[JasmineG]

Hi all,

Sorry this is long. I need your advice, I'm at my wits end and hope I'm doing the right thing and hoping it's not too late. My husband says I should know what to do since I'm a nurse now, but knowing what is right for my patients is one thing, and doing whats right for my kids is something totally different, I dont have the doctor, doctors orders or charge nurse, to go to if I have questions or concerns, like I do with patients.

Well, my 10year old son has just started the 5th grade and his first week was just horrible. All throughout his elementary education he has had problems with focusing. No hyperactivity, at all, but the boy can sit and daydream or find anything else to do, except class/homework, while sitting quietly at his desk or at home at the table. I had been hoping that he would outgrow this as time went on, his teachers have said "boys mature slower than girls, give it time" but its getting worse. And its not only school work, he has a horrible time following verbal directions. I have to tell him several times what to do before he finally gets it. Like going to retrieve something from another room, I tell him what he needs to get, he repeats back to me, what he'll be getting and where to get it from, then he'll come back empty handed, multiple times(just an example)
He does get frustrated, and asks "why are other people able to do things easier than me."
Well, I took him to an ADD specialist. I dont want his academic career to go down the drain. He only has one class and one teacher right now, and has trouble handling that. Soon he'll be going to Jr High and I'm afraid he'll get really lost and give up on school. He is able comprehend his work, but cant get organized enough to do it. Hes actually quite bright, has high test scores, when he actually can finish the test.
The doctor had a meeting with me and my son, we did all of the paperwork, in which there is tons of. And she is recommending meds for him, we go in Tuesday to talk about all of our options.

Can anyone advise me on what to be cautious of. Maybe what meds should set off alarms and bells, and what meds for ADD you have had good experiences with. I know meds affect everyone different, but any advise will be welcome.

Thanks
J

[SouthernLPN2RN]

If he is given a prescription, please let him take it. My DD has the same problem and she's now on concerta after being on adderall for a few years. She is a very bright and loving child, but without the meds, schoolwork is OUT. The very first day she ever took anything, the difference was amazing! She managed to get dressed that morning without me having to do it for her. With your son being 10, he'll be able to give you a good deal of input on whether or not the meds are working and what side effects they may be causing him. Good luck!

[kmchugh]

Jasmine

This is one of those topics that will strike a chord with many people. There are those out there who doubt ADD, and will even flat out say people are just drugging kids without regard to the "real problem." Having a son (now 25) who was diagnosed with ADHD, I'm not one of those people. I saw the difference it made, literally overnight, in my son. He went from being a frustrated, unhappy C student to a happy, popular A student. Homework went from being a screaming, two and one half hour experience to a quiet 45 minutes a night. He was finally able to focus.

My tribulations are long past, but I can tell you some of the things we ran into. My son was initially given Ritalin for the problem. Although it solved his focus problems, it also gave him headaches. Our initial physician told us he'd just have to put up with it. Later, we found another physician who was willing to work with us, changed my son to dexadrine, and voila! No more headaches, and he was focused (he is now a college graduate working in business). While the drugs may have changed, the central lesson has not. If your physician is a one drug physician, go elsewhere. There are a number of medications used to treat the condition. Discuss possible treatment options for your son. Frankly discuss what the physician does in the event that one drug has unacceptable side effects, or if it simply does not work. Essentially, ask the same kinds of questions you would about any other treatment plan.

Hang in there. I know that your son particularly is going through a tough time. It does get better.

Kevin McHugh

[Dratz]

I know exactly what you are going through. I have a son who is 14 and he has ADHD. He was diagnosed in grade one. We did the whole Ritalin route and yes, we did notice changes but ............he still struggled and we never really saw an improvement in his grades.

As time wore on, he complained of headaches and nausea and lost his appetite completely. We never gave him the Ritalin on the weekends and then gave him the summer off of it.

The schools were noncompliant in giving him his meds on time at noon and when they did hand him the meds, they never watched to ensure that he took it. Finally, I had him put on the slow release and that solved the compliance problem because then I ensured he took it in the mornings.

Eventually, seeing no improvement in his grades, oh sure his teachers were all happy because he sat in class zoned and quiet, but his physical health was more important to us that his grades at that point and we took him off of it. He was very happy to be off of it.

Life with my son has been extremely hard. Last year he was diagnosed with Conduct Disorder...which is common in kids with ADHD..not to scare you .......but CD is THE WORST DISORDER AND THE MOST STRESSFUL DISORDER anyone would ever want in their family.

Grade 8 was a nightmare......he barely made it and he made it only because I helped him. Grade 9 is proving to be exactly the same as grade 8. I hesitate at this point to put him back on the Ritalin because I worry that he might start selling it to his friends for the high that NON adhd kids can get. I was assured by one of his doctors that slow release Ritalin is a pretty boring high to most teens and not to worry...but with his CD disorder, the last thing I need is for him to get into any more trouble with the police.

Right now my son is in so much trouble with the law that I think the judge will step in and demand that he resume his meds. Not sure how Ritalin will improve the Conduct Disorder..but knowing little about the long term affects of Ritalin, I once again hesitate to put him on it.

My advice to you is this: Educate yourself as much as possible about this disorder. Find out what it can lead to. Oppositional Defiance Disorder is also known to accompany ADHD.

Since this post is not about My son, I hope that folks will refrain from advising me to put my son back on the Ritalin. That is not why I am posting.

To the OP....join a support group, you will need it. Educate your teachers if you have to ( I had to)....and pray.

Life with an ADHD, CD child has not been a picnic. I wonder some days just how I manage to maintain my sanity. I hope things get better for your child.

[NRSKarenRN]

Originally Posted by JasmineG

Well, my 10year old son has just started the 5th grade and his first week was just horrible. All throughout his elementary education he has had problems with focusing. No hyperactivity, at all, but the boy can sit and daydream or find anything else to do, except class/homework, while sitting quietly at his desk or at home at the table. I had been hoping that he would outgrow this as time went on, his teachers have said "boys mature slower than girls, give it time" but its getting worse. And its not only school work, he has a horrible time following verbal directions. I have to tell him several times what to do before he finally gets it. Like going to retrieve something from another room, I tell him what he needs to get, he repeats back to me, what he'll be getting and where to get it from, then he'll come back empty handed, multiple times(just an example)
He does get frustrated, and asks "why are other people able to do things easier than me."

Your describing my youngest son! Took 1 hour to put on a pair of socks and shoes at age 6 as would be distracted by surroundings. He always appeared to be thinking about something as had vacant staried eyed look of wonder and would need 4-10 prompts to just do ONE thing like putting toy away, brushing teeth, or closing a door! Playing soccer meant studying the clouds or a blade of grass, instead of where the ball was moving.

Officially diagnosed as ADD, inattentive type after 3-4 months observation and testing in kindergarden. Started on Ritalin and within one week difference was like night and day. Initial difficulities with reading/concentrated activities improved with extra tutelage 1st and second grade. By 5th grade he was reading with a passion that astonished everyone----received in-school detention by principal for "reading nonfiction books at innappropriate times, middle of science and religion classes". 7th grade teacher noticed he was way too quiet, not raising hand at all til 1-2PM and felt Ritalin was sedating him in AM with effect wearing off afternoon-- he was only on Ritalin 20mg SR.
We cut back to 10mg SR dose and within week was interacting with classmates / teacher in AM. He still needed multiple prompts about getting dressed, eating breakfast and being ready for school bus till middle of 7th grade when it seemed switch finally turned on and he was independent. By 8th grade, he had read just about every book in school library receiving reading award at graduation. Continued to play soccer for 10 years ---never an offensive person, but good defensive backfield player.

Now 17yo HS Senior, he is doing well academically. He is totally independent in his school work past 2 years. Mixture of academic and vo-tech type classes: ceramics, auto shop, woodworking and cooking seemed to help him learn to follow through with completion of task and allowing focus on one type of activity at a time. He's developed another passion: cooking, desiring to be a chef and applying to culinary college this year.


What has helped him the most was
a. structured day with posted schedule that he could look at each AM upon awakening
b. 30 min rest after school then homework
c. List of tasks to do each day.
d. Homework book that both teacher and parent signed off on.
e. Front of classroom so teacher could observe if off track.
f. Meeting with teachers q1-2 months to discuss progress and current med management.


Two sites with great info I've used:
Attention Deficit Disorder Association
Articles, personal stories, interviews with ADD professionals, book reviews, and links to other ADD-related info
www.add.org


CHADD: Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity
A national non-profit organization representing children and adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity
www.chadd.org/

Another bb member reported she found info from Dr Daniel Amen helpful: http://amenclinics.com/bp/


There is hope and help out there. Wishing you the best in finding the right combo for your son.

[JentheRN05]

It's my opinion, since I have 2 boys in the same boat, that first you should try the non-addictive kind. Strattera - I think I made the mistake of putting my youngest on Ritalin, and not having the chance to switch him. I didn't think he needed it in the first place but he did, and his lack of friends (because of his words, "I annoy everyone mom") I saw that he did at least need to be checked. He's on the lowest dose, but I really would like to change him to strattera.

[JasmineG]

Thanks for the responses

I have just felt so guilty for what is happening to him. I have had teachers tell me he would do better if he had more support at home. Well he actually gets more attention and help from me than my 2 girls get. I switched to 11p to 7a shift so I could be there when he needs me, so I was at a loss of how much more can I be there for him. Im doing everything in my power to make sure he doesnt fail. Well anywho, thanks for all of the support and info.

J

[NewEnglandRN]

Jasmine, please do NOT feel guilty. It sounds like you are doing everything you can do help your son.

My youngest son was diagnosed with ADD at 8. He also has a language-based learning disorder. We started him on Concerta and the difference has been amazing. Now, he enjoys school and is reading at grade level. We did try Strattera when it first came out, but for my son, it was not helpful.

We have tried to go through the weekend and holidays without the Concerta, but I can see how much it helps him. He notices too; it helps him have a better quality of life.

Good luck!

[missninaRN]

My son was not diagnosed until he was a high school junior. By the time we realized what the problem was, he was failing in school, overwhelmed by life, and so deeply depressed that he couldn't get out of bed. He stopped seeing his friends, quit his job, and pretty much gave up on life. At one point he told me that he was afraid he would never feel like himself again.
Do not let your child reach this point. There are things you can do now. Meds dramatically changed our son's life. It took some time to find the right combination of meds, but when we finally hit on the right one, he improved within two weeks. We have our funny, compassionate, intelligient, and creative son back. He now spends time with his friends, holds down a job, and is about to begin graphic arts studies. He's also tapering off of the medication to see if he can use some of the maturity he gained from this experience to manage his time, stay organized, and deal with life in general. But he knows that he may always need meds. If it comes down to having a normal life or just lying in bed all day, the choice is rather clear.
ADD is not a life sentence. It does not mean that a child has any less promise or hope for the future.

[Thunderwolf]

Excellent support given to JasminG. Thanks JasmineG for bringing your concerns to the table. I'm glad the board helped.

Wolfie