[actioncat]

Well, if money is a big issue, then yes, your daughter should be investigating the two year program!

[Catys_With_Me]

Originally Posted by NOIRLINCOLN

I like to keep the AP classes seperate from the nursing classes. I want her to focus on assessments, care plans, and the foundations of nursing.

She is "Mommy's Baby"

I will be just as adament about her continuing her education beyond her ADN.

Way...

Too...

Involved...

[Spidey's mom]

As I was reading this tonight it just struck me . . .has your daughter been reading along too? I think it would be good for her to read all these different responses from folks who have been there.

In your first post you made it seem that money was not an object in this discussion. I'm a great believer in community college for general education if money is a problem.

However, I still think the university experience is hard to beat.

My son started out as a freshman transfer student at the university he chose instead of a sophomore - he had to live in the freshman dorm for one semester. One of his lower division classes didn't transfer. Such is the life of a college student. He is now caught up and will graduate next in a year.

He will also have loans to pay off - but that is also life as a college student now.

steph

[targa]

...is amazing, because to me the root problem is clear: this is a domineering control-freak of a mother who will never let go of any aspect of her daughter's life. This won't be the first "heated" discussion. Just wait until daughter starts to seriously date; no man is ever going to be good enough.

If daughter is smart, she will attend a university at least 300 miles from mom's residence, and she'll maintain that distance throughout life.

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by chris_at_lucas_RN

When kids learn a) to carry their own weight and b) to be grateful for what parents can and are willing to do for them, they have matured.

Here is a daughter trying to assert herself, carry here own weight, but is finding that difficult due to mom making the decision on her future education for her. How is it possible for daughter to carry her own weight in this situation?

I'm sure daughter is grateful for what the parents were are willing to do. My dad was willing to assist me to get into the Army, and I was grateful. I told him no thank you and he had the grace to accept that and let me live my own life and make my own decisions and consequently make some predictable mistakes that wasn't his job to shield me from.

When parents let go of their adult children and allow them to make their own decisions then that is a sign of a mature parent. imo

[Tweety]

Originally Posted by targa

...is amazing, because to me the root problem is clear: this is a domineering control-freak of a mother ............

I don't think so. This mom just sincerely wants what's best for her daughter, and what she is capable of providing for her daughter. I think she's a bit one-side and closed-minded, but domineering control freak is too harsh. (Besides most parents are domineering control freaks in the process of letting go, imo. Parents always think they know what's best for their adult kids and are constantly asserting that.)

I do agree however, that getting as far away from parents as possible to go to college is a very good idea.

[caligirl]

Originally Posted by NOIRLINCOLN

I want my daughter to drive a BMW to class but she is not going to. I am not discouraging her from getting her BSN. I have a BS degree. I think theory is great when one can afford to sit in the chair and listen w/o having to worry about Maslow's first rung. You mentioned that you have a resource that I don't have, a husband. I do not have that support system. We are just a couple of broke folks in America tryin' to make it. I left a lot of people behind on my dead end travel agent job of most recent who were in my similar socioeconomic group and they are not even aspiring to go to college. I am going to school on a very slight 401k fund. I have one for me, and one for my daughter. I know that the other 401k fund will completely pay for her (2) yr ADN degree and transportation. That same 401k fund will not scratch a dent in the (4) yr university's 1st semester tuition, let alone, transportation.

I thought you were a nurse... My bad. I must be confused. You mentioned that I have resourse you dont which is my husband.. well you have a resource I don't have which is a job. My husband is our only income and he in the military so it isn't like we are rolling in the dough or anything.. Not meant to be a ******* contest but I wanted to emphasize we all have our unique challenges.

Me thinks you only want people to agree with you. You sound like any opinion given to you that opposes yours is unwelcome so whatever. If I were your daughter I would trot my happy self down to San Antonio and go to UT Health Science Center and get my BSN. I would take out loans and live on my own. School and the Cost of living is fairly low in San Antonio. I lived there for 5 years.

Another bit of advice although I doubt you will take it.. Don't get so caught up in "teaching lessons." You seem to keep posting how you want her to learn this lesson or the value of this or that.. Just be a parent and take it day by day. If you get caught up in teaching lessons, I garauntee you are going to LOSE her. I am sure she is not interested in life's lessons at 17 years old.. I certainly wasnt...

[JudithL_in_NH]

Been following this thread from the beginning and holding my tongue ;-)

I know from whence I speak: I'm a previous bachelor's degree (took me until 28 to get it; had no $$ & no family support), currently ADN senior, mom of three (20, 18, and 11 year olds)--my daughter is a HS senior, applying to BSN programs.

God love you, OP, and I appreciate that you are looking out for your daughter--but it all seems to be about what you want, not your daughter's needs or wishes. From the info given here, I do sense control issues.

She's an adult. I hope she'll profit from your counsel, but the decisions, benefits, and consequences are rightfully hers.

[NOIRLINCOLN]

Originally Posted by stevielynn

As I was reading this tonight it just struck me . . .has your daughter been reading along too? I think it would be good for her to read all these different responses from folks who have been there.

In your first post you made it seem that money was not an object in this discussion. I'm a great believer in community college for general education if money is a problem.

However, I still think the university experience is hard to beat.

My son started out as a freshman transfer student at the university he chose instead of a sophomore - he had to live in the freshman dorm for one semester. One of his lower division classes didn't transfer. Such is the life of a college student. He is now caught up and will graduate next in a year.

He will also have loans to pay off - but that is also life as a college student now.

steph

I never said that money was not an object. I said in the OP:

The BSN program at the university is $455.00 per credit hr as opposed to $81.00 at the Jr college. Obviously money is an issue for us, and I do not want her to go into debt.

[NOIRLINCOLN]

Originally Posted by targa

...is amazing, because to me the root problem is clear: this is a domineering control-freak of a mother who will never let go of any aspect of her daughter's life. This won't be the first "heated" discussion. Just wait until daughter starts to seriously date; no man is ever going to be good enough.

If daughter is smart, she will attend a university at least 300 miles from mom's residence, and she'll maintain that distance throughout life.

Surprisingly I like many of her formal dance partners, and she is just casual about them. My daughter is much, much more selective than I am. She tends to like the all American hottie-type if there is such a catagory. I am more of the Hippie-type. She goes more for the "traditionally accomplished type", and I go more for the "basic instinct type". I keep telling her rather than worry about a prom date why don't you go with the handsome young man that escorted you to homecoming. His mother was so impressed with my daughter. I was equally as impressed with her son. Her son has high aspirations to go into the Air Force and he plays the bagpipes. My daughter and I have lived more than 300 miles apart for most of her growing life. She lives with my mother. We live at least 1100 miles apart. My mother is the true domineering control freak of the family. My mother's justification for everything is "I am the mother here and I make the rules". I am really quite laisse-faire except when it comes to my daughter's financial future, but stay tuned you will love my newest announcement!