[nurse educate]

Off the top of my head, I can think of 4 wakes that I've been to. Theses were kids (bmt patients). You really get close to these kids and the families. They seemed appreciative that we came. It is difficult. I was very nervous with the first one- for fear of the parents reliving bad memories of their kid being really sick.

I haven't been to one in a couple of years, I only work per-diem in the hospital now. Thus, less attachment.

[Diploma'82]

When I worked oncology I attended 1 or 2 because I had come to know the patients so well

[CrunchRN]

Once. To support a very special patient's family. Otherwise I avoid them like the plague.

[Hellllllo Nurse]

I am in dialysis, like the OP. In the past, I was a hospice nurse.

I have never been to a pts funeral. I care about my pts, am friendly with them, and shed tears when we lose one.

However, going to a pt's funeral is not something I would want to do. I do not want to feel that personal with my pts. Everyone's boundaries and level of comfort are different.

[hassled]

Yes I have, one was a resident where I worked and I just loved her, another was a patient in the same nursing home as my husband died in and I had been to uni with him. I spent some time in his room as he no-one there when he was really low and he died about 1/2 hour after I left. Many of the staff cane to my husband's funeral last year and that was really nice.

[traumaRUs]

No - I haven't. I'm an APN in chronic outpt dialysis. Our nephrology practice always sends flowers and a card signed by all of us to the family when one of our pts dies.

[Hellllllo Nurse]

No.

I have worked dialysis, hospice and LTC. I care about my pts, and have gotten to know some of them well. However, I think it's an individual thing. For me, going to a funeral does not provide closure, or help me say goodbye. It just depresses me.

I say a prayer for my deceased pts and say a little goodbye to them in my mind. I do not want to go to their funerals.

[jnette]

Gone to more than I care to remember.

Like Hellllo, though.. it started getting to me. In dialysis you lose MANY over time.

Stopped going after several years. Even now in HH, I try to avoid it if I can.. or I'd be spending all my time going to funerals. Very sad, and I prefer to remember them alive.

[Spidey's mom]

Yes I have. This is a small town and I know most of my patients. Some may even be family members.

steph

[rick3114]

In the 14 years of being a dialysis RN I have only attended one funeral of a very special patient of mine several years back. I used to look forward to taking care of this wonderful patient, as she was such an inspiration to me, her demeanor, her fearless countenance, her courage, her strength, her inner beauty as a human being. She was a bilateral amputee who at one time in her life was a famous model in NYC, but she lived in Boston. She was in her 80's. The stories she used to tell us. She brought her portfolio in and I was amazed at how time had changed her along with diabetes and dialysis and amputations. Her husband loved her very much and doted on her and I knew her son because he owned a store in my neighborhood where his father would also work. I knew the whole family before I knew her as a patient. She just happened to come to my unit when she could no longer be taken care of in an outpatient unit. At least once a week her right forearm graft would clot, and she would have to be hospitalized overnight because she was so fragile. I used to say to her, "Ceil, how do you stay so happy when this clotting happens to you once a week?" She would say to me, "smile the world smiles with you, cry you cry alone!" She was a beautiful person and when she died it was so sad for everyone, the whole unit adored her and our neighborhood as well. I had never been to a patients service or funeral before, but I really felt as if I had to go. And, I did. And, I felt better for doing so. For years she was part of my life three times a week, in our acute hospital unit setting. I still miss her company, her smile, her laugh. She was so sweet. She is the only patient's funeral I have ever been to. So if you feel like you need to go, I think you should go. I hope this helps you.