[aeronursenj]

Well as I sit here tonight I am pondering whether or not I still want to do peds. I was involved in a code where a 3 month old little boy passed away. I knew that it was a chance, but the reality hit me. I looked and listended to the mother and her desperiate pleads to god. I know I will bounce back, but was wondering do you grow numb to it? Or does it always take a part of your heart.

Aeronursenj

[danissa]

You don't grow numb, but you grow and are better able to cope with it. Death of a baby or child will always hurt your heart, you are human, but if this is the path you choose to follow, then you will gain strength and be able to help those most in need, the family of the wee one who is suffering or passing away. It never stops being difficult, heart tearing, soul searching....sometimes it's a much needed blessing for the poor wee soul who needs rest and peace, sometimes it's way too sudden. Always...it hurts, when you care, loss of life hurts, but, in your role as caregiver, just being with a family brings them some comfort. Thats what its all about really.

Good luck to you, you will find your way, I'm sure. X

[janfrn]

The day it stops hurting your heart is the day you should move on. I've been a peds nurse my whole career and to this day am deeply moved when a child dies in our unit. One of our little cardiac kiddies who had multiple admissions died rather unexpectedly on my first day back after attending a conference. I was in another part of the unit and had no involvement with the child at that time, but I felt it anyway. When I saw his mom almost running out of the unit, I wanted to cry. That tells me I'm where I should be.

[JessPedsRN]

[quote=janfrn;2861096]The day it stops hurting your heart is the day you should move on. quote]
I couldn't have said it better.
You learn how to deal with it, but it should never NOT be a big deal with a patient dies. And many families have told me that it makes it easier for them to see the staff emotional because they know they care and their child is in good hands.

[Sabby_NC]

Originally Posted by danissa

You don't grow numb, but you grow and are better able to cope with it. Death of a baby or child will always hurt your heart, you are human, but if this is the path you choose to follow, then you will gain strength and be able to help those most in need, the family of the wee one who is suffering or passing away. It never stops being difficult, heart tearing, soul searching....sometimes it's a much needed blessing for the poor wee soul who needs rest and peace, sometimes it's way too sudden. Always...it hurts, when you care, loss of life hurts, but, in your role as caregiver, just being with a family brings them some comfort. Thats what its all about really.

Good luck to you, you will find your way, I'm sure. X

Beautiful post it says it all.