[Elvish]

OB/Gyn/Nursery lurker here....I used to work in a Community Health Center where we did a lot of peds, well child, shots, sick visits, you name it, so peds still fascinates me.

I remember when I took my son for his 2 month shots to the place...I voluntarily left the room because I couldn't handle seeing him be stuck. (I have been in the room with him every time since then, shots or no.) Hearing him cry made me cry and also made my milk let down. So he's crying, I'm crying, milk is all over the front of my shirt (even with jumbo nursing pads), and it wasn't pretty. But he lived and so did I.

But I also remember being seriously p****d when I would hear parents say "he doesn't want his medicine" so he only got a couple doses of abx or whatever and now his strep is systemic...I agree with the poster who said that that is part of being a parent. I don't like seeing my child uncomfortable or in pain from being stuck or fussing bc he doesn't want his meds, but it by far beats the alternative.

[candicane]

I feel the same, it always upsets me when we get a kid in with resp distress, known asthma and the parents come in reeking of cigarette smoke and can't fiqure out why their child can't breathe (huge pet peeve!!)

Also this thread reminds me of the pt I think 12 came in with spontanous pneumothorax, chest tube put in in ER, dr did consious sedation because of age, as the pt starts becoming more alert says to mom "did it hurt, cause I thought it would hurt, but I think maybe it was a dream and it didn't really hurt" mom replies "oh yes honey it hurt really bad" and just kept egging it on. We had a heck of a time with the pt, turns out couldn't tolerate half the meds we tried for pain and everytime we would try something new mom would start asking are you ok honey, are you breathing ok, is your throat closing up (nothing caused any resp problems, all reactions were vomiting or hives)
I know mom was worried and scared but I think the kid would have done better if mom would have calmed down (dr offered us prn ativan for mom!!)

Maybe we need rule for parents if your child is sick...
1. If you bring your child for medical attention, do not freak out when we try to give it to them!

[Angie O'Plasty, RN]

Originally Posted by ItsyBitsySpider

I don't understand why some people come looking to us for help only to want to abuse the people that are trying to help them.

It helps to remember that watching a child cry out in pain is not something that mothers ever really get used to, nor would it be desirable for a parent to enjoy watching.

Anticipating that your child will have pain is just as painful for the parent as it is for the child.

Different cultures have different responses.

A friend of mine is a new mother and also is a healthcare worker, and called me in tears because her newborn had to have not one, but two, heelsticks for bilirubin. She also described it as "the worst experience of my life."

She said that the caregivers were wonderful, but that she couldn't bear to see her new babe in pain.

I know you do this on a daily basis (and god love you for it, I couldn't!) but next time, it might help to relax the child indirectly by helping the mother calm down first.

[ItsyBitsySpider]

Originally Posted by TrudyRN

ITA. It is very, very painful to see our children have to suffer, even if it's just a blood draw or a shot. Some parents just don't have what it takes to be the best role model for the child. The parents need support, as they can't support their kids. Time was when parents were exiled to the waiting room during any procedures on their child - sticks, draws, stitches. Visiting was severely restricted, no overnights. It was absolutely horrible. But now parents are expected to be bastions of strength and some just are not.

I always, each and every time, give parents the option of going to the waiting area during any and all procedures. I never fault the ones who do, matter of fact I am glad they do if they know they can't handle it.

[RoxanRN2003]

When I worked in the ER, I would always take Mom and Dad aside to explain what was going to happen. At the top of my list was "Junior takes his cues from you. If you freak out, he'll freak out. If you are calm, cool, and collected, he will find it much easier to be calm, cool and collected. If you feel like you are going to lose it, that's ok; just step outside the room first." I usually didn't have much problem with the parents who received this 'pep talk.'

[ItsyBitsySpider]

Originally Posted by Angie O'Plasty, RN

It helps to remember that watching a child cry out in pain is not something that mothers ever really get used to, nor would it be desirable for a parent to enjoy watching.

Anticipating that your child will have pain is just as painful for the parent as it is for the child.

Different cultures have different responses.

A friend of mine is a new mother and also is a healthcare worker, and called me in tears because her newborn had to have not one, but two, heelsticks for bilirubin. She also described it as "the worst experience of my life."

She said that the caregivers were wonderful, but that she couldn't bear to see her new babe in pain.

I know you do this on a daily basis (and god love you for it, I couldn't!) but next time, it might help to relax the child indirectly by helping the mother calm down first.

ITA with you about calming mom down first. In this case, it just was not possible. I can't begin to tell you just how irrational mom was. I like dealing with challenging people but she was just impossible. Thanks for the advice. I love your quote!

[ItsyBitsySpider]

Originally Posted by RoxanRN2003

When I worked in the ER, I would always take Mom and Dad aside to explain what was going to happen. At the top of my list was "Junior takes his cues from you. If you freak out, he'll freak out. If you are calm, cool, and collected, he will find it much easier to be calm, cool and collected. If you feel like you are going to lose it, that's ok; just step outside the room first." I usually didn't have much problem with the parents who received this 'pep talk.'

I like that pep talk!

[jrussole]

Most mothers that I have come in contact with are pretty good with their children. I believe it is important to note that if you feel the mother is going to be irrational or inflict fear into the child, it might be best to ask the mother to step aside or into the corner of the room where the child may not be able to see her face, etc. I usually calmly explain that her fear are going to reflect upon her child negatively. Whereby, a negative outcome can and will probably develop. If they continue to be irrational. I let the MD handle it. People usually respond better to MD anyway. I suppose they feel its ok to mistreat a nurse but not speak to a MD in the same manner? Even tho the nurse is probably much more skilled at putting an IV in than a MD. *(We get more practice) especially with kiddos!

[BSNDec06]

I ran into this situation a lot in clinicals, where the child would be fine until the mother arrived and started projecting her anxieties onto the kid.

I think that the idea of a pep talk is a great one. I often wanted to pull the mother aside and talk to her, but I didn't know what to say. "Your child takes his cues from you" is a much nicer way to communicate what I really wanted to say ("Stop freaking out, because you're only freaking your kid out more"). I understood that the parents were going through a hard time, but I also want to say in a nice way that they can leave if they can not handle seeing a procedure on their child.

I recently had to do finger sticks for lead screening on preschoolers. I found that it was much easier because we did it during the school day when the parents weren't there. My fellow students went to the classroom and taught the students what would be happening using a teddy bear. Then they had a familiar student nurse holding them during the procedure. We only had a few kids crying or screaming. We made sure to praise them for holding still, gave them stickers, and allowed them to cry if they needed to. Most of them just glared at me for a minute when I stuck them and said "OW!", then it was over.

I have a lot to learn about how to deal with parents; I think they are more challenging than the kids sometimes!

[ItsyBitsySpider]

Parents are one of the biggest challenges in dealing with peds nursing. Once you have gained their trust it really helps to facilitate a much more positive experience for the patient. With the exception of a life-threatening emergency, I always try to sit and talk with the parents first. It's just sometimes you think you know how a parent is going to act during a procedure, and I believe the parent thinks they can handle it, but when they hear their little one scream some just lose it. I had a dad punch the concrete wall next to me the other day. I guess better the wall than me. I don't mind the parents who are upset at their child "hurting", but it's the ones that actually get mad at us and act like we want to torture their kiddos that bug me. I must say though that the majority of parents really are great. Being a parent myself and being able to empathize with them helps. I couldn't even take my daughter to get her ears pierced.