYING AS I READ THESE POSTS!

Next week is my last week of school. Every story here, I can relate to. Last week was my kindergardners end of school play. On the way home from school the afternoon of the play we were all singing his song. My eight year old started crying. When I asked why he was crying, he said "because last year you didn't get me to my 1st grade play on time, and this year you are making so much effort to take J..... to his play! I'm just not imortant to you!"

I started crying with him and tried to explain that He's not the only one missing out on things, I'm missing out on being with him. I tried telling him that He and his brother are the most important things in my life (and daddy of course, but he doesn't look as heart breaking). No mater what, they will never understand, I'm doing this for them. He later told me that he heard me telling someone that I rescheduled a chlinical day so I could make it to my son's school play.

I'm so glad this is over b/c i'm about to die from guilt...

[phoenixfire]

I am in the same boat with most of you. Before nursing school, I was the go to girl, the get it done woman, whatever the current title is nowadays. I still manage to get everything done, although nowadays, the clothes are clean but most likley not ironed, the dinner is made, but not gourmet, and dishes are washed, but most likely still on the counter. I may not be as efficient as I was before, but I think that my kids and my husband understand that this is something I need to do. Because when Mommy feels good about who she is, she is a better Mommy, better wife, and a better nurse!

Keep your chin up darlin!

[danissa]

Originally Posted by bookworm1

.....Lets face it-because we are mothers, we would feel guilty for something no matter what!

bookworm...you hit the nail right on the head there! Guilt doesn't stop when you get out of nursing school and start working. Guilt is something you always feel, as deep down, wouldn't we all love to be at home to raise our children, cook healthy meals every night, ferry them around to wherever they need to be? To be on hand to give Mammy cuddles when things go wrong, and not be at work must be one of the greatest things to be able to do!
But in this old world, we cant always have it perfect. My only comfort thought to myself is that most Mums work, doesn't really make up for all the years Iv'e missed stuff, but it is a wee bit of a comfort. And Kiddos have the greatest gift for making you feel like the world's worst Mother BTW! Everyone else has...or Everyone elses Mum does...etc....reality...No, not everyone dearie!
Just do your best, it's all you can do.

[marilynmom]

I agree with the above poster who said as mothers, no matter what, we feel guilty about something. When I was a SAHM I felt guilty about things just as much, just different things than working moms feel guilty about.

My family had hard times while I was in school (especially around exams and my last semester of nursing school was HARD!!!). I had to come to the realization and let them know that for 2 years I am going to be busy and might not be able to spend as much time with them as before, etc. I did NOT allow myself to feel guilty after that (men don't!!)--my girls are now 10 and 6 years old. I knew that what I was doing was for my families best interest, especially my children.

School is over for me and it was all totally worth it!! I know that I am doing the best I can do and, well, that is all I can do.

Go working mothers!!!!!

[Hopefull2009]

My twins are just now getting at the age to where I can set some cereal out or what I make for breakfast, if I turn on the cartoons, I can rest on the couch (after making sure the doors are locked) and get another hour of half-asleep shut eye.

The door thing, I learned the hard way. After getting up at 3:00 a.m. to study for an exam, that afternoon I crashed. I must have fell asleep hard, because I woke up...with ONE kid in the living room, and the other child gone.

I looked up...front door, wide open...my son just watching spongebob.

Mother's intuition must have kicked in because I looked outside to see my daughter frolicking across the field (she had to cross a ROAD..very rural...but STILL) to get to the field. There was two labs she was playing with (very friendly) and her dress and hair was just blowing in the wind as she was just dancing across the neighborhood and playing with the dogs.

I ran across the field as fast as I could...calling her name...she just laughed and kept running!!!!!!!

She was headed right toward a distant neighbor's house that I knew had 3 pit pulls chained up...so I was scared to death she would go near them. I finally caught up with her and carried her back home.

NOW when I hear news stories of these horrible things happening to children and would hear, "Oh the Mom was asleep" I used to say underneath my breath, "Probably a drug addict."

NOW I KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS!!!!!

I'm usually able to rest with an ear open...not really sleeping, just closing my eyes...I don't want anyone to think I sleep with my kids running around...I was just so exhausted I must have just passed clean out.

[Rianna1]

Hopeful, I also lost it with my son a few weeks ago. We were just getting into the routine of NS and me getting the kids up at 5am to be in class at 8am. I used swear words too, the absolute NO NO. I forget that sometimes mommies need a "time out" too and I should have taken one instead of having my temper get out of hand. I do have mommy guilt but it quickly goes away when I realize that NS will not last forever and that when I do spend time with the kids, it is quality time. To all the Nursing school Moms, You Rock!!